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#459951 - 02/01/14 06:46 PM Hello. Report.
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 330
When I first came to the site years ago, I want you to know some of my stories aren't entirely accurate. I never lied or made things up, but some are exaggeraitons. I'm sorry to anyone this offends.

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#459965 - 02/01/14 08:57 PM Re: Hello. Report. [Re: Marinan]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Marinan

It's good to hear from you again. I don't blame you for what you're saying. That's OK.

How are you doing otherwise?

My stories were not exaggerations. I've discovered that "officialdom" was behind them however.

Puffer

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#459971 - 02/01/14 09:58 PM Re: Hello. Report. [Re: pufferfish]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 330
I'm kind of bummed.

The actual problems of SA that I have experienced still get in the way of my every day life.

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#460040 - 02/03/14 04:23 AM Re: Hello. Report. [Re: Marinan]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3621
Loc: South-East Europe
Hello Marinan,
I remember you as you were on of the first guys that I've meet in chat, lol.
Good to see you, and nice that you were brave enough to show us own vulnerability. Everyone sometimes likes to feel and act like someone else but it is good to acknowledge it and to try to be as honest as possible. Courage is needed for that!
I hope we will see you more often wink !

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#460043 - 02/03/14 06:07 AM Re: Hello. Report. [Re: Marinan]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3536
Loc: O Kanada
you did not offend me, Marinan.
no need for you to be ashamed, apologetic or accurate.
denial, dishonesty, disclosure and discovery...
all are part of sexual abuse, secrecy and spiritual recovery.

memories can play tricks on us all.
inaccuracies and gaps and exaggerations and repressions and revelations and such are completely common,
expecially with sexual abuse survivors.
unfortunately this often interferes with progress,
and it also is a problem with witness testimony.


_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#460063 - 02/03/14 01:34 PM Re: Hello. Report. [Re: Marinan]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Wow Marinan, a post where I feel I can actually make a contribution to the discussion (been running woefully short on that lately).

For one, not a all offended. In fact, I admire your honesty. Felt good just reading your OP.

I don't know if this resonates or not. For me, as a child of alcoholics, I learned that lying was as easy as telling the truth. Big, small, didn't matter. Lying was a way of life and a way to survive when there was an elephant in the room.

For me it wasn't so much a moral issue as a lifetime of habit and learned behavior from my childhood. imo, what little minds learn in childhood is forever etched into their psyches. And it's taken conscious effort to this day, decades later, for me to monitor it. Some days are better than others, some worse.

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#460067 - 02/03/14 03:05 PM Re: Hello. Report. [Re: Lancer]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3536
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: Lancer
For me it wasn't so much a moral issue as a lifetime of habit and learned behavior from my childhood


me, too!
i channeled into personas and performance art.

many layers of lies left me living in an alternate universe.
population: one.
very lonely.
i could lie to myself, but i could not lie to god.

again, thanks for your open honesty.
it is good for all of us, including you.

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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