I had many of the same feelings. I always believed I would take this secret to the grave. I also thought I could control the secret and the past, but in reality I learned it was controlling a part of me, causing so much internal conflict and struggle. It took some time to speak of the abuse, slowly I began to tell what happened, the big brown door haunted me, I was seeing it everywhere. It was the door to the cellar where the priest would take me.
Over time, sharing my story with the T, doctors, support groups, friends helped me to heal. I learned there are those who are not there to support or listen, so please accept this, I did not and it only caused more harm to me.
You attitude is positive and you will know when you feel safe and comfortable to share. I wish you well and I hope this is the beginning of unburdening yourself of abuse that should never had been, but it is part of your reality and past.