i've gotten to the point where i see that certain emotions are laced with those intrusive thoughts as part of my perception of the world, the sad part for me is this perception in undesired. It's almost as if the abuse is a magnet rearranging everything towards its pull,brain chemistry in the mix ..you get very powerful regression states, even daily reasoning in my opinion is very much mixed up with the abuse. I view sexual abuse as a disease that remains in the body after it was done, radioactive waste contamination sorts.
A big part of the recovery process for me has been separating aside regular consciousness from the contaminated emotions and thoughts, the best way probably is giving the abuse as little power over your life as possible.
This being said, i quit my job a week ago because i decided im not going to be a play it safe due to my traumatic past kind of man, i'm aiming to start up my own eco-friendly technology firm.
"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."