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#459979 - 02/02/14 12:43 AM Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
Dylan Farrow, Now 29, Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse By Woody Allen
"This time, I refuse to fall apart. For so long, Woody Allen’s acceptance silenced me. It felt like a personal rebuke, like the awards and accolades were a way to tell me to shut up and go away. But the survivors of sexual abuse who have reached out to me — to support me and to share their fears of coming forward, of being called a liar, of being told their memories aren’t their memories — have given me a reason to not be silent, if only so others know that they don’t have to be silent either." NY Times, February 1, 2014

Amen Dylan, you are awesome.
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#459987 - 02/02/14 08:59 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
_________________________
Female.

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#459988 - 02/02/14 09:05 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1790
I love the line "this time I refuse to fall apart" It shows she has gathered the strength to face the truth and not be silenced by the media, Hollywood and celebrities.

Her acknowledgment of "but the survivors of sexual abuse who have reached to me--to support me and to share their fears of coming forward, of being called a a liar, of being told their memories aren't their memories......" How often I heard those words, directly or by implication to silence me as I healed and faced the past and the triggers inflicted. How society and ignorance perpetuates our silence.

She also spoke of her eating disorder and need to cut herself. All signs of the abuse. People need to open up about the reality and effects of CSA. I hope this forces the media to re-examine how it portrays victims and sometimes focuses only on the abuser. I also hope they use this as an opportunity to educate people on CSA--I know this is wishful thinking because turning a blind eye or being ignorant is easier than supporting a victim or survivor.



I also

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#459989 - 02/02/14 09:50 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
_________________________
Female.

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#459990 - 02/02/14 10:02 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1790
One common outcome is PTSD. Dylan acknowledged her diagnosis. I too have diagnosed with PTSD and dissociative fugue disorder. But with help they can be controlled. I believe many in the public do not realize PTSD is a reality for many victims/survivors. PTSD can be debilitating and controls one life.

Hopefully this is a step, hard and difficult for Dylan but hopefully healing, that will allow people to see the consequences of CSA. It impacts the victim for a lifetime.

It takes courage to challenge the Hollywood machine.

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#460144 - 02/05/14 02:39 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada
i was not a witness, but i believe Dylan Farrow's story.
i, too, have been diagnosed with PTSD.

this situation is typical of the don't ask, don't tell, keep quiet, do your job, mind your own business attitude of the entertainment industry in general.

i have seen all kinds of disgusting things in my 35 year career in show biz. i would dare say that the percentage of people who are victims, survivors, and perpetrators is very high.





_________________________
Victor|Victim

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#460210 - 02/06/14 02:24 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

Top
#460213 - 02/06/14 04:10 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada


this article is a disgrace.
i have sent my opinion to the editor of this magazine.
if you want the editor's email PM me.

i have found the website of the writer of this attack on Dylan's credibility.
he is promoting a biographical documentary of woody's life.
he is hardly an unbiased party.
Robert B. Weide is an Oscar-nominated and Emmy-winning filmmaker whose documentaries have covered the Marx Brothers, W.C. Fields, Mort Sahl, Lenny Bruce, Woody Allen and Kurt Vonnegut. He was also the Executive Producer and director of the HBO series, Curb Your Enthusiasm.

anyone who wants mr.weide's email please PM me.



this is a copy of the email I sent.
_____________________________________________

shame on THE DAILY BEAST for publishing this "article" written by a biased source.

shame on Robert (Bob) Weide for writing it. it is an outrage!

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/01/27/the-woody-allen-allegations-not-so-fast.html


as a victim and survivor of sexual abuse, all I can say is...

please do some research on the subject of sexual abuse,

before you open your mouth about something you know nothing about.

shame on you!



anyone who wants to know the truth about sexual abuse can visit www.malesurvivor.org

where they can read stories of sexual abuse and survival from almost 12.000 victims.

everyone of those stories sounds pretty much exactly like Dylan Farrow's.

http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/01/an-open-letter-from-dylan-farrow/


we survivors know what courage it takes to disclose our history,

and when someone questions our credibility,

or publicly accuses the victim of "imagining" they were sexually abused as a child...

it is more than an insult... it re-victimizes the victim. it hurts!


personally, i find Mr.Weide's "article" offensive.

by sticking his nose into this, he has stuck his neck out!

he has publicly embarrassed himself, by exposing his ignorance and insensitivity.


anyone who wishes to contact the author of this attempt to discredit Dylan Farrow... here is his contact information.

---- insert contact information and website (DuckProds) for R.Weide - Whyaduck Productions, Inc ----

he has a website where he is promoting his autobiographical documentary about Mr.W.Allen...

mr. weide is hardly a neutral or unbiased party.

please let him know how you feel about his "article" defending W.Allen and discrediting D.Farrow.

---------------------

please forward this email.

let us show our support for victims of sexual abuse,
such as Dylan Farrow.

----------------------



_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#460216 - 02/06/14 07:28 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1790
The whole situation is sad, a daughter sexually abused.

