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#465619 - 05/21/14 09:48 PM Re: Understanding Dissociation [Re: sadclown]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 302
Loc: MO
Dear Sad Clown and all

I think what you are describibg is intrusive thoughts. The memories about the event become distracting to you mind. You sense that you experienced some emotions in the event, but do not feel those emotions now. Or perhaps as you say, muted emotions.

When you are back in it it is often referred to as a flashback.

Your loss of being able to focus on what is the here and now, the current thoughts, etc. Is why it is called intrusive.

Yes have have these often. More often than I want to admit. Even after 20 years of therapy at least once a week.

God Bless and may He be gentle unto you.

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#465620 - 05/21/14 10:05 PM Re: Understanding Dissociation [Re: genedebs]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 2151
Genedebs

Thank you for your insights. I am sorry the flashbacks or intrusive thoughts are still occurring after all these years. I hated the flashbacks, they were very debilitating and took me away from who I was. I have been fortunate and my flashbacks in recent months are minimal.

Today I was in a very disturbing discussion with someone who would trigger the past, dissociation and flashbacks in high frequency in the past along with others. I had left the area almost 10 months ago, I probably had two flashbacks since then. Well today, the discussion and words of the past almost led to a flashback but I hung up, I could feel the emotions and the images began to appear. I listened to my therapist and doctors, supporters and support group members to avoid the people who triggered the past and if they did to run. The experts were right. I recovered and was not derailed. I have learned new coping mechanisms.

I hope one day you find peace from these terrible intrusive thoughts, memories and the flashbacks. I hope you have found ways to rebound without too much interference in your life. Those who have not lived with these thoughts and flashbacks understand how tormenting they can be.

Kevin

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#465724 - 05/24/14 02:14 AM Re: Understanding Dissociation [Re: sadclown]
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 409
i've gotten to the point where i see that certain emotions are laced with those intrusive thoughts as part of my perception of the world, the sad part for me is this perception in undesired. It's almost as if the abuse is a magnet rearranging everything towards its pull,brain chemistry in the mix ..you get very powerful regression states, even daily reasoning in my opinion is very much mixed up with the abuse. I view sexual abuse as a disease that remains in the body after it was done, radioactive waste contamination sorts.
A big part of the recovery process for me has been separating aside regular consciousness from the contaminated emotions and thoughts, the best way probably is giving the abuse as little power over your life as possible.
This being said, i quit my job a week ago because i decided im not going to be a play it safe due to my traumatic past kind of man, i'm aiming to start up my own eco-friendly technology firm.
_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

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