You say, "I am not a hero." We are all of us, whether we believe it or not, heroes. Why? Because each and every day, we get out of bed and go slogging through our lives, no matter how crappy we feel. I am in awe of the men at this site - all of you give me the heart to keep on truckin' instead of throwing in the towel. I once tried it; obviously I'm still here and am I glad I didn't succeed.
You and ONLY you, have the right to decide what's best for you. Revenge, forgiveness, prosecution - these are things that no one else has the right to pressure you on. They don't live in your skin, they don't know what's best for you. You're the expert on you, no one else.
I often doubt myself; one of the most precious gifts that the perps robbed me of is the ability to trust my own perceptions. Really, I'm the only one who knows what will help me to heal. Trust yourself, my friend. Other than that, I will give no advice. But know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and whatever you do, you have my respect, admiration, and support.
To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive. - Robert Louis Stevenson