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#463286 - 03/27/14 07:40 PM Re: My Dark Passenger [Re: zip14]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1653
Zip14,

Thank you for sharing. I am proud of your courage to go to the police and report the abuse. I can understand your feelings for others that were abused after your abuse--not to know others were hurt would be easier but learning of others makes the silence kept more difficult to accept. But you must remember you were a child and someone said to me, there were others before me and your mind was that of a 10/11 year old child. When told what to do, you did. It was how children were taught to behave and respond to people you were expected to respect. The abuser grooms us into silence--but when young we do not understand why or how we fell under their control.

Breaking the silence helps to free us and we must remember our silence was not our silence but the silence inflicted on us.

Your strength is evident and thank you for telling your story. Remember you have support and if you need it, we are here. I am in awe of your courage. I wish in the US our laws did not have a statute of limitation for these crimes.

Kevin

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#463288 - 03/27/14 07:59 PM Re: My Dark Passenger [Re: zip14]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 719
Loc: Southeast USA
zip14,

I hope you find some peace as this unfolds. Yes, please use all available resources-including those of us on MS.

As a side note, I often referred not to a "Dark Passenger," but a "dark hand on my shoulder." I know what you mean.

Will
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#463381 - 03/29/14 05:50 PM Re: My Dark Passenger [Re: Suwanee]
zip14 Offline


Registered: 03/20/14
Posts: 18
Loc: Ontario, Canada
The Dark Passenger is something I picked up from the TV Show Dexter. The first time I heard it I thought it applied for me.

Since joining here I have found a couple of interesting initiatives here in Canada-

The Suvivor Society of Canada

and

Little Warriors

The statistics on the Little Warriors site were eye opening for me. If correct it means we have an epidemic here in Canada.

In spite of this, the Ontario Education Minister is pursuing an amendment to an existing law that if passed would allow teachers to re-apply for their teaching certificates within 5 years following suspension for sexual assault on a student.

Despite subsections (3) and (4), if a person has had a certificate revoked for committing an act of professional misconduct that involved sexual abuse of a student, sexual misconduct or a prohibited act involving child pornography, an application under subsection (1) to have a new certificate issued shall not be made earlier than five years from the date of the order under section 30.

My assailant assaulted me when he was 21, then another ten year old student when he was 34 then another at 50 years of age. These are just the ones we know about.

Not picking on teachers as 99% are not violating students. That still leaves dozens of teachers that do.

The recent Project Spade arrested 348 individuals of which 40 were teachers. That is not a small percentage. What is the Ontario government thinking here?



Edited by zip14 (04/01/14 03:41 PM)

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#463665 - 04/04/14 05:18 PM Re: My Dark Passenger [Re: zip14]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
congratulations on taking such big steps.

welcome to ms.org.

looking forward to hearing more from you, as your story unfolds.
you have already said some good things> take control! break the silence!
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#463681 - 04/04/14 09:57 PM Re: My Dark Passenger [Re: zip14]
zip14 Offline


Registered: 03/20/14
Posts: 18
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Thanks Victor,

I am waiting to hear from the jurisdiction that is taking over my complaint. They are waiting for the statement & report from the Sex Crimes Unit in Toronto.

Happen to be watching Sleepers right now and it is triggering.

It is clear that this is going to take time and patience. I will update as I go, as I can.

Thanks for the support. It means a lot.

I have to say that I am somewhat embarrassed that I live in a place where the person overseeing education and a budget of tens of billions is advocating for re-licensing of pedophiles as teachers. Shame on the not so honorable Liz Sandals for her Bill 103.



Edited by zip14 (04/04/14 11:57 PM)

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#463708 - 04/05/14 04:20 PM Re: My Dark Passenger [Re: zip14]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: zip14


I have to say that I am somewhat embarrassed that I live in a place where the person overseeing education and a budget of tens of billions is advocating for re-licensing of pedophiles as teachers. Shame on the not so honorable Liz Sandals for her Bill 103.



!!! ??? XXX
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#463709 - 04/05/14 04:28 PM Re: My Dark Passenger [Re: zip14]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
On September 18, 2013, Canadian Minister of Education Liz Sandals introduced Bill 103, The Protecting Students Act, to the Ontario legislature.

Ontario bill would automatically revoke licences of teachers convicted of sexual abuse, child porn charges

The bill would also ensure that they would have to wait at least five years before they could apply to return to the classroom, said Education Minister Liz Sandals

Bill 103.
(3) Section 33 of the Act is amended by adding the following subsection:
Same, sexual abuse, etc.
(4.1) Despite subsections (3) and (4), if a person has had a certificate revoked for committing an act of professional misconduct that involved sexual abuse of a student, sexual misconduct or a prohibited act involving child pornography, an application under subsection (1) to have a new certificate issued shall not be made earlier than five years from the date of the order under section 30.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#464124 - 04/15/14 03:16 PM Re: My Dark Passenger [Re: zip14]
zip14 Offline


Registered: 03/20/14
Posts: 18
Loc: Ontario, Canada
I received an update from Police today. My perp is alive and Police have an address on him. This news was received with a mix of fear, anger and anticipation.

I feel good knowing that I wasn't chasing after a ghost. I feel good knowing that he will be arrested and children in his community will be safer.

I think my biggest fear is that he is going to be a far worse person than I might know him to be. I fear that his victims will number in the dozens.

Just when I start to feel like I am gaining a bit of control I suddenly feel out of control again.

I really need to drink less, sleep more and get back to daily exercise. I never felt the need for therapy (though my Ex felt I could use it) before opening this history up after so many years. Now it seems my heart gets racing when any news comes my way and I have a hard time focusing on work.

I also notice that my contact with my kids has declined significantly since reporting. It is as if I am trying to shield them from it, from my emotions, from the ugliness. I discussed it with my youngest daughter but have not been able to discuss with the older one. Family is trying to plan an Easter dinner this coming weekend and I would rather be on my own and they don't get it.

I guess I don't want them to see me so weak. They have never seen me cry other than at my Mom's funeral. I don't want my kids to think I am needing or relying on them for emotional support. Suppose to go the other way.

Though it is six hours by car, I plan to be at his first court appearance. My brother said he would go just to make sure I don't throw something at him.

Could this really be happening? Seems surreal.

Sorry for the rambling thoughts. But better out than in. Thanks.

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#464183 - 04/16/14 08:19 PM Re: My Dark Passenger [Re: zip14]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
thanks for the update.

now that the investigation has reached the criminal,
we can only hope that his crimes will stop.
that is the first priority.

the next most important thing is identifying and locating his other victims and getting them the help and support they need.

the fate of the predator... that is another story.

at 53, i have learned not to put a lot of faith or trust in the powers of the police or prosecutors to punish the perpetrators. things like justice, jail, judges have all failed me in the past, but i sincerely hope your story has a better ending.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#464231 - 04/17/14 11:54 PM Re: My Dark Passenger [Re: zip14]
zip14 Offline


Registered: 03/20/14
Posts: 18
Loc: Ontario, Canada
We are the same age Victor.

Things seem to be moving rapidly at this moment. It is tough to keep balance. I am in contact with Police twice each day.

The Detective in charge said he wants to know every detail of his past charges, court cases, appeals, incarceration history, failed prosecutions and my case before they proceed to an arrest. Says it will help with his interrogation and prosecution.

I know now that I am but a witness in this effort but I hope to hell they grab him before some other kid gets screwed up for life.

They say justice is blind but in these cases it is really just ignorance of the damage sustained by the victims. I am prepared for the complete dissatisfaction that awaits me in the criminal courts.

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