It is a crazy chain of events sometimes......
H was abused when he was 8 so when he got older he was very intolerant of anyone picking on/bullying anyone smaller than they were. He was very athletic so he became a quasi-bodyguard to the picked on kids at school. Part of him was trying to right an injustice and (I suspect) part of him wanted to take his anger out on someone who seemingly deserved it.
So......fast forward 30 YEARS and (last night) he gets a friend request and is chatting with someone from high school. I happen to know this person as well and NEVER expected what was going to come flying across that screen!
This guy was small for his age, kind of feminine and (in a redneck small town) this made him a target. I never knew this since I knew him when he was older, but, H knew him back in those days. So, H stuck up for him a few times and just figured it was a friendly act. You know, H was all like 'you pick on my little buddy and I break your face' - that kind of stuff.
So his little buddy there gets in touch with him last night and just laid it out that H had totally changed his life. Apparently, this guy was very unhappy and unsure of himself and having H as a friend who would back him up in a jam gave him confidence. According to him - H "Changed his life" and H gave him "The confidence that has made me who I am today." .....holy crap!
There was a bunch more but honestly I about fell off my chair and H had a little tear in his eye so I don't remember everything. It was very nice to hear though. I'm glad that guy said what he said. It takes some of the darkness out of the CSA.
Obviously the guy doesn't know what was motivating H but I don't think that matters. It's a good lesson.
I think back to H's suicide attempt (and it was a good one, he coded and was revived) and how much he almost missed, and how that was how I was able to get him the help he needed (in-patient).....and how with his recovery and all the ups and down, these wonderful little things happen. Don't get me wrong....some days I just want to punch him in the face - but I don't......and so the course is stayed and life moves forward.
Stay on the recovery course boys - you never know what wonderful things are coming.