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#460160 - 02/05/14 08:48 AM First post
enoughalready Offline


Registered: 02/04/14
Posts: 2
Loc: Utah
I've read some introductions and already I'm struggling with the thought that some of these guys must be exaggerating or lying. Yet, I feel like vomIting. I don't know what to make of all this. Tears, tears and gut-wrenching pain. More later.


Edited by enoughalready (02/05/14 09:00 AM)
Edit Reason: wrong emoticon

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#460161 - 02/05/14 09:09 AM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3617
Loc: South-East Europe
Hello enoughalready, Welcome to Male survivor!
I'm glad that you are here and that you've been brave enough to make your first topic, congratulations!
Please don't push yourself too much and stay away from reading if some topics are hurtful.

You are here among friends survivors who can understand many issues and pain related to abuse so sometimes there is no need for additional details, we understand.

It is also important to emphasize that we are trying as much as possible to secure safety and anonymity to all our members here as it is needed for our healing and recovery.

Keep sharing with us, welcome on board one more time wink

Pero

_________________________
My story

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#460163 - 02/05/14 09:42 AM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
enoughalready Offline


Registered: 02/04/14
Posts: 2
Loc: Utah
Thanks for the response. It's good to know there's actually someone out there n

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#460165 - 02/05/14 11:08 AM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3486
Loc: somewhere in Africa
enoughalready -

welcome.

it was hard for me to read what you said because many of us have not been believed in the past - or have had others tell us that it wasn't really that bad. maybe that has happened to you, too. if that is the case, let me assure you, that many of us have discovered as we worked through our memories that it was actually a lot worse than what we first thought. if that applies to you, please know that there are guys here who understand and want to help you through it. please try not to judge yourself or others. no one here wants to judge you either. we are here for one another.

if i misunderstood what you meant, i am sorry. i hope you will feel safe and accepted.

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#460166 - 02/05/14 11:12 AM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3413
Loc: O Kanada
welcome, enoughalready.

your name says it all!

hope you find some of what you need here.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#460167 - 02/05/14 11:18 AM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1743
Enoughalready

Welcome. The site is here to help you. Share as you feel comfortable. It is important you feel safe. Many read the posts and others stories and comment when they are ready.

You have taken a brave step to face the past and the abuse. It is an emotional journey with ups and downs. But as time progresses and you open up you will find you will be better able to control you life and not let the abuse control you.

There are chat rooms, enter, read or post. We all heal differently as well all reacted differently to the abuse. You will find what may work for someone does not work for others. You will find your path. If you need to vent, vent. We have all been there and make no judgment of others. We are here to support each other--in our triumphs and setbacks.

Heal well

Kevin

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#460169 - 02/05/14 11:31 AM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
pittsburgh Offline


Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 89
Loc: west Chester, Pa
Hello: Welcome, I am very sorry that you need to be here. I understand you feelings. The sad truth is there are so many men who have had similar experiences. This was something I had difficulty with also, when I first started on my journey. Read and know that we are with you.
_________________________
it is and has been quite a trip thru life, as last I feel that I am in a better place, it takes work and in my case a wife the was and is forgiveing and helpful. At last a relationship has gone right, messed up three.

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#460172 - 02/05/14 12:02 PM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3413
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: enoughalready
I've read some introductions and already I'm struggling with the thought that some of these guys must be exaggerating or lying. Yet, I feel like vomIting. I don't know what to make of all this. Tears, tears and gut-wrenching pain. More later.


try to avoid the temptation to compare your abuse to others.
there is no 'better or worse'.
it is all abuse.

our experiences vary, the reactions vary, but the pain is private, personal, powerful and real for each and every one of us.
the individuals are unique, but we are all human.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#460187 - 02/05/14 03:54 PM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
Landscape Offline


Registered: 01/31/14
Posts: 39
Enoughalready, welcome.

I am new here as well. I don't know where the all the answers are, but I'm right here with you looking for them. We all are.

I had the conversation about comparing with my T recently, and was told the same thing Victor said. There's no better or worse. There is only how it affected you, and that depends on so many things.

Notice that many are telling you to move slowly, at your own pace. I was rushing, and now I'm backing off a little. I need time to process. You'll find the speed that's right for you.

Be well.
_________________________
--
"And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I'll scream 'til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out"

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#460206 - 02/06/14 01:26 AM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1579
Loc: New England
Welcome enoughalready,

Dittos to all the above. You are in the right place.

Jude
_________________________
Can't be bothered with sorrow
And I can't be bothered with hate, no, no
I'm using up the time but feeling fine every day
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate another day of livin'
Rare Earth

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#460227 - 02/06/14 05:38 PM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1443
Originally Posted By: enoughalready
I've read some introductions and already I'm struggling with the thought that some of these guys must be exaggerating or lying. Yet, I feel like vomIting. I don't know what to make of all this. Tears, tears and gut-wrenching pain. More later.

You know, I was struck so much by this. The first survivor forum I visited was run by a self-proclaimed survivor named "Tuggy" and ultimately he turned out to be a fake. So I always have a healthy dose of skepticism. But the story that hit me with the most incredulity, surprisingly enough, was my own. Until I came here, I never wrote it out. When I finally did, then read what I wrote, I was like - wow - really??? I think there is something magical about getting it in front of you and finally "seeing" it in that way for the first time. I never realized until I wrote out my intro just what an astoundingly awful mess of a situation I was in. And I navigated it all by myself and just kept the secrets and "dealt" with it - like so many here. Once I finally saw it, though, I found the ability to really begin to draw the connections - the dysfunctions I inherited directly from that period. Sharing has been a self-integrating experience.
_________________________
Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#461584 - 02/26/14 07:45 PM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
Andrew3172 Offline


Registered: 01/23/14
Posts: 11
Hi I understand that you might think that about some of the posts .but all of us have gone through different experiences with being sa I know that what I experienced was different from what you have it is all bad what happened to us. I can't say that what I went through was worse than what you went through because I am not you man. But I agree there are some that are out to cause harm .I hope that you find some help here like I have and find peace for yourself man..

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#461898 - 03/02/14 05:22 PM Re: First post [Re: enoughalready]
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 188
Loc: Canada
Enoughalready,

I am sorry for your reason to be here, but glad for you that you have taken this step.

It is hard to fathom the tragedies that we have all endured, I understand this feeling. Yet the stories at least initially, likely downplay the harm and effects. This is our curse.

If you are here you were harmed, and this applies to us all.

If this is too much for you right now, maybe try writing offline, where no one else can see.Ease into it if it is too much, eventually, when you can speak your truth, you'll likely find that the support and empathy you receive will bring on the healing we all so desperately need.

Welcome and take care
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

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