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#464350 - 04/21/14 05:54 PM Old skeletons..lots of cobwebs
Ken2 Offline


Registered: 04/21/14
Posts: 3
Loc: NH US
Hi everyone. My first post and intro.

-I'm close to 60 and my abuses were over 45 years ago. For many years I thought I was past or over them. Guess I'm not. The skeletons in my closet have been buried for a long time and are now covered by years of cobwebs. I guess its time to start cleaning house. Looks like a good place to do it.
-Going to do some more reading for now. Will write more real soon.


Edited by Ken2 (04/21/14 06:00 PM)
Edit Reason: grammar

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#464352 - 04/21/14 06:25 PM Re: Old skeletons..lots of cobwebs [Re: Ken2]
I Want 2 Thrive Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/04/14
Posts: 79
Loc: Florida, U.S.A
Welcome Ken

You have a lot of brothers here.

-Izzy

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#464353 - 04/21/14 06:41 PM Re: Old skeletons..lots of cobwebs [Re: Ken2]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 149
Loc: Chicago
Welcome, Ken. -Nick

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#464355 - 04/21/14 06:59 PM Re: Old skeletons..lots of cobwebs [Re: Ken2]
Ken2 Offline


Registered: 04/21/14
Posts: 3
Loc: NH US
Thanks for the welcomes! smile

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#464361 - 04/21/14 08:35 PM Re: Old skeletons..lots of cobwebs [Re: Ken2]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1564
Ken

Welcome--I am sorry you have to be here. Many of us buried the abuse for decades and out of nowhere many of us are overcome by the past.

Take you time, when you are ready to share we are here. We are nonjudgmental and understand what you are dealing with today. Burying the past--sounds simple but it is not, it eats at you when you do not realize. Letting it out helps to purge the negative feelings.

Thank you for coming to MS and we are here for you.

Kevin

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#464369 - 04/21/14 10:00 PM Re: Old skeletons..lots of cobwebs [Re: Ken2]
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 187
Loc: Canada
Hello Ken,

I am sorry for your reason to be here, but also glad for you to have found MS.

You'll find many of us who also waited decades to finally address our past, and it's effect on us.
There is no time like the present.

I would suggest however that what happened to you was not your abuses, you did not do it, you are not responsible.
What was done to you, someone chose to do.

Clearing out the cobwebs is a great analogy, I like that, well said.

Welcome, take care, and when you're ready, speak your truth.
The MS community will be there to support you in whatever way they can.
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

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#464405 - 04/22/14 01:56 PM Re: Old skeletons..lots of cobwebs [Re: Ken2]
Ken2 Offline


Registered: 04/21/14
Posts: 3
Loc: NH US
Thanks for all the replies and pms. I know I have my work cut out for me. I have accumulated years of therapy however little if any about the sexual abuses I went through. The most recent counselor I saw was the first time I attempted to open that door. I was promptly told that she had no training in this area and was not comfortable going there. I thanked her for her honesty. I did check here and the nearest therapist listed is 3 hours away.

-I have always been one of those "nice guys " that was always calm in stressful situations and always had a good ear and shoulder for anyone that needed it. As many here know I'm sure, what its like to help all others with a smile yet thinking to yourself (but what about me?). Any I will start in the proper area soon.

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#464580 - 04/25/14 09:27 PM Re: Old skeletons..lots of cobwebs [Re: Ken2]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1489
Loc: New England
Dear Ken,

As others have said, many of us are in middle age and just beguinning to deal with things that happened to us 40-50 years ago. Its a challenge but you are not alone in this. Finding a therapist with the neccessary skills is a challenge in itself.

Psychology Today has a search engine for finding therapists in your area: Psychology Today Therapist Search I found my therapist this way. Put in your zip code and you will get a list of therapists in your immediate area. You can narrow or broaden your search with the menu on the left side of the page. For example: Under "Issues" I selected "Sexual Abuse" and "Trauma & PTSD"; then under "Broaden Your Search" you can expand the geography that you are looking at.

Good Luck Brother,

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#464585 - 04/25/14 10:54 PM Re: Old skeletons..lots of cobwebs [Re: Ken2]
Jay1946 Offline


Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Miami, Florida, USA
Dear Ken:

Sorry for the reason you're here, but welcome.

I recalled my abuse 57 years after it happened! I had gone through therapy on several periods over my life and it never came up. I guess I was not ready to face the memories yet. I experienced dissociation at the moment of the sexual abuse followed by "Betrayal Trauma" that buried the memory so I could continue to function. I was nine years old at the time.
_________________________
Jay

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#465076 - 05/08/14 12:26 AM Re: Old skeletons..lots of cobwebs [Re: Ken2]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3106
Loc: O Kanada
welcome to our corner of the world wide cobweb.
beware of spiders wink

hopefully, you will find some light here to bring back to your closet.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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