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#464606 - 04/26/14 03:48 PM Doctor/Patient Violation Mother Approved-my issues
Mike Boyd Offline


Registered: 04/23/14
Posts: 5
Loc: Florida
I'm new to this all but I came onto this forum to share my story. I'm not sure if anyone has been violated by the doctor but when I reached puberty and having mother in the exam room, the doctor would thoroughly examine my penis, I would get hard and ejaculate while mother watched.

When he spoke to my mother privately...he gave her brochures about puberty in teenage boys, masturbation...it was about 3-4 brochures he gave her. I never saw them again but ever since that time I was no longer to wear my pajamas around the house and was to wear my undies in the house and sleeping. Several times growing up my mother would do inspections on my body including my penis and the exams would continue while my mother in the exam room. This all happen when I was 12 thru 17 years of age and this took place back in the 70' into the 80's.

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#464608 - 04/26/14 05:11 PM Re: Doctor/Patient Violation Mother Approved-my issues [Re: Mike Boyd]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 761
Loc: michigan
Hi mike
I am sorry to hear of what happened. I hope you have come to understand that it was not your fault in any way man. I was molested by a guy in the hospital I was still drugged and cat say if it was a dr. or someone else but I have terrible issues with medical stuff still. your mother should have protected and instead added to your pain it should not have happened. I hope that you can find the support and help here that is available and begin to recover with a group of guys who really do get it.
be well
Jeff
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#464639 - 04/27/14 10:11 AM Re: Doctor/Patient Violation Mother Approved-my issues [Re: Mike Boyd]
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 187
Loc: Canada
Hey Mike,

I am sorry for your reason to be here, yet glad for you to have joined MS.

I can't say as I know if the situation you experienced is common or not, but either way it doesn't matter.
It is the experience that was forced upon you.
You did not choose it, you are not responsible.

I hope you can find the support and healing you need, and that the community here at MS can contribute to that.

Welcome and take care
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

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#464758 - 04/29/14 03:09 PM Re: Doctor/Patient Violation Mother Approved-my issues [Re: Mike Boyd]
Mike Boyd Offline


Registered: 04/23/14
Posts: 5
Loc: Florida
Thank you for your kind words. I'm pretty much a stable guy...but I do like going to doctors...I get freaked out and issues and my sex life is a bit off as an adult...but besides that..I have adjusted in my daily life.

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#464763 - 04/29/14 04:31 PM Re: Doctor/Patient Violation Mother Approved-my issues [Re: Mike Boyd]
learning2remember Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 261
Loc: Europe
There is no justification for the behaviour of your mother or the doctor. I'm sorry that happened to you.

My mother had me wear underwear instead of pajamas, too. I never thought much of it until I saw a movie once in which the guy was wearing the same kind of underwear (basic briefs) and I was shocked at how much was visible...basically everything. Mom watched me a lot when I was dressing.

There's no medical overlap with my story, but I've noticed it with several stories here, and I wonder if that is a particular pattern of mother-inflicted abuse: that the mother pretends there is a medical reason to be handling genitals, etc.

Again, this shouldn't have happened to you. I think you'll find a lot of understanding people here.
_________________________
"This is not my shame, this is their shame." Mona Eltahawy

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#464767 - 04/29/14 07:29 PM Re: Doctor/Patient Violation Mother Approved-my issues [Re: Mike Boyd]
Mike Boyd Offline


Registered: 04/23/14
Posts: 5
Loc: Florida
Hi learning...

I think all mothers are curious about the son's development. I had a female co-worker (she never new about my situation) she would come to work and our lunch break was at the same time and it was just both her and I.

She would ask me questions, her justification was that she was a single mom and the father is no where to be around.

She was telling me about her son going through puberty, and that he didn't want to wear deodorant and he had to start taking care of himself and how she should approach the situation.

The conversation with my co-worker started out simple but as she felt more comfortable she would tell me about how she would see his cum stains on his bed sheets and tissues laying around...he would get hard ons and that she once told me that when he was swimming, she couldn't believe how big his dick was getting.

I live in South Florida so many walk around half nude anyways and we go swimming all year round...so she got to see a lot of her son.

This is why my mother would eye me up & down.

So this doesn't surprise me...but why did your mother make you wear undies??? and did other mothers do this??

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#464782 - 04/29/14 09:37 PM Re: Doctor/Patient Violation Mother Approved-my issues [Re: Mike Boyd]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 761
Loc: michigan
my brothers and I always wore our underwear around the house as boys. it was my grandma that said something to me about NOT doing it. I was so embarrassed then I have never done it as an adult. I still sleep that way but I cant leave my room without getting dressed. even going out with a robe makes me uncomfortable. I guess either way it leaves its mark
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#464787 - 04/29/14 10:19 PM Re: Doctor/Patient Violation Mother Approved-my issues [Re: Mike Boyd]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3420
Loc: somewhere in Africa
at our house, it was the opposite. step-dad wanted me not to wear underwear (briefs) to bed under my PJs. loose PJs only - less confining for me and easier for him. he and my mom had an argument about it. he won. i lost.


Edited by traveler (04/30/14 11:27 AM)
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#464812 - 04/30/14 10:53 AM Re: Doctor/Patient Violation Mother Approved-my issues [Re: Mike Boyd]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 726
Loc: Southeast USA
Mike,

I'm sorry you had that experience growing up. While I didn't go through that in my household, I think there is something to the notion of parents---more specifically mothers so not knowing how to react when their boys reach puberty. I think that their sons' development leaves them uneasy--as in their little kid is becoming an untamed adolescent. I suspect it's worse for either the older, only, or youngest sons. I'm not implying something Oedipal---just that even in healthy mother-son relationships, she is curious, concerned, and scared of losing her son to the "tribe." Still, it in no way condones explicit or implicit violations of privacy, trust, or decency.

My only parallel to this is a series of awkward occurrences that happened when I was eleven.

First, I was pretty grungy after lacrosse practice and made the mistake of leaving my sweaty shoulder pads in my mom's car. The next day, the stench was awful. Mom made me scrub them down with a bleach solution. When I got back to my bedroom, there was a new stick of Right Guard on my dresser-no note or anything. That was her message to me. She never said a word to me about it.

Next, I moved into a new lacrosse age bracket that was more serious and required more of me. One new requirement---wearing a mandatory protective athletic cup. So…we went cup shopping--or rather she kept after me until I picked out one. That was extremely awkward because he kept asking questions and commenting about it. "Does it fit?" "Do you need a larger size?" "Is it comfortable?" Ugh.

Finally, that same summer, I visited the beach with my grandparents and several cousins (male and female). Each morning I walked out of the bedroom and out to the back porch for breakfast wearing just a pair of tighty-whities. I got funny looks from my grandmother…and on the third day of doing that she took me aside and said I needed to wear some clothes since there were ladies present…meaning my female cousins and herself of course. She said I didn't need to show off that I was growing up---becoming a man, or something like that.

WTF!!

Will
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#465077 - 05/08/14 12:30 AM Re: Doctor/Patient Violation Mother Approved-my issues [Re: Mike Boyd]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3351
Loc: O Kanada
welcome to ms.org, Mike.

my heart goes out to you, and i hope you find comfort and support here,
as you share with us.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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