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#464335 - 04/21/14 12:36 PM ....and I can still be an ass!
On The Fringe Offline


Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
It has been a great year so far! I feel like this site has helped me quite a bit. Of course this site really means the great people here.

On thing that really jumped out at me was the idea to not look for my CSA under every rock I kick over. It may not be part of every situation.

I have taken that to heart. Taking an honest look at some situations, I find that I can be selfish. I can be manipulative. I can lose my cool where I should not.

Some would say that is from the damage of CSA. Maybe? But right now today, I am looking at conventional ways of dealing with the normal problems normal people have.

It is helpful in a few ways to see myself as normal. I don't perpetuate the idea that I am uniquely damaged. Lots of people have thi vs to get over. I do feel like I am over most of the abuse effects anyways.

It helps me connect to others. I am just like everybody else that has a garden variety bad day. No need to get all worried about some sort of mental meltdown. It will be ok.

Opening up to other normal people helps me learn to relate to people in general.

And with all of that said, instill have my defects of character I like! I think sometimes I am just a bit selfish by nature. I can't be a saint. I don't even want to be. I'm learning that it is ok. It isn't unresolved CSA issues.

Opinions are like..... Everybody has them. Sometimes I am one. I'm cool with that as a normal person living a normal life.

Somewhat anticlimactic. I used to think, if I could just be normal...

Ha!

Random rambling has concluded.
_________________________
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

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#464411 - 04/22/14 02:30 PM Re: ....and I can still be an ass! [Re: On The Fringe]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 278
I am glad you are so positive and up. None of us is perfect we are only people and people only have perfect intentions.
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#464498 - 04/24/14 12:19 PM Re: ....and I can still be an ass! [Re: jas4159]
On The Fringe Offline


Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
Originally Posted By: jas4159
I am glad you are so positive and up. None of us is perfect we are only people and people only have perfect intentions.


It really is a positive for me personally. I used to feel not good enough. I was a people pleaser.

Now I realize I have faults, and am like most normal people, I am ok with it.

It feels like the difference between never being good enough, and now I am good enough, just with a few things to work on.

I never had any idea how deep the CSA false guilt went. I'm free to be imperfect.
_________________________
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

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