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#463003 - 03/23/14 01:03 AM Excessively excusing others' bad behavior
kcinohio Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 319
Loc: Ohio
One of the insights this month has been that I still tend to provide excuses for others' bad behavior. It's not as pervasive as it once was and I don't feel there is anything wrong with maintaining some empathy to others being human and making mistakes, particularly over little matters like cutting in line or something.

But, there's a point where I don't need to excuse a behavior. If someone robs me, whether of material possessions or of innocence, that's a bad behavior. I can forgive that person afterward if I choose, but I don't have to figure out some excuse for their behavior so that I supposedly don't have to feel any anger about it to begin with.

I'm much better at this than a while back, but my thinking around uncomfortable emotions still could use some work. Easier to get awareness and clarity about it these days, but that doesn't change my usual habitual response all that quickly either.

Know that this hangup is tied to abuse, though it seems more about the other, unpredictable-but-could-be-any-given-day kind back then than it does about CSA.

Sigh - work in progress still.


Edited by kcinohio (03/23/14 01:06 AM)

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#463010 - 03/23/14 03:42 AM Re: Excessively excusing others' bad behavior [Re: kcinohio]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 683
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi kcinohio,

Where I've come to is that whenever I'm pointing a finger at someone else I may be off base. I can't change the behavior of other people, only my own. So, I'm working on teaching myself to lose the good/bad struggle and simply learn discernment. It seems to hold some promise for me in developing insights into how I consciously and unconsciously choose. May not work for everyone, but it feels to me like setting myself free.

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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