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#463394 - 03/29/14 11:04 PM Dottie on the offensive.
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Dottie Sandusky.

"I trust my husband," she said. "That's what the world is about today. People don't trust anybody. And all these young kids, all they think about is sex."

She has a new interview published. I found her to be a major irritant and trigger for me this time. If you would like to see how her view has not changed, follow the link.

Dottie Sandusky…. again
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#463397 - 03/30/14 12:04 AM Re: Dottie on the offensive. [Re: ThisMan]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1305
I have such mixed feelings about this. I completely disagree with her. She is defending the indefensible. She earlier said she was doing this for her kids - yet she is willing to sell these other kids - including one of her own sons - so quickly down the river. That inconsistency is just weird.

But... I just could never imagine being her. What a special hell that must be. I think that the media just smells a circus here, when really she should be sharing this with a therapist and trying to work through this mess privately.

She said she never knew what was happening in that basement. Many people laugh at that. But when Jerry molested those kids, they weren't his only victims. Dottie is one, too. How many of us as victims went back to our molester, defended our molester's secrets? I'm not defending Dottie. But I cannot help but wonder if she cannot see reality because she could not bear to look at it. That should resonate a little with survivors.

I was abused in our basement and the basement of my molester (he lived next door) many times while hearing footsteps of our respective mothers on the floor above us. My molester was just like Sandusky in so many ways - he was molesting a LOT of kids in those basements. When I finally told my mom many years later, she was crushed. She. Never. Knew. These guys are just that smooth. It bothers me that people laugh about Dottie not knowing. It makes me wonder what they could be missing. That kid they don't see was me.
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#463433 - 03/30/14 06:50 PM Re: Dottie on the offensive. [Re: ThisMan]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Good thoughts, Eirik. Thanks for sharing them and your story always makes me wish to send you a hug or a smile… so… (((hug))) today.

I understand how some can think she is a product of her generation, of her time (and she is), and how she was manipulated by her husband. And it is obvious the media is using her for an enlarged audience while the lawyers are playing her to influence the arena of public opinion before the appeal date. But isn't this what should be expected if someone chooses to remain in the dark regarding crimes against children.

Maybe my dislike of the simple, victimized attitude (granted, my perception) comes from the fact that in my situation I was discovered. The crime was SEEN. People knew what had been done to me at the earliest age. THEY SAW HIM IN THE ACT. DIRECTING AND PARTICIPATING. And, sadly, to my knowledge nothing was done other than access to me a few years later. My parents never mentioned it again, other than one time when mother asked what he did. And no one asked what he did a few years later. So although she says she didn't know, guess what? She knows now and still she is attacking the victims, angry at the young boys for being raped and abused.

All I know is that people knew and I was still victimized. So her arguments in support of her husband, knowing what he has done, knowing the children were in the showers with him, in the basement with him, doing over-nighters with him … trigger me in ways that are very uncomfortable for me. I suppose also that it is unresolved anger at the adults in my life.

I can't excuse her or overlook her. She is representative of a society that turns away from the obvious and chooses not to believe the ugly truth of how pervasive CSA is in our nation at all levels of our society.

I wonder also how much attention she would get, how much influence she would be expected to have, if she worked at a big box store and lived in a trailer park. I have a feeling it would be zero, even if her husband were innocent.


Edited by ThisMan (03/30/14 06:54 PM)
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#463593 - 04/03/14 02:52 AM Re: Dottie on the offensive. [Re: ThisMan]
ShortedDiode Offline


Registered: 11/26/11
Posts: 97
Loc: Hamilton, ON Canada
The basement issue with Sandusky has been bothering me since I first heard about it. My first perp lived in the basement of his elderly parents' house. Besides his parents, his sister lived there too. She was extremely obese and lived on the main floor because of the mobility problems imposed by that. Ever since it came out that there were other victims who were abused in the basement, I've wondered if any of the others living there knew what was happening. I know the sister couldn't get to any of the other levels of the house including the basement because of her mobility problems. I don't know how often his parents went down there. But with three other people in the house when some of the other victims were abused, did any of them know what was going on down there? Or did they truly have no idea? The same questions apply to Sandusky's family. I really hope my perp's family had no idea because if they did and they ignored it would only break my heart more.
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#463623 - 04/03/14 05:08 PM Re: Dottie on the offensive. [Re: ThisMan]
pete1973 Offline


Registered: 01/02/14
Posts: 41
Loc: Ontario, Canada
ShortedDiode I can relate. My first perp lived with his elderly mother, he was 42 so she was at least in her 60's and for 8 months I went there every Thursday to collect for the paper and every Thursday until the last one the elderly lady answered the door, never let me in, never tipped, had everything ready and I was there and gone in under a minute. He apparently lived there all along and I never seen him until that Thursday when she wasn't home and he took that opportunity to lure me inside and abuse me. The next day my father brought the paper to her door trying to avoid being seen or heard and she came out yelling at me, calling me a fucking liar claiming she was home the entire time and I was never in there and he did nothing. I have since learned that he was previously up on charges for molesting 2 young girls on a boat but the parents dropped the charges and moved away because they were embarrassed. If they would have done the right thing and followed through with the charges he may have never had the chance to hurt me but at least the piece of shit killed himself because I didn't keep his secret and told an adult and he was charged.
I hate him even though he has been dead for almost 30 years and as bad as it may sound I hope his bitch of a mother suffered long and hard like I have for what he did to me and she seemed to have allowed. I can never forgive and forget and I turned down going to a Christian college because of this, call me biased or whatever you want, I am glad the piece of shit is dead and I wish all of these sick pigs that molest prepubescent children would die a painful death.
Sorry for the rant but it felt good to say it.

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