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#463847 - 04/08/14 11:14 AM Re: A Writing Project, Journals & Introspection [Re: concerned_husky]
JayBro Offline


Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 308
Loc: Germany
KMCINVA- wow!! I read your post yesterday, and it felt like I was reading an excerpt from a motivational, inspiring book!! That is absolutely so beautiful and I am glad you shared that with us! I feel humbled! I have been thinking about what you wrote a lot these past 24 hours and I still don't know what to say. Just that it really moved me and I am happy for you and your wife to have shared that experience. I was also able to vividly imagine the experiences in Europe you described. Isn't life beautiful? We are ABSOLUTELY more than our abuse- and we should never forget that!!

And thank you Husky!! HUGS It is only 4 pages, but was much longer before! I am passing around to my close friends and my therapist to read over before I send it in to the support centre where I go to which is collecting stories of peoples' experiences with trauma to get them published.
BTW you mentioned that you struggled with gambling- are there support services for that where you are? I noticed that the subways and buses I ride everyday are running an ad campaign for last few months for support services for gambling addictions. It's everywhere!!
_________________________
,,Nun ging es immerzu, weit, weit bis an der Welt Ende."

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#463848 - 04/08/14 11:52 AM Re: A Writing Project, Journals & Introspection [Re: concerned_husky]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 2247
Jaybro

Thank you for the kind words. I feel inspired by many around me,included those here at MS. It takes feeling good about yourself, being appreciated and encouraged to heal. I feel safe these days, I no longer fear words or actions of others, I have removed myself from having to face. Triggers are less and less these days, I can prepare myself and have learned how to cope differently.

I have learned on this healing journey that people are people and I like to believe most are loving, kind and compassionate--because I have met so many as I healed. There will always be people that bring harm to others, reflect their own pain and issues on to others to hide from their own truths. But for me I have learned to walk away or hold at bay those that continue to hurt. I know I have hurt others and I am sorry for all hurt I may have inflicted, others can never say they were wrong or sorry.

I have been sharing with a special friend my past and she has given support. She has been instrumental in my healing. She listens and is non judgmental, she understands trauma and has lived a life where she has witnessed more than most. My wife, now former wife are no longer. The trials and tribulations of CSA, PTSD and other issues created a divide too great to mend. Despite what I have lived, today I am feeling whole and wish everyone a good life. I have learned to judge others is not my role, because I do not know the pain and scars they carry within. I have also learned asking for help and recognizing your past and issues is a sign of strength and not weakness. It is easier to hide and deny until the day comes when the past takes control.

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#463852 - 04/08/14 01:13 PM Re: A Writing Project, Journals & Introspection [Re: concerned_husky]
JayBro Offline


Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 308
Loc: Germany
Fantastic news!!! I think I know very much of what you are talking about, and it is like I am reading a page from my own "book" wink
So happy for you, my friend!
_________________________
,,Nun ging es immerzu, weit, weit bis an der Welt Ende."

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#464932 - 05/04/14 12:17 PM Re: A Writing Project, Journals & Introspection [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 702
.


Edited by concerned_husky (Yesterday at 12:06 PM)
Edit Reason: Walls up again.

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#464945 - 05/04/14 04:10 PM Re: A Writing Project, Journals & Introspection [Re: concerned_husky]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1007
Loc: Southeast USA
Husky,

Because I've revisited old journals of my own, I won't mince words here. Tread very carefully with the past. Treat it like an inoculation. Take just enough of the pathogen to build up a resistance, but not so much that it makes you ill.

That said, it isn't an approach for everyone since you are dealing with the past which is immutable and a source of continued pain and frustration if you are not careful. It's a fine line to walk. I've found re-reading journals to be very helpful, but only when balanced with an appreciation of what DID go well, and the untapped potential of the future---whether it is two hours, two weeks, or twenty years forward.

Be careful. Be kind to yourself. Be well.

Will
_________________________
I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made. ---FDR

I AM

Cruel Summer
My Journal

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#464951 - 05/04/14 07:01 PM Re: A Writing Project, Journals & Introspection [Re: concerned_husky]
PhoenixRising Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/07
Posts: 73
Husky

Have just read this part of the thread, but it struck a chord because I am also writing two separate pieces, a play and a book, and finding that as I write, many difficult feelings come up that I might have thought were gone. My writings tend to also be revelatory, and they unearth much that is unresolved.
I echo what Suwanee says, in that when I move too quickly, I get overwhelmed. I think I could liken it sometimes to when you redress a wound, you know take the gauze off, and underneath the wound has not healed yet. It is slow, and can be painful, but if one is to keep the dressing clean, it must be done. Eventually the wound can be open to air.
My thoughts would be too find allies this time as you enter this material, that you indeed are not alone, and be gentle. Be loving. It is the vulnerable the child that enters, I believe.

Steve
_________________________
Alone, we are isolated, open to persecution, abuse, violence and our own pain. Together, we are a powerful force of men, who have, despite any reason to tell us otherwise, remained with some particle of hope, some seed of a compassionate world..together we are undeniably strong..and they know that.

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#464953 - 05/04/14 09:24 PM Re: A Writing Project, Journals & Introspection [Re: concerned_husky]
focusedbody Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 428
Loc: NY
Originally Posted By: concerned_husky
I'm wondering how the hell I came out in one piece, alive...


This is probably a good starting place for a memoir or reflection. Knowing what has kept us ticking is authentic, real and probably indicative of deeper resources that are struggling to be heard and expressed.

Hope you can continue to find help for that which is healthy within.

FB
_________________________
Lose the drama; life is a poem.

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#465021 - 05/06/14 02:17 PM Re: A Writing Project, Journals & Introspection [Re: concerned_husky]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 975
Loc: southern California
Husky,
Reading your thoughts here I'd say you are not "troubled and damaged" as you say, but healed with war wounds (scars).

Think about it. Every motion picture warrior has been depicted with at least one trademark scar. From Hercules and Conan the Warrior to Stallone's Rocky. Even the G.I. Joe action figure was introduced with a war scar on his cheek. It makes you interesting. It is the mark of one who survived an intensely threatening situation.

Please keep us posted on the novel; you have a battalion of survivors here cheering you on.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#465044 - 05/07/14 07:40 AM Re: A Writing Project, Journals & Introspection [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 702
.


Edited by concerned_husky (Yesterday at 12:06 PM)
Edit Reason: Walls up again.

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