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#465268 - 05/12/14 06:02 PM Re: It took over 40 years, but here I am (My Intro) [Re: SurvivingMe]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1782
Welcome and I am glad you are here. It is a kind place that welcomes everyone. We do not judge, we try to support.

It took me 45 years to start the process of healing. Like you admitting the abuse was hard--I thought denying and burying it would take it away--I was wrong. I am happy you coming to terms with the abuse.

Please post as you feel, read others posts, we are all trying to heal and become whole. We travel the path to healing differently, for some it is venting and writing, for others it is reading and relating to how others are progressing. I have vented and ranted, when troubled, confused or looking for an answer in my writings. Sometimes they come quickly, other times it takes awhile.

You may want to consider other support groups, if available in you area, a therapist--but only you can decide what is right.

Take care and heal well--we are all here for you. We have traveled our own rocky pot holed road.

Kevin

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#465272 - 05/12/14 07:43 PM Re: It took over 40 years, but here I am (My Intro) [Re: SurvivingMe]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Hey Man: hold tight to what you have earned...what you have won...and all the good things you deserve and have. Hold on damned tight!
_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#465311 - 05/13/14 10:34 PM Re: It took over 40 years, but here I am (My Intro) [Re: SurvivingMe]
learning2luvme Offline


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 49
SurvivingMe,

What a great name and an even better introduction. We have a lot in common. I like how your name recognizes that we are our biggest enemies. You made a great first step in choosing your name. I applaud you for that.

I also admire your courage for taking control of your life. It certainly is a rather difficult and challenging journey. You have come to a great place. There is great wisdom and advice here.

One of the most important things I learned is that I first have to love myself which is always a challenge. I also learned that it takes a village to face this challenge. It is easier when others help carry the load. Lastly, be honest. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with your therapist or other mental health professionals. Be honest with your spouse and significant friends and others who can and will help you. No secrets. No shame. The more honest you are the quicker and easier the healing.

Your intro post shows you have taken the greatest and most significant step. Congratulations. Standing applause. This won't be easy but it will be worth it. Be strong. Be honest. Be safe.

Happy Healing,

L2LM

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#465507 - 05/19/14 07:45 PM Re: It took over 40 years, but here I am (My Intro) [Re: SurvivingMe]
SurvivingMe Offline


Registered: 04/09/14
Posts: 21
Loc: Texas
Once again, thanks for the welcomes and encouraging words everyone.

Kevin, Still, L2LM - I appreciate your thoughts.

L2LM, thanks for "getting" my name. It is a fact that my abusers messed me up at the time of the abuse, with lasting effects (I have discovered recently). But, the abusers are not part of my life anymore. On the other hand, I live with "me" everyday. That's where "the work" is now.

SM

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#465911 - 05/28/14 01:28 PM Re: It took over 40 years, but here I am (My Intro) [Re: SurvivingMe]
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 188
Loc: Canada
Hello SurvivingMe.

I am sorry for your reason to be here, but glad for you to have found and joined MS.

Your moniker could be the title for us all I think, yet that fact that we are all still here speaks to our resiliency as individuals.

If I may, I would like to alter your own observations to read...
1. I suffered sexual abuse as a child at the hands of others.
2. I was deeply affected by it, but it will not be forever.
3. I became aware of the tremendous impact this has had and does have on my life, and chose to do something to address this.

I don't mean to say that you are not correct, just want to show you that how we say things, understand things, has a huge impact on how we react emotionally. My rewrite above is written to absolve you of any responsibility you may feel for what was done to you.

You made no conscious choices that would suggest that you were responsible for the abuse you suffered. You are not to blame, it is not your fault, I believe you and you are worthy of support and empathy.

Take your time, and when you are ready speak your truth, if you so choose.
The MS community will be here to listen and contribute in whatever way we can.

Take care and keep well.
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

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