The "Seeds" or "Keys" of Hope
MaleSurvivor believes that there are 3 necessary elements that make healing from many kinds of abuse and trauma possible: Hope, Healing, & Support. Each term means something specific within the context of recovery. Hope means the knowledge that a survivor is not alone, and that recover is possible. Healing is the proactive effort to commit to doing the hard work of healing. And Support is both the professional and personal support survivors need from others that helps recharge and encourage us.
Many people struggle with knowing what to say to survivors, especially when a survivor is just beginning to disclose. For survivors, it can be frustrating to hear that hope is possible while they continue to struggle with painful memories and feelings. For healing partners, it is often stressful to feel like they don’t know how to respond when a survivor shares with them. To address these issues, MaleSurvivor staff developed these "seed" or "key" messages of hope that are intended to give supporters some guide for helpful things to say, and to give survivors important reminders that they can hold onto when they are feeling frustrated, sad, or otherwise in a negative space.
The 4 “Seeds” or “Keys”:
1. You are not alone.
2. The abuse was not your fault.
3. It is possible to heal.
4. It is never too late.
Far from being the "right" thing to say (there is no such thing, sadly), these messages are key points that, for many survivors, are important to hear over and over again. It is very likely that the message may take time to sink in, but over time and repetition, the message that healing is possible can take root.