The "Seeds" or "Keys" of Hope
Many people struggle with knowing what to say to survivors, especially when a survivor is just beginning to disclose. For survivors, it can be frustrating to hear that hope is possible while they continue to struggle with painful memories and feelings. For healing partners, it is often stressful to feel like they don’t know how to respond when a survivor shares with them.
MaleSurvivor believes that there are 3 necessary elements that make healing from many kinds of abuse and trauma possible: Hope, Healing, & Support. Each term means something specific within the context of recovery. Hope
means the knowledge that a survivor is not alone, and that recovery is possible. Healing
is the proactive effort to commit to doing the hard work of healing. And Support
is both the professional and personal support survivors need from others that helps recharge and encourage us.
As a way of helping give people a suggestion for how we can better respond to a disclosure from a survivor, MaleSurvivor staff developed these "seed" or "key" messages of hope that are intended to give others some suggestions for what they can say to a survivor that can empower survivors who disclose, and also to give survivors important reminders that they can hold onto when they are feeling frustrated, sad, or otherwise in a negative space.
The 4 “Seeds” or “Keys”:
1. You are not alone.
2. The abuse was not your fault.
3. It is possible to heal.
4. It is never too late.
Far from being the "right" thing to say (there is no such thing, sadly), these messages are key points that, for many survivors, are important to hear over and over again. It is very likely that the message may take time to sink in, but over time and repetition, the message that healing is possible can take root.As many of you know, MaleSurvivor provides many world-class resources like this website and discussion forum community to men who have been sexually abused and their loved ones free of charge. Every year over 100,000 users come to this website, accessing more than 2 million pages of content.
If the information in this post, or anything here on the website, has been helpful to you, please make a donation to MaleSurvivor today. If everyone who read this post made just one $10 donation, MaleSurvivor's financial future would be solidified for years to come.