While I've only been to his events, and nit the wor it is my understanding they are much less rigid. This may be a good option. It's about building trust within the small group with less T interaction and. Guiding.
Jeff, if I may.
Some way you "need" to share, but at thre same time establish and maintain boundries of not looking for another threat...allow her to emphasize and get a foot in the game without you having to give out the details.
While my wife didn't want to go....in previous joint T sessions we were able to establish trust and a partnership in this...part in part by her seeing/knowing I have a group of people to bring my dark shit to, and she didn't have to have that stress.
We outlined what she could and does participate in, but sometimes and it's ok to say that a topic has to go to my support group, is better handled there and we minimize her pressure to understand what she can't.
Just thoughts, buddy.
My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.