Dylan's brother Moses also came out in support of Woody Allen and denied she was abused. He claim Mia Farrow manipulated to hate Woody from the moment Mia found out about the sister he ultimately married. It was very bad break up and issues of alienation by one parent against the other probably exists, at least from what was written in the media. But I believe Dylan was abused because I cannot believe anyone would say otherwise. Dylan's responded to her brother's comments by writing that her brother is dead to her.

It is so sad to see what CSA does to a person and family--a child damaged, anger and alienation within the family, family members unable to accept CSA occurred and is real--so many lives destroyed. The CT prosecutor said there was probable cause to charge Allen but he wanted to spare Dylan. No one is spared in CSA.

Hopefully, Dylan's courage is recognized and she is not dragged through the mud--she deserves to live and put the CSA in a place that will not control her life. Her family, in total, need to support her and help her heal despite their personal feelings. Those that turn on her, have not lived what she has lived--

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#460217 - 02/06/14 07:40 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 614
Loc: where the shadows lie
I have to agree with you about the article, V-V. He took a really long time to basically say "well, I never saw anything." I believing in finding a balance between validating the perspective and emotions of the accuser while not prematurely presuming the guilt of the accused, but this article adds nothing constructive to the conversation. Ironically, he nails it on the head when he admits all he is doing is contributing to the noise. If all he really wanted to do was "dispel myths," as he claims, he could have summed that up in ten sentences. The vast majority of the piece is unsubstantiated guesses that only serve to add more confusion.
_________________________


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#460222 - 02/06/14 11:29 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada
it is not so much what Robert (Bob) Weide has written, but the many ignorant comments below the article, made by people with obviously no knowledge or experience in this area.

so many ignorant people... so little time to educate them all.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#460226 - 02/06/14 05:26 PM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: victor-victim]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 614
Loc: where the shadows lie
Originally Posted By: victor-victim

so many ignorant people... so little time to educate them all.




This is so true. Website comments are a wasteland I don't even venture into. Most of those people are not in a place where they really want to learn. At most, a short comment cutting through the BS might give hope to someone else reading. But engaging online with random strangers is usually not worth the effort for me. I never even know how authentic they are being and how much they are just trying to get a rise out of people. So I don't even read the comments. At least article authors have a certain level of accountability that. Random anonymous internet trolls have nothing to lose.
_________________________


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#460266 - 02/07/14 04:51 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

Top
#460267 - 02/07/14 05:13 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jacob S]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada
This from journalist Michael Wolff of The Guardian.

It is a story of interlocking media deals and cultivated media cronies. Everybody is at work here. Everybody is someone else's instrument. Everybody is promoting something. Two decades have passed but the Allen-Farrow betrayal, break-up, and molestation charges are somehow, all of a sudden, as vivid as yesterday.

Here's a certainty: When you play out your personal dramas, hurt and self-interest in the media, it's a confection. You say what you have to say in the way you have to say it to give it media currency – and that's always far from the truth. Often, in fact, someone else says it for you. It's all planned. It's all rehearsed. This is craft. This is strategy. This is manipulation. This is spin.



This from The Guardian reporter Catherine Shoard

A representative for Allen said that he had read the article and found it "untrue and disgraceful" and that he "will be responding very soon". They added: "At the time, a thorough investigation was conducted by court appointed independent experts. The experts concluded there was no credible evidence of molestation; that Dylan Farrow had an inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality; and that Dylan Farrow had likely been coached by her mother Mia Farrow. No charges were ever filed."

This from People Magazine

"Of course Woody did not molest my sister," says Moses, who is estranged from Farrow and many of his siblings and is close to Allen and Soon-Yi. "She loved him and looked forward to seeing him when he would visit. She never hid from him until our mother succeeded in creating the atmosphere of fear and hate towards him. The day in question, there were six or seven of us in the house. We were all in public rooms and no one, not my father or sister, was off in any private spaces. My mother was conveniently out shopping. I don’t know if my sister really believes she was molested or is trying to please her mother. Pleasing my mother was very powerful motivation because to be on her wrong side was horrible."

"This is such a betrayal to me and my whole family,"
Dylan tells People Magazine in response to her brother's comments. "My memories are the truth and they are mine and I will live with that for the rest of my life."

"My mother never coached me," Dylan says. "She never planted false memories in my brain. My memories are mine. I remember them. She was distraught when I told her. When I came forward with my story she was hoping against hope that I had made it up. In one of the most heartbreaking conversations I have ever had, she sat me down and asked me if I was telling the truth. She said that Dad said he didn’t do anything. and I said, 'He's lying.' "


This also from People Magazine

Woody Allen is speaking out – and denying that he sexually abused his adopted daughter.

A rep for the usually press-shy director, 78, issued a brief response to the open letter from estranged daughter Dylan Farrow, who detailed what she alleged was sexual abuse she suffered when she was 7 years old.

"Mr. Allen has read the article and found it untrue and disgraceful," the rep tells PEOPLE. "He will be responding very soon."


This, too, from People Magazine
Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Her Woody Allen Allegations – and the Backlash

By K.C. Baker

"It took all of my strength and all of my emotional fortitude to do what I did this week in the hope that it would put the truth out there," says Dylan, 28, now a happily married writer. "That is my only ammunition. I don't have money or publicists or limos or fancy apartments in Manhattan. All I have is the truth and that is all I put out there."

She hopes her open letter will help sexual abuse victims come forward and seek help.

"I am hoping to help at least one person out there. And that's why I spoke out."



And more from People Magazine
Woody Allen Feels 'Overwhelming Sadness' at False Allegations, Says Attorney

By Tim Nudd

Woody Allen's attorney forcefully denied decades-old molestation allegations against the director Tuesday, but refused to blame Dylan Farrow for making them – saying she was coached as a child by her mother, Mia Farrow, to believe she had been sexually abused.

"His reaction is one of overwhelming sadness because of what has happened to Dylan," Elkan Abramowitz told NBC's Today show when asked how Allen, 78, reacted to his onetime adopted daughter's open letter in The New York Times claiming he abused her.

"She was a pawn in a huge fight between him and Mia Farrow years ago, and the idea that she was molested was implanted in her by her mother," Abramowitz said. "That memory is never going to go away. So the fact that she says this now, that it happened 20 years ago, is totally understandable."

Asked why a grown woman would lie – Dylan is now 28, married and living in Florida under a different name – Abramowitz replied: "In my view, she's not lying. I think she truly believes this happened. That's what the vice of this is. When you implant a story in a fragile 7-year-old's mind, it stays there forever. It never goes away."



_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#460268 - 02/07/14 05:30 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada


thank god for the voice of reason and compassion in this storm of worthless opinions from biased trolls and fools.

thanks for the link.

i found this article titled...

Don’t Listen to Woody Allen’s Biggest Defender
Why are so many journalists lauding Robert Weide’s sleazy, passive-aggressive attack on Mia Farrow and her daughter?
By Jessica Winter

here are some quotes:

The first thing you need to know is that this is what Robert Weide’s Twitter profile looks like.



How can we possibly trust a young woman’s firsthand account when we’ve got this fellow to patiently explain the situation to us?


Now let’s turn to the article itself, which promises a “closer examination” of charges that Allen molested his daughter. Here are some highlights from its first 1,800 words:

•Weide uses Dylan’s current name, though she prefers to keep it private. Later, when called out for this on Twitter, Weide justified the choice by digging up a 1 ½-year-old tweet from Mia Farrow that referred to Dylan by her current name.

•Weide clarifies that Farrow’s daughter Soon-Yi Previn, whose affair with Allen when she was 19 pulverized the Allen-Farrow household, was in no way like a family member to Allen, despite the fact that she was his children’s sister and his longtime partner’s daughter.

•Weide quotes Ronan Farrow’s famous condemnation of Allen—“He’s my father married to my sister. That makes me his son and his brother-in-law. That is such a moral transgression”—and then adds: “However, this particular dilemma might be resolved by Mia’s recent revelations that Ronan’s biological father may ‘possibly’ be Frank Sinatra, whom Farrow married in 1966, when she was 21 and the crooner was 50.” This passage doesn’t track—it’s not clear if the “particular dilemma” is the Woody/Soon-Yi relationship or Ronan’s feelings toward it. But the upshot is that if Farrow did indeed sleep around, then that’s a lucky break for Ronan, who can rest easy about the whole Soon-Yi situation.

•Weide then spends two more paragraphs auditing Mia Farrow’s sexual history. Alleged victims of sexual assault are commonly subjected to such scrutiny, but when we’re dealing with a 7-year-old, it seems her mother will serve just fine by proxy.


All of that is just an appetizer. It’s when Weide finally arrives at his ostensible subject—unpacking the child-molestation accusations—that the piece becomes most noxious.


Here is Dylan Farrow’s account of the events of Aug. 4, 1992, in her mother’s Connecticut home, called Frog Hollow, as it appeared in the Times:


When I was seven years old, Woody Allen took me by the hand and led me into a dim, closet-like attic on the second floor of our house. He told me to lay on my stomach and play with my brother’s electric train set. Then he sexually assaulted me.



And here is Weide’s:


During an unsupervised moment, Woody allegedly took Dylan into the attic and, shall we say, “touched her inappropriately.”



The “shall we say” is the worst rhetorical crime in a piece brimming with them, glibly framing an unconscionable act as a bit of innuendo. It’s the skeleton key to the entire article’s sneering cluelessness.


What’s most galling about Weide’s writing is its preening faux-gentility. He adopts the pose of a gentleman who is above the fray. He is “not here to slam Mia,” who is “an exceptional actress.” He is not “blaming the victim,” Weide insists. He is “merely floating scenarios to consider.”

The scenarios that he floats are thinly veiled smears, not-quite accusations that Weide shovels in at regular intervals. I’m not saying that Mia and Dylan Farrow are liars, he insists throughout the piece, but if you come to that conclusion then I wouldn’t disagree.

