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#462435 - 03/12/14 12:04 AM Jerry Sandusky’s wife: He misses grandkids, friend
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Sandusky's wife tearful interview clip

Triggering.

Angering.

Revictimizing.

Sensationalizing.

The full interview will be aired on the Today show.

Wish someone would interview me. I would like the chance to express the things my CSA and ASA have caused me to miss.
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#462438 - 03/12/14 12:26 AM Re: Jerry Sandusky’s wife: He misses grandkids, friend [Re: ThisMan]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Most interesting.

I've read Aaron Fisher's book (Silent No More). The book was interesting and worthwhile reading. He goes into grooming and the great grief he experienced as the revelation widened.

I found it interesting how Sandusky's wife never went into the basement. Apparently she wasn't allowed in the basement. She apparently was not allowed to question a lot of things. It's interesting how the perp constructed invisible walls and boundaries around his victims and all those around him.

http://www.amazon.com/Silent-No-More-Justice-Sandusky-ebook/dp/B009JU6UCO/

Puffer


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#462441 - 03/12/14 01:14 AM Re: Jerry Sandusky’s wife: He misses grandkids, friend [Re: pufferfish]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1447
The crime grew to its incredible dimensions because it had an equally incredible cast of enablers, from Dottie Sandusky to Mike McQuery to Joe Paterno to Curly, Schultz and Spanier. Even Jerry's adopted son averted his eyes to it until he decided he no longer could. It will be interesting to see that interview. I am convinced that the single most abetting factor in serial child abuse cases is the failure of those who see it to try to stop it. That was a factor in my own history. I hope the media addresses that dynamic in their interview. But they'll probably just go for provocation over enlightenment (sigh)...
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#463398 - 03/30/14 12:46 AM Re: Jerry Sandusky’s wife: He misses grandkids, friend [Re: ThisMan]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 825
Loc: Ohio
Dottie and the whole Pedophile State University cabal are still the poster children for enablers of abuse.
_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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#463403 - 03/30/14 07:22 AM Re: Jerry Sandusky’s wife: He misses grandkids, friend [Re: ThisMan]
KMCINVA Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1753
What the ****. Had a wonderful night, up early for morning appointments and decided to check in. And to awake up and see this enabler continuing to attempt to vindicate a pedophile is beyond my comprehension. I had to contain myself so as not to wake another. When will her denial of the damage done to the children end. Even her own son was a victim of this evil man. People like this infuriate me, ignorance is bliss amongst those that turn their backs to people who suffered as children at the hands of these monsters. Why does the press give her the time of day? They should be out there educating people about CSA as well as the damage it does to the victim and collateral damage to people around the victim.

He misses the grandkids and friends--why would she even think her grandkids would be safe from him? I just do not get it. Just my immediate reaction to this bulls**t from this woman.

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#463425 - 03/30/14 03:56 PM Re: Jerry Sandusky’s wife: He misses grandkids, friend [Re: ThisMan]
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 188
Loc: Canada
I feel badly for Dottie.
She is of a time when someone didn't question their spouse, just completely and fully accepted them.
They did not look for faults, and of course never saw them.
The level of complete trust she shows in her husband is baffling for us, but it is the world she has been immersed in the majority of her life.The role she sees and has seen for herself for as long as she can remember.
People don't give up their reality easily, as we all are likely intimately aware.

I read that she did not really grasp the trouble her husband was in until the day of sentencing.
That is nothing more than denial, in my opinion, and again something I find very familiar.
Is she an enabler, yes of course, but I would not hold much if any anger or contempt for her, she was victimized by her husband as much as the children he abused, just in a much different way.
I empathize with the fact that she finds herself lost and likely very alone now, and she has not yet grasped the truth that put her in this position.
It is sad that she couldn't or wouldn't question him and the walls he put up to protect himself.
If she had, there would likely be fewer abused boys in Pennsylvania.
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

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#463448 - 03/30/14 11:15 PM Re: Jerry Sandusky’s wife: He misses grandkids, friend [Re: Adam A Gedman]
KMCINVA Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1753
I am not in the same camp. I find it hard to believe with the number of boys abused she did not know. I look back at my own abuse and believe others had to know--because the housekeeper and others would be in the sacristy while we were in the cellar. Was I silenced so they could not hear--I do not believe so. But as has been said, many turn a blind eye to what is happening around them to avoid involvement. Was she a victim--not in the same way her own son was a victim.

I also believe Dottie's actions of denial has followed her throughout life--I know when I told of my abuse I was met by some with denial and disbelief, I was also met with those that enabled the abuse to take over--but denial governs their lives. Denial of CSA by others is to protect themselves from culpability for the abuse and raising the past to the present. It is societal as well as familial.

It was said Dottie was, her belief and upbringing, to protect her husband. It is no different than a parent trying to protect a child from their actions--but is said it is parental love. In both situations, it is damaging to the one being protected because there is no consequence for their actions as well as the victims or those being inflicted with pain. That is not love, because love is affection based on admiration, benevolence. To admire for destructive behavior is not love but rather self servicing. Dottie is protecting Sandusky and herself--because if she was to admit the truth she would feel like a worthless wife, like many a parent would feel like a worthless parent to admit hiding a child's destructive acts.

I believe this sense of protection is to protect oneself from the truth-I did if for 45 years plus, hiding and burying the abuse, and look at the results. Years of healing and reclaiming my life--years of hurt and devaluing myself.

I do feel bad for Dottie, but only because she cannot face the devastation done to those boys. I feel sad for the boys. I hope one day Dottie faces the past so she does not self destruct. I also believe her admission would help those boys heal. Too many have been given passes for being abusers, knowing of the abuse and later in life not believing in the abuse. No more passes because the child and adult survivor will suffer for a lifetime.

Kevin


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#463507 - 03/31/14 10:44 PM Re: Jerry Sandusky’s wife: He misses grandkids, friend [Re: KMCINVA]
pufferfish Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
It would be good if Sandusky could realize that what he did hurt everybody around him: The boys he abused, His wife & family, the University and the team, his community and state of PA, etc. He's still thinking only of himself.

Puffer

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#463510 - 03/31/14 11:53 PM Re: Jerry Sandusky’s wife: He misses grandkids, friend [Re: pufferfish]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1447
Originally Posted By: pufferfish
It would be good if Sandusky could realize that what he did hurt everybody around him: The boys he abused, His wife & family, the University and the team, his community and state of PA, etc. He's still thinking only of himself.

Very true, Puffer. But confronting oneself with such overwhelming culpability would kill most any decent man. A decent man wouldn't survive it. Not that Jerry shouldn't try anyways.
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Eirik




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