Putting off the heavy stuff is necessary sometimes.
I struggle with someone wanting to hear about it, but I have often put people off when the need to be heard is dire and desperate.
Finding different ways to deal with one's own inner process seems like the best perspective. It can feel very lonely at times.
I think the connect between people has to change a little bit for it to be real again. That can feel like a plunge into a new ocean, but remembering the importance of one's friendship is probably a good way to find some solace in that.
I also think that mourning one's losses during the time away is good for healing while at the same time not making light of the "heavy stuff". During those moments when I can take some responsibility for it, I feel a lot better.
Lose the drama; life is a poem.