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#462130 - 03/06/14 02:58 PM My therapist
mountainfrost Offline


Registered: 05/21/13
Posts: 4
Loc: PA
My therapist has questioned me regarding my parents and why I felt I was never able to 'trust' them enough to tell them that I was being abused by neighbor cop. I say 'cop' because I don't feel a police officer in the true sense would do such a thing.
Anyway, she stated, verbatim " Your parents may be to blame for not allowing you to trust them ". I think she could tell I was not pleased with her thoughts and it was not mentioned again after that session.
I have much experience with CBT, psychiatry and most aspects of the mental health arena as I have worked extensively in the field for a couple of decades now. I am also a consumer.
I found it very odd since we have a good relationship with fair boundaries and she knows how nice my childhood was with the exception of the abuse.
I think I will confront her on my next visit. :-)
Chris

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#462132 - 03/06/14 03:08 PM Re: My therapist [Re: mountainfrost]
mountainfrost Offline


Registered: 05/21/13
Posts: 4
Loc: PA
Why didn't I tell them????

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#462133 - 03/06/14 03:13 PM Re: My therapist [Re: mountainfrost]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 664
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi Chris,

If it's not true, why would you be displeased? If it is true, why would you be displeased? And, you use the word confront. Pretty aggressive response. She may see more than you know. Just a possibility.

From my perspective, any kid who is not comfortable asking parents for the help he needs says something major about the parents. Kids are totally dependent on their parents. If they are uncomfortable depending on their parents, it's not the kids fault.

Just my opinion.

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#462147 - 03/06/14 08:22 PM Re: My therapist [Re: mountainfrost]
Rustam Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 470
Loc: UK
You will find your own answers to why you didn't tell your parents, but it is very common even when the parents are generally 'good'. Yes I would 'confront' or talk about the 'trust' parent issue next visit, as Don says the therapist may or may not have a point, that answer is in you too.

As a boy believes the abuse is his fault, he has done something shameful and bad, the feelings of shock, shame and horror at what is happening are overwhelming. The child does not know that telling would be good for him, he does not know that help is available and he does not know that no one in their right mind could blame him. He may fear letting his parents down, he may fear their disappointment or rejection, or that the abuser will be believed and not him. His child world has been invaded with more fear and insecurity than he can handle, he may fear making things even worse. As adults we find talking about abuse difficult how hard it must be for a child.

The abuser will reinforce the child's false belief, that it is the child's fault, that the child is cooperative or whatever. There are many ways the abuser can ensure the child's silence.

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