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
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#460269 - 02/07/14 05:55 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Disappointed]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: Disappointed


i feel compelled to post Dylan Farrow's complete letter here,
just in case the link stops working.

TRIGGER WARNING!!! SURVIVOR STORY !!

What’s your favorite Woody Allen movie? Before you answer, you should know: when I was seven years old, Woody Allen took me by the hand and led me into a dim, closet-like attic on the second floor of our house. He told me to lay on my stomach and play with my brother’s electric train set. Then he sexually assaulted me. He talked to me while he did it, whispering that I was a good girl, that this was our secret, promising that we’d go to Paris and I’d be a star in his movies. I remember staring at that toy train, focusing on it as it traveled in its circle around the attic. To this day, I find it difficult to look at toy trains.

For as long as I could remember, my father had been doing things to me that I didn’t like. I didn’t like how often he would take me away from my mom, siblings and friends to be alone with him. I didn’t like it when he would stick his thumb in my mouth. I didn’t like it when I had to get in bed with him under the sheets when he was in his underwear. I didn’t like it when he would place his head in my naked lap and breathe in and breathe out. I would hide under beds or lock myself in the bathroom to avoid these encounters, but he always found me. These things happened so often, so routinely, so skillfully hidden from a mother that would have protected me had she known, that I thought it was normal. I thought this was how fathers doted on their daughters. But what he did to me in the attic felt different. I couldn’t keep the secret anymore.

When I asked my mother if her dad did to her what Woody Allen did to me, I honestly did not know the answer. I also didn’t know the firestorm it would trigger. I didn’t know that my father would use his sexual relationship with my sister to cover up the abuse he inflicted on me. I didn’t know that he would accuse my mother of planting the abuse in my head and call her a liar for defending me. I didn’t know that I would be made to recount my story over and over again, to doctor after doctor, pushed to see if I’d admit I was lying as part of a legal battle I couldn’t possibly understand. At one point, my mother sat me down and told me that I wouldn’t be in trouble if I was lying – that I could take it all back. I couldn’t. It was all true. But sexual abuse claims against the powerful stall more easily. There were experts willing to attack my credibility. There were doctors willing to gaslight an abused child.

After a custody hearing denied my father visitation rights, my mother declined to pursue criminal charges, despite findings of probable cause by the State of Connecticut – due to, in the words of the prosecutor, the fragility of the “child victim.” Woody Allen was never convicted of any crime. That he got away with what he did to me haunted me as I grew up. I was stricken with guilt that I had allowed him to be near other little girls. I was terrified of being touched by men. I developed an eating disorder. I began cutting myself. That torment was made worse by Hollywood. All but a precious few (my heroes) turned a blind eye. Most found it easier to accept the ambiguity, to say, “who can say what happened,” to pretend that nothing was wrong. Actors praised him at awards shows. Networks put him on TV. Critics put him in magazines. Each time I saw my abuser’s face – on a poster, on a t-shirt, on television – I could only hide my panic until I found a place to be alone and fall apart.

Last week, Woody Allen was nominated for his latest Oscar. But this time, I refuse to fall apart. For so long, Woody Allen’s acceptance silenced me. It felt like a personal rebuke, like the awards and accolades were a way to tell me to shut up and go away. But the survivors of sexual abuse who have reached out to me – to support me and to share their fears of coming forward, of being called a liar, of being told their memories aren’t their memories – have given me a reason to not be silent, if only so others know that they don’t have to be silent either.

Today, I consider myself lucky. I am happily married. I have the support of my amazing brothers and sisters. I have a mother who found within herself a well of fortitude that saved us from the chaos a predator brought into our home.

But others are still scared, vulnerable, and struggling for the courage to tell the truth. The message that Hollywood sends matters for them.

What if it had been your child, Cate Blanchett? Louis CK? Alec Baldwin? What if it had been you, Emma Stone? Or you, Scarlett Johansson? You knew me when I was a little girl, Diane Keaton. Have you forgotten me?

Woody Allen is a living testament to the way our society fails the survivors of sexual assault and abuse.

So imagine your seven-year-old daughter being led into an attic by Woody Allen. Imagine she spends a lifetime stricken with nausea at the mention of his name. Imagine a world that celebrates her tormenter.

Are you imagining that? Now, what’s your favorite Woody Allen movie?

written by Dylan Farrow
_________________________
Victor|Victim

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#460295 - 02/07/14 10:47 PM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
MrEdd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 317
Loc: Texas
_________________________
Some Things are not problems to be solved, rather, they are facts which must be coped with over time.

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#460301 - 02/08/14 12:30 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
All of this is just too much bullshit. No child makes this stuff up. No parent brainwashes their child and puts them through a lifelong struggle with the after effects of CSA, just to settle a score.

The fact that the Farrow-Allen "family" was an unconventional one is being used to defend Allen's blatent violation of boundries. Yes, Allen and Farrow never married, nor did they live together. Yes, Mia Farrow had an unusual family of 14 kids, some she gave birth to, fathered by Allen (supposedly) and some fathered by former husband Andre Previn. Some She adopted with Allen, and some she adopted with Previn. And some she adopted on her own.

