I hope everyone has been doing OK, as well as can be expected, anyway. I logged on today to share some stuff and to put some things down on paper/cyberspace/whatever.
1. Therapy and continued self-examination/care/expression/healing does work. It's a journey, a process. It may sometimes feel like you're standing still but you're always going forward. Respect the process. Give yourself to it. It works. (That advice is to me as much as to anyone reading this.)
2. If you're anything like me, your PTSD may influence your choices toward situations/activities/circumstances that can produce more traumatic events. PTSD apparently is a self-reinforcing phenomenon. But we all knew that, I guess. Anyway, about a month ago I was commuting to work and wrecked my bicycle and knocked myself out. Yes, I was wearing a helmet, thank goodness. Anyway, it's strange how symptoms of a concussion can echo perfectly the symptoms of PTSD. In my case, the blessing is that the symptoms have abated quickly, week by week rather than year by year, as has been the case with PTSD. Anyway, I just wanted to point out that similarity for anyone who has received a knock on the head and might be wondering why it feels a little bit like deja vu all over again.
3. Other events in the last few days have really opened my eyes to how far I've come along, how much I've healed, and I wanted to tell you all that it will get better, despite the setbacks, despite the seemingly endless road we have to go. The CSA that happened to me was almost 30 years ago. It hurts to this day, although the pain isn't as great as it has been. And better yet, I'm able to be a better resource for my family, for my wife and my kids. Hey, sometimes they need the dad/husband to run the ship, and I could do that before, but not very well. I'm proud to say I'm being the man my family needs right now, and it feels good.
Keep seeking peace, brothers. We're not out of the woods yet. But damn it we'll keep going forward.