this really spoke to me.
i love your description of the difference between falling and jumping.
reminds me of the takeaway i got from a memoir of a parental abuse survivor i read.
there is all the difference in the world between jumping and being pushed.
you've got to take back the power.
best wishes on your jump.
and here's hoping for a gentle landing.
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho