I've been at this for some time now and have fortunately experienced some real progress in confronting CSA. I disclosed the abuse to my wife, a therapist, a childhood friend and ultimately my parents. I felt energized after each step-even though the euphoric feeling of "getting it done" faded in time. To be sure, a lack of "euphoria" does not seem to equal "depression" or "anhedonia." I suppose I could say almost "balanced" instead.
What I have found is that the CSA seemed to be a logjam of sorts. I'm now managing the restored flow of other unresolved issues that are (perhaps) peripherally related to the CSA. For example, I am examining my relationship with my father. He and I are much closer now than we ever were when I was a kid. For those who haven't heard the situation: My father worked A LOT. He traveled A LOT. He missed many, many things at home--simple things like conversation and swim meets while he was traveling the world. At the time he justified his absence as a necessary evil to provide a comfortable living. What he did in effect was replace his presence with material things as a demonstration of his affection. My T sessions are now monthly, and this is the direction we've been heading lately.
Today, my father regrets being away so often. I've tried to reassure him that I turned out just fine, but the elephant in the room still remains. I'm a CSA victim perhaps because of his frequent absence. I craved male attention and unfortunately found it.
This is Phase Two.