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#461667 - 02/27/14 10:42 PM My therapist???
forgive777 Online   content


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
My therapist!!!! Today told me that iam not NORMAL!!!! This is the 3rd session as in now. Iam wondering why he said that? Has anyone else had a similar experience and is it normal , not to mention it made me feel different about me,,, He said "Dont worry I will fix you up""" What is he talking about? Its my first time seeking therapy, Iam thirty... He also said iam confused about my sexuality???? I know what iam iam straight and always have been.. no disrepect,,, but he keeps throwing homosexuality how its normal and how god dont judge homosexuals???? Iam now really confused......
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BertG777

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#461668 - 02/27/14 10:50 PM Re: My therapist??? [Re: forgive777]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3450
Loc: somewhere in Africa
i have NEVER heard of a T telling someone that they are not "normal" - in fact i thought that most would avoid use of a word with such a vague definition and such an emotionally charged connotation. and even more questionable in my humble opinion is to say that he will "fix" you. i would be offended by that. i am not even going to touch the issue of further confusing your own sense of identity and orientation. i would seriously think about finding a new and improved T.

just my take on it,
lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#461671 - 02/27/14 11:08 PM Re: My therapist??? [Re: forgive777]
Rustam Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 471
Loc: UK
Alarm bells going off here too, I agree with Lee. The use of the word 'normal' seems plain wrong and the 'I will fix you up' is strange language, we can work together and I think it will help you would make more sense. He has no right to tell you that you are confused about your sexuality, that is up to you to know and if you tell him you know your sexuality he has no grounds to tell you otherwise.
It can be difficult to find a good T but it is well worth the search when you do find one that fits.

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#461672 - 02/27/14 11:09 PM Re: My therapist??? [Re: forgive777]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1561
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: forgive777
...Today told me that iam not NORMAL! ....He said "Dont worry I will fix you up"
Hi Forgive,
I'm sorry to say that I agree with Lee. A competent therapist would not tell you that you are not normal, or promise that he will fix you. I know that searching for a therapist is a drag, but you may have to consider seeking help from someone else to acheive your goals.

Jude
_________________________
Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine.
Sheryl Crow

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#461680 - 02/27/14 11:54 PM Re: My therapist??? [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Online   content


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
Iam thinking this t dont want to help me or becomes a d$#* becouse of my insurance policy! Is not a big known company like blue shield aetana keiser and so on iam a working citizen Ive only been of work for 2 yrs. Out of 15yrs. I just so got lucky to qualify just under the new insursnce law with obama insurance california coverage,,, and iam feeling weird using this opportunity to having this government assistance normally its not me what I avoid is assistince but I hit rock bottom with this issue of Csa,, I got laid of last year November I had a good insurance provider I would have used that insurance instead... but I applied for gov. Assistance and quilified my surprise I went threw an phone interview . I just told them why I wanted or seeking therapy I brought up Csa trauma,, and quilified me but iam guessing this man thinks iam a druggy low poor looser with lost couse I dont know why!!! That keeps passing by my mind iam working and still paying tons of taxes here in CA. WHats the big deal about using or having that insurance is that you get treated bad....I dont get it I guees there is tons of people that are using free loading or etc.. I am not iam working and getting taxed... its bull!!! I told him if he would rather me pay him cash he replied "aww how genours of you????? Totally not fair getting treated like a animal., for having a government assistance I guess iam getting a good insurance carrier pay out of pocket to get respect,, whats up with that...


Edited by forgive777 (02/28/14 12:02 AM)
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BertG777

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#461691 - 02/28/14 02:31 AM Re: My therapist??? [Re: forgive777]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1410
Loc: California
One question - is this someone you can feel safe being around?

If not, look for another therapist.
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#461708 - 02/28/14 08:35 AM Re: My therapist??? [Re: forgive777]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1714
I also see red flags popping up everywhere. A therapist saying you are not normal is totally disturbing. You seem to be concerned and uncomfortable. I have been with my therapist almost 3 years and he has made me feel safe and helped me face the CSA.

If you are having concerns now with his words and actions, you many want to consider interviewing other therapists and find one that you are comfortable with and more importantly make you feel safe as has been said here.

Good luck.

Kevin

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#461709 - 02/28/14 08:36 AM Re: My therapist??? [Re: forgive777]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3450
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Forgive 777 -

one thing my T used to tell me that helped me a lot was - "what you are describing as feeling is a NORMAL reaction to an ABNORMAL situation." that's what i'd like to pass on to you as well. what happened to us was far from normal. but the way we respond to it is predictable and typical. at least it works for me.

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#461753 - 02/28/14 07:13 PM Re: My therapist??? [Re: forgive777]
Canuck Offline


Registered: 05/26/10
Posts: 57
Loc: CA, United States
According to research about therapist and patient relationships, approximately 10% of therapists have SELF reported inappropriate sexual contact with their patients. There is a study here: http://kspope.com/sexiss/research1.php and there are other, more recent studies (including work done for the AMA and published in the "Annals" Journal for the American Psychotherapy Association) that indicate the same level of violation.

Alarm Bells are ringing, my friend.... This weirdo is grooming you for sexual contact.

Don't go back.

Report his statements as best as you can recollect to your local (state) medical board as a complaint. Report what he said, how you responded, and that you felt uncomfortable with his comments.

At the very least, your complaint will be on record for whoever he eventually violates.

You do NOT OWE this person any kind of explanation or excuse. Simply cancel any follow-up appointments and move on.

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#461757 - 02/28/14 07:36 PM Re: My therapist??? [Re: forgive777]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 770
Loc: michigan
hey bud
I have to agree with what has been said thus far ...this person is not safe and you need to seek someone competent to help you. the mere fact that you are here posting this suggests that you do not feel safe there and that is the beginning and end of the question. if at any time my therapist gave me the impression that he was not safe I would leave and not return. any professional I have met has always treated my terror and hypervigelance with the utmost respect and given me wide birth to become comfortable with them. you deserve no less. please don't put yourself at further risk. you deserve to be well and get past this part of your story
Jeff
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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