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#463163 - 03/25/14 06:51 PM Were any of you tortured? Trigger warning
PerseveringDaily Offline


Registered: 02/12/14
Posts: 4
Loc: California, USA
I just want to hear from thhose who were tortured and manipulated and brainwashed in addition to the molestation/rape.

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#463176 - 03/25/14 10:42 PM Re: Were any of you tortured? Trigger warning [Re: PerseveringDaily]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 975
Loc: southern California
Yes, I was. The sexual assault was secondary to the torture. My father and his friend restrained my sister and me and laughed at our agony while they tortured us. Then they raped us or penetrated us with tools from the toolbox they kept at hand. They did this nearly every Saturday afternoon from the time I could recall (around 3 and half years old) until I was near 6. The attacks continued, but they changed to mostly torture with a sexual component to them.
My father used religious indoctrination as a tool to control every part of our minds. He often referred to the story of Abraham and Isaac, when the father laid his son on the altar to sacrifice him to God. He quoted scriptures about the man being the head of the house, that children should obey their parents regardless of the order, and that Christians should suffer in silence and turn the other cheek. Our church's doctrine (Pentecostal/evangelical) facilitated the assaults and empowered the attackers.
Just for laughs, my father attempted to perform surgery on my foot with a pocket knife. He tried to set me up to get drowned in a rushing river. One time, he ran over my foot with a car. When he had a bad day, he would beat me until I couldn't stand or walk.
He is a very very sick person, and so was his friend. Were you tortured as well?
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#463177 - 03/25/14 11:00 PM Re: Were any of you tortured? Trigger warning [Re: WriterKeith]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1715
Keith, I am so sorry. But I am impressed with your strength and resiliency.
_________________________
Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#463180 - 03/26/14 12:05 AM Re: Were any of you tortured? Trigger warning [Re: PerseveringDaily]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: PerseveringDaily
I just want to hear from thhose who were tortured and manipulated and brainwashed in addition to the molestation/rape.


Yes.

Pufferfish story part 5

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...9028#Post219028

Don't read it casually. It's triggering and depressing. But how was it to go through it???

I know there are others, but it's not for me to say right now.

Puffer


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#463187 - 03/26/14 04:14 AM Re: Were any of you tortured? Trigger warning [Re: PerseveringDaily]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 975
Loc: southern California
Puffer, your story both hurts and helps to read. Those pictures....I look at them and wonder who on earth could look at that boy and want to hurt him? I think the same when I see a photo of myself as a boy. I guess the answer is, "a sick monster would."
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#463188 - 03/26/14 04:22 AM Re: Were any of you tortured? Trigger warning [Re: Chase Eric]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 975
Loc: southern California
Thanks, Eric, although I owe much of my strength to our group here on MS. There really is strength in numbers, even if we're just reading them online. I see there are over 12,000 here on MS.org now.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#463198 - 03/26/14 08:08 AM Re: Were any of you tortured? Trigger warning [Re: PerseveringDaily]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 921
Loc: New York
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#463212 - 03/26/14 12:40 PM Re: Were any of you tortured? Trigger warning [Re: SoccerStar]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
There is a thread called "Kidnap Survival". Many of the posters there have been tortured.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...true#Post462462

Puffer

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#463223 - 03/26/14 04:00 PM Re: Were any of you tortured? Trigger warning [Re: WriterKeith]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: WriterKeith
Puffer, your story both hurts and helps to read. Those pictures....I look at them and wonder who on earth could look at that boy and want to hurt him? I think the same when I see a photo of myself as a boy. I guess the answer is, "a sick monster would."


I found a quotation in a reputable book about this*. It is talking about torture as used in interrogation. I think that what I endured was possibly explained in terms of perfecting techniques which could be applied to interrogation.

Originally Posted By: Alfred W. McCoy page 9

Victims often need extensive treatment to recover from injury far more crippling than mere physical pain. Perpetrators can suffer a dangerous expansion of ego, leading to escalating cruelty and lasting emotional disorders. Though any ordinary man or woman can be trained to torture, every gulag has a few masters who take to the task with sadistic flair -- abhorred by their victims and valued by their superiors.


I'm not sure whether the lasting emotional disorders referred to here are those of the perpetrator or the victim.

He goes on...
Originally Posted By: McCoy page 9

Applied under the pressure of actual field operations after 1963, psychological methods soon gave way to unimaginable cruelties, physical and sexual, by individual perpetrators whose improvisations, plumbing the human capacity for brutality, are often horrifying.


More:
Originally Posted By: McCoy page 9

Why, one might ask, is psychological torture so devastating, inflicting harm that is often more lasting than even the most brutal form of physical abuse?
...
victims suffer "a mistrust bordering on paranoia, and a loss of interest that greatly surpasses anything observed in anxiety disorders."
...
The subject...remains a tired human being, relatively uninterested and unable to concentrate.


I don't think that in my case I demonstrate all of these symptoms. I went on to graduate from college and graduate school and a teaching career. It may be that I achieved this in spite of what happened. After I "remembered" what happened there, I really did lose focus. I've been like that for about 30 years. There was another major incident of abuse by those perpetrators. I haven't reported on it in any detail here. I'm still trying to figure it out.

*Alfred W. McCoy, A Question of Torture: CIA Interrogation, from the Cold War to the War on Terror.

http://www.amazon.com/Question-Torture-Interrogation-Cold-Terror/dp/0805080414/

Alfred W. McCoy is a history professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. The book cited contains extensive references and notes, amounting to 68 pages.

Puffer

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#463228 - 03/26/14 06:15 PM Re: Were any of you tortured? Trigger warning [Re: PerseveringDaily]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 327
I wonder what the difference is between physical abuse/ getting beaten up and torture..?
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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