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#461266 - 02/22/14 10:59 AM Recovery Milestone Post
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1046
My brothers,

It has been some time since I posted. I just wanted to stop in and say hello and to let everyone know how I'm doing.

Since Christmas, my life has taken a dramatic turn for the good. I met a younger woman, disclosed everything to her, and we have only grown closer as a result.

Before Christmas, I felt defeated in life and thought that I could never have a relationship, marriage and family. And now, miraculously, all these things seem possible.

It's a long-distance relationship, so it's not ideal, but it's going to work.

She is 24 and I'm 37, which is somewhat of a concern I suppose, but I think my recovery has set me back 10 years of emotional growth, so in that sense, these ages seem just fine. She gets her MBA this year, so she's no child.

She also has some trauma in her past, but as a teen and a young woman. Never the less, she understands my PTSD and dissociative issues and is really good at spotting them and reading me emotionally when we're together.

She knows about my SSA to older men, and this doesn't seem to phase her. When I dissociate during sex, she recognizes it and brings me back.

I just went on a road trip with her through Arizona from Phoenix to Monument Valley in Navajo country, which happened to take us through Prescott, AZ, home of our fallen brother, Life's A Dream, a story that I told her as we drove through. I cried telling her what happened to LAD, but again it brought us closer together.

I have changed my avatar from the tree missing its center to one of the giant rocks of Monument Valley. This thing is 1,000 feet tall and a mile across at its base. I've made this change to reflect how I feel I have changed in the past few months.

I'm still with my EMDR T, and there's still much left to deal with, including the SSA and my dissociation during sex with my girlfriend, but these seem like issues that I can overcome now with her help.

But I could have never gotten myself to this point in my recovery process without my many good friends and brothers here at MS. You know who you are. I love you all deeply.

Thank you for all your support, and I apologize for not being here more. I will try to be more present and supportive going forward.

Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

#461267 - 02/22/14 11:15 AM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA

That's a wonderful report. Thank you.


#461269 - 02/22/14 11:19 AM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
BraveFalcon Offline

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1185
Loc: The ATL

Hi Can't. It was good to read this and so good to hear from you. Congrats on the new found relationship. I wish you many, many years of happiness with her. This is the type of story that can give inspiration and hope to those of us who are struggling to find any. Thank you.

By the way, I have been to that part of Arizona before and I loved it there. One of the most beautiful regions of the United States as far as I'm concerned. Anyone who hasn't been out there definitely needs to put it on their "things I need to do before I die" list. So glad you are well. Peace,


#461271 - 02/22/14 11:23 AM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
OCN Offline

Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 337
Loc: Western Europe
He Can't

Great news!! Glad to read such a positive change has happened in your life! Really wish you the best and this sure sounds great!

Thanks for sharing!

Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

I now know who I am - I've never been anybody else!

#461272 - 02/22/14 11:26 AM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1952

Great to hear from you. Glad to hear life is looking good. Finding someone to be with who makes you feel good goes a long way. Your dissociative episodes will subside, I would dissociate and have fugues and leave mentally and physically, but since I have left a difficult environment and have found someone who cares and tries to understand the abuse and PTSD has pushed me forward like you. My lost times are leaving. I continue with therapy and support groups. It is important to open up to people, because there will be one, two or more who will be there for you. There are many good people out there who give of themselves and have no expectations. You have found one.

I am happy to hear of your progress and most importantly you are happy.


#461291 - 02/22/14 04:07 PM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3672
Loc: somewhere in Africa
CR - i remember way back when - i commented on how apt your avatar photo of the tree was. now i have the pleasure of commenting on how apt your new avatar photo of the monumental rock is.

i am so happy to hear of all the new and healthy and positive developments in your life. and glad you came back to share with us.

keep on keepin on!
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho

#461311 - 02/23/14 12:07 AM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 4588
Loc: O Kanada

congratulations on the good news.

thanks for keeping us posted and sharing hope and happiness.


#461341 - 02/23/14 12:28 PM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1046
Thanks, guys.

I couldn't have done this without you.

Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

#461357 - 02/23/14 09:46 PM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
Suwanee Offline

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 864
Loc: Southeast USA
I'm very, very happy to hear this. I really needed to hear some good news from MS this week.

All the best.

I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made. --FDR

I remember redwood trees, bumper cars and wolverines
The ocean's Trident submarines
Lemons, limes and tangerines
I remember this… R.E.M. 1988

Cruel Summer
My Journal

#461358 - 02/23/14 09:51 PM Re: Recovery Milestone Post [Re: cant_remember]
gettingstronger Offline

Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 244
Loc: Virginia
Hey Can't,

Good for you! This is really great! Thanks for keeping us posted.


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