When Allen began having sex with Farrow's adopted daughter Soon-Yi (who's adoptive father was Previn), it is claimed that there was nothing inapropriate about it. The girl was above the age of consent, and she never considered Allen to be a father or step-father. Really? Here's a photo of a "family" outing. Notice the presence of Soon-Yi in her early teens. Now consider the implications of Allen, just a few years later having sex with her. That alone defines him as a predator. Is it really such a stretch to imagine him preying on other children in the household?


And then comes Allen's allegation that Farrow's negative reaction to their sexual relationship was just that of a woman scorned. That Farrow planted the molestation story in Dylan's mind to pay him back for leaving her for a younger woman (who happens to be her daughter). Really? More likely it was the reaction of a woman determined to protect her children from a sexual predator.

Dylan Farrow's account of what happened and the effects it has had on her life, rings true to our ears in a way that, I suppose, is not perceived by the general public. But the only way the general public will begin to get it, is if we have the courage displayed by Dylan Farrow, to disclose what happened, and how its affected us. If we are truly 1 in 6 boys, and 1 in 4 girls strong, then there is a potential to change our society by breaking our silence.

Jude
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

Top
#460305 - 02/08/14 03:11 AM Woody Allen Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: Jude
But the only way the general public will begin to get it, is if we have the courage displayed by Dylan Farrow, to disclose what happened, and how its affected us. If we are truly 1 in 6 boys, and 1 in 4 girls strong, then there is a potential to change our society by breaking our silence.


amen! jude.
you are preaching to the choir.
break the silence!

looks like the accused is breaking his silence.
this open letter from Woody Allen has just been published.
i thought it should be posted here.


an open letter from Woody Allen in response to Dylan Farrow's open letter.

Warning: Triggers!

_________________________________

TWENTY-ONE years ago, when I first heard Mia Farrow had accused me of child molestation, I found the idea so ludicrous I didn’t give it a second thought. We were involved in a terribly acrimonious breakup, with great enmity between us and a custody battle slowly gathering energy. The self-serving transparency of her malevolence seemed so obvious I didn’t even hire a lawyer to defend myself. It was my show business attorney who told me she was bringing the accusation to the police and I would need a criminal lawyer.

I naïvely thought the accusation would be dismissed out of hand because of course, I hadn’t molested Dylan and any rational person would see the ploy for what it was. Common sense would prevail. After all, I was a 56-year-old man who had never before (or after) been accused of child molestation. I had been going out with Mia for 12 years and never in that time did she ever suggest to me anything resembling misconduct. Now, suddenly, when I had driven up to her house in Connecticut one afternoon to visit the kids for a few hours, when I would be on my raging adversary’s home turf, with half a dozen people present, when I was in the blissful early stages of a happy new relationship with the woman I’d go on to marry — that I would pick this moment in time to embark on a career as a child molester should seem to the most skeptical mind highly unlikely. The sheer illogic of such a crazy scenario seemed to me dispositive.

Notwithstanding, Mia insisted that I had abused Dylan and took her immediately to a doctor to be examined. Dylan told the doctor she had not been molested. Mia then took Dylan out for ice cream, and when she came back with her the child had changed her story. The police began their investigation; a possible indictment hung in the balance. I very willingly took a lie-detector test and of course passed because I had nothing to hide. I asked Mia to take one and she wouldn’t. Last week a woman named Stacey Nelkin, whom I had dated many years ago, came forward to the press to tell them that when Mia and I first had our custody battle 21 years ago, Mia had wanted her to testify that she had been underage when I was dating her, despite the fact this was untrue. Stacey refused. I include this anecdote so we all know what kind of character we are dealing with here. One can imagine in learning this why she wouldn’t take a lie-detector test.

Meanwhile the Connecticut police turned for help to a special investigative unit they relied on in such cases, the Child Sexual Abuse Clinic of the Yale-New Haven Hospital. This group of impartial, experienced men and women whom the district attorney looked to for guidance as to whether to prosecute, spent months doing a meticulous investigation, interviewing everyone concerned, and checking every piece of evidence. Finally they wrote their conclusion which I quote here: “It is our expert opinion that Dylan was not sexually abused by Mr. Allen. Further, we believe that Dylan’s statements on videotape and her statements to us during our evaluation do not refer to actual events that occurred to her on August 4th, 1992... In developing our opinion we considered three hypotheses to explain Dylan’s statements. First, that Dylan’s statements were true and that Mr. Allen had sexually abused her; second, that Dylan’s statements were not true but were made up by an emotionally vulnerable child who was caught up in a disturbed family and who was responding to the stresses in the family; and third, that Dylan was coached or influenced by her mother, Ms. Farrow. While we can conclude that Dylan was not sexually abused, we can not be definite about whether the second formulation by itself or the third formulation by itself is true. We believe that it is more likely that a combination of these two formulations best explains Dylan’s allegations of sexual abuse.”

Could it be any clearer? Mr. Allen did not abuse Dylan; most likely a vulnerable, stressed-out 7-year-old was coached by Mia Farrow. This conclusion disappointed a number of people. The district attorney was champing at the bit to prosecute a celebrity case, and Justice Elliott Wilk, the custody judge, wrote a very irresponsible opinion saying when it came to the molestation, “we will probably never know what occurred.”

But we did know because it had been determined and there was no equivocation about the fact that no abuse had taken place. Justice Wilk was quite rough on me and never approved of my relationship with Soon-Yi, Mia’s adopted daughter, who was then in her early 20s. He thought of me as an older man exploiting a much younger woman, which outraged Mia as improper despite the fact she had dated a much older Frank Sinatra when she was 19. In fairness to Justice Wilk, the public felt the same dismay over Soon-Yi and myself, but despite what it looked like our feelings were authentic and we’ve been happily married for 16 years with two great kids, both adopted. (Incidentally, coming on the heels of the media circus and false accusations, Soon-Yi and I were extra carefully scrutinized by both the adoption agency and adoption courts, and everyone blessed our adoptions.)

Mia took custody of the children and we went our separate ways.

I was heartbroken. Moses was angry with me. Ronan I didn’t know well because Mia would never let me get close to him from the moment he was born and Dylan, whom I adored and was very close to and about whom Mia called my sister in a rage and said, “He took my daughter, now I’ll take his.” I never saw her again nor was I able to speak with her no matter how hard I tried. I still loved her deeply, and felt guilty that by falling in love with Soon-Yi I had put her in the position of being used as a pawn for revenge. Soon-Yi and I made countless attempts to see Dylan but Mia blocked them all, spitefully knowing how much we both loved her but totally indifferent to the pain and damage she was causing the little girl merely to appease her own vindictiveness.

Here I quote Moses Farrow, 14 at the time: “My mother drummed it into me to hate my father for tearing apart the family and sexually molesting my sister.” Moses is now 36 years old and a family therapist by profession. “Of course Woody did not molest my sister,” he said. “She loved him and looked forward to seeing him when he would visit. She never hid from him until our mother succeeded in creating the atmosphere of fear and hate towards him.” Dylan was 7, Ronan 4, and this was, according to Moses, the steady narrative year after year.

I pause here for a quick word on the Ronan situation. Is he my son or, as Mia suggests, Frank Sinatra’s? Granted, he looks a lot like Frank with the blue eyes and facial features, but if so what does this say? That all during the custody hearing Mia lied under oath and falsely represented Ronan as our son? Even if he is not Frank’s, the possibility she raises that he could be, indicates she was secretly intimate with him during our years. Not to mention all the money I paid for child support. Was I supporting Frank’s son? Again, I want to call attention to the integrity and honesty of a person who conducts her life like that.

NOW it’s 21 years later and Dylan has come forward with the accusations that the Yale experts investigated and found false. Plus a few little added creative flourishes that seem to have magically appeared during our 21-year estrangement.

Not that I doubt Dylan hasn’t come to believe she’s been molested, but if from the age of 7 a vulnerable child is taught by a strong mother to hate her father because he is a monster who abused her, is it so inconceivable that after many years of this indoctrination the image of me Mia wanted to establish had taken root? Is it any wonder the experts at Yale had picked up the maternal coaching aspect 21 years ago? Even the venue where the fabricated molestation was supposed to have taken place was poorly chosen but interesting. Mia chose the attic of her country house, a place she should have realized I’d never go to because it is a tiny, cramped, enclosed spot where one can hardly stand up and I’m a major claustrophobe. The one or two times she asked me to come in there to look at something, I did, but quickly had to run out. Undoubtedly the attic idea came to her from the Dory Previn song, “With My Daddy in the Attic.” It was on the same record as the song Dory Previn had written about Mia’s betraying their friendship by insidiously stealing her husband, André, “Beware of Young Girls.” One must ask, did Dylan even write the letter or was it at least guided by her mother? Does the letter really benefit Dylan or does it simply advance her mother’s shabby agenda? That is to hurt me with a smear. There is even a lame attempt to do professional damage by trying to involve movie stars, which smells a lot more like Mia than Dylan.

After all, if speaking out was really a necessity for Dylan, she had already spoken out months earlier in Vanity Fair. Here I quote Moses Farrow again: “Knowing that my mother often used us as pawns, I cannot trust anything that is said or written from anyone in the family.” Finally, does Mia herself really even believe I molested her daughter? Common sense must ask: Would a mother who thought her 7-year-old daughter was sexually abused by a molester (a pretty horrific crime), give consent for a film clip of her to be used to honor the molester at the Golden Globes?

