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#460099 - 02/04/14 05:50 AM Inertia toward therapy
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3617
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi guys,
I've been in individual therapy for almost two years and recently I've stated group therapy (it is mixed group for females and males and it is not crowded).
It has sort of educational purpose and it is intensive in it's core, meaning it last for two days in a row and includes "work" on our particular issues.

I can say that I've discovered many interesting things abut myself trough individual therapy already. Off course that some challenges left unanswered and untouched.
Anyway when I've started this group I was asked there what would be my issues that I would like to work on and share with the group. And what was surprising for me I didn't have immediate answer. Somehow I've found myself like tired from therapy at that moment. And idea of me going again trough some deep introspection and analysis was repulsive. Next day I went right in the head and shared my main problems like: shame, problems with intimacy and sexual orientation/confusion, fears of leaving comfort zone when making deeper contacts and so on. For some people my talk was more than enough as it brought them to their limits, for some it was interesting and surprising let's say. My T was satisfied and said it was visible how much I've achieved trough my therapy as I shared my intimate and vulnerable side with almost strangers - something that I was not good at.

But for me it was much easier to talk about it than to "work" and go trough some of fragile emotions again. Not sure how would I feel next session which should be in couple of weeks, still I'm like desperate and in panic when thinking that I need again to go trough some vulnerabilities and difficult emotions.

I hope some of you could relate and even give me some advice. I never felt like don't' wanting to do therapy before and somehow I'm confused with such inner inertia and passivity.
Maybe all this is part of "group dynamics" and I just need to wait to adapt more.
I'll see, there is no other way but to go trough that situation and see what would show up.

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#460102 - 02/04/14 08:28 AM Re: Inertia toward therapy [Re: peroperic2009]
Greg56 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/14
Posts: 32
Loc: Upstate NY
Although I have no words of wisdom for you. I can certainly relate, as I went through the same thing with my new therapist. I felt at the first meeting as though I were being fraudulent...that I really didn't need him. As it turns out. The second meeting was much more reality based and much more intimate than I could imagine. I hope at least you find some comfort in your new endeavor and hope that you know that you're not alone.

Greg

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#460104 - 02/04/14 08:54 AM Re: Inertia toward therapy [Re: peroperic2009]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 786
Loc: michigan
hey pero
I think that maybe the group is a little too intensive to begin with. it seems that it is a hell of a lot to ask that you would acclimate to group therapy, adjust to a whole new set of people, dredge up horrible feelings,and then share them all in the first week!! that is insane and I'm not sure it is even healthy. there is a point at which we may need a gentle push sometimes I think but whoever is leading this group is pushing with a bulldozer. just be really careful man I would hate to see you re-traumatized by something that is supposed to help.
Jeff
_________________________
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

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#460105 - 02/04/14 10:02 AM Re: Inertia toward therapy [Re: peroperic2009]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 800
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi Pero,

I wonder if the real pressure is coming from inside you. You don't owe anyone there anything, and your only responsibility is to learn to be responsive to yourself. It is true this group is an opportunity for you to learn and grow, but you are the only one who can figure out what your pace is.

I'm wondering if you are pushing yourself more than you are comfortable with. That is what the feelings you are describing suggest to me. Forced intimacy never works for me. Trust is earned, not granted. And, you certainly can't trust strangers with your most intimate issues. I would guess this has something to do with learning to trust yourself with others.

Just my thoughts, and I wish you the best.

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#460106 - 02/04/14 10:03 AM Re: Inertia toward therapy [Re: peroperic2009]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 800
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
p.s. Learning to trust myself with others is certainly a BIG issue of mine.
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#460108 - 02/04/14 10:41 AM Re: Inertia toward therapy [Re: peroperic2009]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1428
Loc: California
Its funny, the perspectives that everyone has. Here I am wishing that such a group existed that could benefit me, and other people are lamenting that they're in a group.
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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