this really spoke to me.
i love your description of the difference between falling and jumping.
reminds me of the takeaway i got from a memoir of a parental abuse survivor i read.
there is all the difference in the world between jumping and being pushed.
you've got to take back the power.
best wishes on your jump.
and here's hoping for a gentle landing.
There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ’tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come—the readiness is all. - Hamlet, Act 5, sc 2