Of course, I did not molest Dylan. I loved her and hope one day she will grasp how she has been cheated out of having a loving father and exploited by a mother more interested in her own festering anger than her daughter’s well-being. Being taught to hate your father and made to believe he molested you has already taken a psychological toll on this lovely young woman, and Soon-Yi and I are both hoping that one day she will understand who has really made her a victim and reconnect with us, as Moses has, in a loving, productive way. No one wants to discourage abuse victims from speaking out, but one must bear in mind that sometimes there are people who are falsely accused and that is also a terribly destructive thing. (This piece will be my final word on this entire matter and no one will be responding on my behalf to any further comments on it by any party. Enough people have been hurt.)

- Woody Allen


now read this from a People Magazine interview from 1976.

woody allen says...

"I'm open-minded about sex. I'm not above reproach; if anything, I'm below reproach. I mean, if I was caught in a love nest with 15 12-year-old girls tomorrow, people would think, yeah, I always knew that about him." Allen pauses. "Nothing I could come up with would surprise anyone," he ventures helplessly. "I admit to it all."



this is from judges of the custody court case.

ALLEN v. FARROW

197 A.D.2d 327 (1994)

Woody Allen, Appellant,
v.
Maria V. Farrow, Also Known as Mia Farrow, Respondent

Appellate Division of the Supreme Court of the State of New York, First Department. May 12, 1994

"In January of 1992, Mr. Allen took the photographs of Ms. Previn, which were discovered on the mantelpiece in his apartment by Ms. Farrow and were introduced into evidence at the IAS proceeding. Mr. Allen in his trial testimony stated that he took the photos at Ms. Previn's suggestion and that he considered them erotic and not pornographic. We have viewed the photographs and do not share Mr. Allen's characterization of them. We find the fact that Mr. Allen took them at a time when he was formally assuming a legal responsibility for two of Ms. Previn's siblings to be totally unacceptable. The distinction Mr. Allen makes between Ms. Farrow's other children and Dylan, Satchel and Moses is lost on this Court. The children themselves do not draw the same distinction that Mr. Allen does. This is sadly demonstrated by the profound effect his relationship with Ms. Previn has had on the entire family. Allen's testimony that the photographs of Ms. Previn "were taken, as I said before, between two consenting adults wanting to do this" demonstrates a chosen ignorance of his and Ms. Previn's relationships to Ms. Farrow, his three children and Ms. Previn's other siblings. His continuation of the relationship, viewed in the best possible light, shows a distinct absence of judgment. It demonstrates to this Court Mr. Allen's tendency to place inappropriate emphasis on his own wants and needs and to minimize and even ignore those of his children. At the very minimum, it demonstrates an absence of any parenting skills."

"While the tendency of Dylan to withdraw into a fantasy and the inconsistencies in her account of the events of August 4, 1992, noted particularly by the Yale-New Haven team, must be taken into account in the evaluation of these serious allegations, the testimony given at trial by the individuals caring for the children that day, the videotape of Dylan made by Ms. Farrow the following day and the accounts of Dylan's behavior toward Mr. Allen both before and after the alleged instance of abuse, suggest that the abuse did occur."


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#460310 - 02/08/14 07:27 AM Re: Woody Allen Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
KMCINVA Offline
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Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1790
The backlash that Dylan is experiencing can be destructive to the victim, who only wants their life back. I hope she is surrounded by strong supporters. As I have read here and my own experience, I know so many are subject to a backlash that could kill or hold one back from healing. People are so insensitive to the impact of CSA on the the victim. In this situation, Allen a highly praised director/producer is able to use his persona to hide his complicity--people overlook the victim and support the abuser or those that in some way pushed the victim to the edge to disclose the abuse. Then wham, people turn their backs and accuse the victim--once again re-victimizing the victim. It would be best to let those not involved in the abuse to step aside and let the victim heal.

If people look at their actions and the impact it has on the victim they might think otherwise, but then some thrive on hurting others to hide their issues and complicity in ensuring the victim is further harmed.

I do believe their are issues in the Farrow/Allen household. Mia had her issues and the children's conflicting views of the household is telling, especially since the disclosure only comes after the child has freed themselves from the control of others. I heard similar stories from others in support groups. However, despite this dysfunctional aspect, Dylan is suffering now from what happened a few decades ago and she is the one who needs support. Siblings, parents, children, friends need to put their opinions behind them, work together to ensure she heals. But it seems this will not be the case--but their is hope that people will reflect on their actions and realize continuing these actions will only bring further harm to Dylan.

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#460311 - 02/08/14 07:32 AM Re: Woody Allen Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
KMCINVA Offline
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Registered: 08/31/11
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#460321 - 02/08/14 11:49 AM Re: Woody Allen Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
randombreeze Offline


Registered: 02/03/14
Posts: 60
Loc: WNY
Sorry if anyone's touched on this as I haven't read all the replies yet. I stopped reading Allen's letter after this sentence:

"TWENTY-ONE years ago, when I first heard Mia Farrow had accused me of child molestation, I found the idea so ludicrous I didn’t give it a second thought".

Really? Doesn't this monster have a publicist or proof reader that screened the letter to assure his words at least sounded believable? Who doesn't give allegations of ANY crime, let alone one committed against children, a second thought?

