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#462058 - 03/05/14 12:52 AM self worth and giving time time
kcinohio Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 371
Loc: Ohio
This subject came up twice today in completely different contexts. Had to admit I was struggling with it. Feeling somewhat sad today and not sure why so that probably has something to do with it.

But, I know there are other times I feel healthy and have a sense of self-worth I feel is okay and still tempered with humility, so I don't need to particularly "fix" this feeling and think I can let it run its course. But, I do need to watch out that I don't let this low self-worth feeling negatively affect my decision making in the interim.

Suppose that's what I could ask for others' experience with. How do you keep yourself from making bad decisions when you know you're just in the midst of a temporary down phase? Find it challenging to keep my objectivity during these times.



Edited by kcinohio (03/05/14 12:53 AM)

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#462122 - 03/06/14 12:54 PM Re: self worth and giving time time [Re: kcinohio]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 288
Loc: MO
KC in Ohio

All I can share is my experience. It begins with doubt that my negative self esteem is temporary. However,I have a very strong belief system of helping others and maintaining objectivity regarding my usefulness.

If I perform as I believe I should I find it easy to make the "good" decision. It isn't always good for me, but it helps me avoid many of the negative behaviors. (Self mutilation the inability to get out of bed in the morning, my doubting that I want to wake up tomorrow.)

The idea is that that it fixes me, but rather that it helps me avoid self destructive decisions.

Good luck.

We all have different stories, but we all are just the same

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#462134 - 03/06/14 03:26 PM Re: self worth and giving time time [Re: kcinohio]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 828
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi KC,

The most important part of your post from my perspective is that you didn't know why you were sad. Taking the time and space to respect and honor my feelings seems to me the only way the damaged places in myself will ever be able to trust my ability to care for myself.

It's the way I feel about myself, however it doesn't mean I've been stellar at accomplishing it. I have had so many fear programs running most of my life that I didn't have a clue what was going on in my life. I just ran from one crisis to the next until the past couple of years. It was very difficult for me to work through enough terror to slow down enough to actually figure what I was feeling and why.

My own lifelong feelings of being unworthy were totally tied up in a belief that my destiny was not in my control. And, it remained out of my control until I was forced by life events to stop running.

Sending you love and support.

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#462637 - 03/15/14 12:23 AM Re: self worth and giving time time [Re: kcinohio]
kcinohio Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 371
Loc: Ohio
Thanks genedebs and Don64. Moving forward with a little bit of progress at a time on this.

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#462653 - 03/15/14 05:58 AM Re: self worth and giving time time [Re: kcinohio]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 828
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi KC,

I read somewhere "the only to develop self-esteem is to esteem your self." When I first read that my brain completely scrambled. My brain said "WTF. What does that mean?" However, it was the beginning of being able to entertain the notion that I could learn how to esteem myself. It had never occurred to me before that there might be concrete things I could DO to show myself that I care for myself. The healthier I get, the more aware I am of how damaged I am.

This used to concern me. Not anymore. Wherever and however I exist in creation, I will always have limits. At this point, I'm not interested in being like anyone else, I'm interested in being like ME.

I hope you are able to feel the love and support that comes your way.

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#462660 - 03/15/14 08:49 AM Re: self worth and giving time time [Re: kcinohio]
On The Fringe Offline


Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
I like your simple honesty.

I feel like shit. I don't want to do something stupid. Me too!!!

I like to play my guitar when a bit off. A good workout does something positive. A walk in a nice place helps.

It is a phase. Usually doing something naturally healthy is good.

Talking with a loved one also helps me focus.

Genuine self esteem is normally based on making choices we believe are right. Living in contradiction to our values brings low self esteem and anxiety.

Be true to yourself and be good to yourself.
_________________________
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

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#462677 - 03/15/14 01:53 PM Re: self worth and giving time time [Re: kcinohio]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 300
The only way i could do as you have asked was to train myself to always monitor what i was thinking and then to pace myself before i made a decision. it took a few months to train myself but it was the most useful tool in my recovery.

stay strong

rich
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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