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#466135 - 06/02/14 09:09 PM Re: mom's passing and reflection [Re: Obi]
sorryson Offline


Registered: 05/31/14
Posts: 64
please no one is a failure like I have been. My Dad died and I was never there for him. He was good to me and my brother and sister until everything changed at home because everyone expected Mama to leave us so they could still have a life. We changed when she was gone. She had a way to make us feel bad for not going to her instead of Dad as we did when she left us. We were taught to hate him so she could feel good. I believed and treated him badly. You were with your mother, you loved her. Your were not a failure.

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#466140 - 06/03/14 01:52 AM Re: mom's passing and reflection [Re: Obi]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 947
Loc: southern California
Obi,
I am surprised to read your words underestimating your positive influence on others. More likely, it is we who have failed to let you know how much you have helped us.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#466182 - 06/04/14 11:37 AM Re: mom's passing and reflection [Re: Obi]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1328
Loc: kansas
I guess crap comes in huge dumps.

literally just found out that my grandma, my mom's mother, was rushed to the ER. Currently she has shingles, her Bp is 206/91. They are going to check for pneumonia and will also be doing x-rays and blood panel.
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#466186 - 06/04/14 01:46 PM Re: mom's passing and reflection [Re: Obi]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1193
Loc: New York
Hey Obi

I hope everything turns out OK.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#466242 - 06/05/14 12:49 PM Re: mom's passing and reflection [Re: Obi]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1328
Loc: kansas
sorry, everyone....

i'm usually doing pretty well on this, but every once in a while it hits me.. this time it really knocked me down hard...

i do care about everyone on this site... i do try to help, and support, all that ask for it. i know i haven't done much of that lately, or hardly even been on the site as of late, because i was taking time to work on some of my issues that i know i could not post on ms due to the graphic nature of the topic(s). my posts would have been deleted, and rightfully so if i were to ever post them on here. so, i sought out help, support and solace with other survivors in private emails, skype, and so on, off of ms to get the help that i needed.

it would seem that there is a pattern that i am now recognizing and i'm not sure, at this moment, how to break that cycle. it does appear that whenever i start to work harder, and focus more, on my own issues the stronger the feelings of failing myself, and especially many others, hits me...
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#466259 - 06/05/14 10:16 PM Re: mom's passing and reflection [Re: Obi]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1193
Loc: New York
Hey Obi

I think all your friends and even the people that don't know you so well all agree that you are a really big help here on MS. Anytime anyone makes a post here on MS it's a big deal for someone. You do have a keen sense of what people are going through and are a big help in that way.

thanks for being here and all the help and love you supply

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#466340 - 06/07/14 05:18 PM Re: mom's passing and reflection [Re: lapchinj]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2435
Loc: TEXAS
(((obi))),

As one individual whose life that your mom had touched in a profound way i offer my compassion & condolences to you & your family.

She alonng with the rest of your family had taken this gay boy/man into not only their hearts & soul, but into their home & family. A gay boy/man who still in his heart & soul hated & feared ALL females.
She was instrumental in my recovery as i had begun to question & challange my beliefs in condeming ALL females, because of the actions of one female, my `mom.`

Your mom, along with the rest of your family didnīt see me as a gay boy/man to be feared & despised.
But as another human being who just happened to have been born a gay boy.

As far as you believeing that you are a failure, nothing could be further from the truth.

You opened not only your compassion, understanding & hope for me but your home as well.

You were always there for me. Gave me hope when i had none.
You heared my cries, you shared in my fears & even when i managed a few tears you shared in them too. We laughed together, we went into the deepest parts of our hearts & souls to help each other in our daily struggle to become a survivor.

As some of our brothers here have already stated you are not a failure in any way, shape or form.
One whom has made 1261 posts in helping his fellow brothers to ease their pains, shame & guilt can hardly say they are a failure.

I offer you the only thing that i posess, other than my name & that is my compassion, understanding, love & hope.
To help you through this chalanging period in your journey to become a survivor.

I will take that lost boys hand & I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity.
As he is me.

Wishing all my brothers well on the road to recovery.

Pete..Irishmoose
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#466897 - 06/22/14 07:55 PM Re: mom's passing and reflection [Re: Obi]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11074
Loc: Denver, CO
Todd, my condolences on the loss of you mother.
_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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