After looking at Soon-Yi's face in that photo I have little doubt the abuse inflicted on her likely started long before their "realtionship" began after Mia left him. Just horrific.
_________________________
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#460328 - 02/08/14 01:04 PM Re: Woody Allen Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: KMCINVA]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada
it is my opinion that even if woody allen was charged and convicted of child abuse, his fans would still stand by him and stick to their stories.
even if he confessed, or was proven guilty beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt...
even if there was a "secret sex video" of the actual event released on the internet...

his talent for film production and his international fame,
will continue to attract followers, like moths to a flame.

i have seen this type of thing over and over again in the entertainment industry.
it is sad, but ultimately the public does not truly understand, nor do they care about the victim.
it has been my unfortunate experience that the average unabused person cannot consciously connect with victims.
even abuse victims who have not disclosed or dealt with their own feelings about their own sexual abuse can and will identify with the perpetrator. hence the perpetuation cycle.

it comes down to perception of power,
the victim is perceived as "weak" or "loser", wheras the predator is perceived as "strong" and "winner".

show business is a weapon of mass distraction.
this is not news.
this is not even new.
this is entertainment.

consider this quote from a roman poet - written about 100 AD.

"Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the People have abdicated our duties; for the People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses."


Originally Posted By: original latin
"iam pridem, ex quo suffragia nulli / uendimus, effudit curas; nam qui dabat olim / imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se / continet atque duas tantum res anxius optat, / panem et circenses."
- Juvenal, Satire 10.77–81
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#460329 - 02/08/14 01:16 PM Re: Woody Allen Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: KMCINVA]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: KMCINVA


this hits the nail on the head!

i would urge caution to sensitive readers.
very triggering.

took me a while to get through it, but it carries a powerful message.

i hope the unabused read this.
it sounds like truth.
the truth is not beautiful,
it is blunt and brutal.

-------------------------
BIG TRIGGER WARNING !
-------------------------
Woody Allen Is Not a Monster. He Is a Person. Like My Father.

Last week, an impassioned letter from a sexual abuse survivor surfaced online. Its author had been at the center a scandal that attracted national media attention. The letter's vulnerability, and its bravery, gave me chills.

Dylan Farrow didn't write it. It was the suicide note of Jesse Ryan Loskarn, a Republican congressional aide arrested last year on charges of distributing child pornography. Loskarn wrote it before hanging himself in his parents' basement while awaiting trial. It made no excuses for his decision to view and distribute child pornography, and told his own history of sexual abuse.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=65212&Number=459649

Loskarn's letter is a painful account of life within the hermetically sealed world of a child sexual abuse survivor, as well as a shocking illustration of how most pedophiles reproduce in our culture. In his alienation, Loskarn discovered images that externalized the very memories that he had worked for decades to push out of his consciousness. And then he got hooked, as if the images were some sort of talisman of his fractured self made whole again.

I understand this. I have never viewed child pornography in my life, but I recall telling my therapist several years ago that part of me desperately wanted to see it, not out of any prurience or titillation, but a deep desire to see a world into which I had been forced at a young age.

have extremely disturbing drawings I made as a kindergartner, a story I wrote when I was six years old carefully trying to tell my mother I had been molested, and a clinical history that could have easily been extracted from a child psychology textbook. But the sort of forensic evidence that some strident folks are demanding of Dylan Farrow eludes me, too.

On a clear blue Saturday afternoon in the summer of 2006, I confronted my father for sexually abusing me, and for the years of quiet emotional abuse that followed. I had been staying in my parents' home for several months after breaking up with a girlfriend in New Haven, Connecticut. I like to think that, in the days leading up to my attack, he knew what was about to happen. That he was almost proud of me for having the balls to finally stand up for myself. I pictured him like a man on the lam, peeking through filthy venetian blinds, half-hoping the cops will just hurry up and break down the door.

Earlier that week, I had disclosed my abuse, for the first time in my life, to my therapist. The world didn't end, as I genuinely feared it might. "It's like reality is right where I left it," I told him, intoxicated with the vivid feeling of finally being alive again. I left his office to walk back to my parents' house, and the full vibrancy of the world rushed back to me, like a time lapse of the twenty five years I had largely missed.

There are a number of popular tropes around child sexual abuse inour culture. Two are preeminent: One calls us liars when we come forward, another calls us crazy. There is a notion that we should be skeptical when an adult comes forward and names their abuser, that we should carefully question their motivations lest we be duped by someone who is manufacturing, or at least strategically re-crafting, a story of abuse to shirk responsibility for their own transgressions. There is also the popular notion that "false memories" of child abuse are common.

Those of us who were abused by a family member, or a family friend, have shared banal time and space with the sort of people who molest kids. We have sat in their cars in traffic and gone to diners with them, watched them scarf cheeseburgers or try to quit smoking, need an aspirin. And mostly, they are not utter sociopaths or sadists.

We are in the paradoxical situation of being subject to pure evil and knowing from experience that its representatives are rarely pure evil themselves. No one is. We have almost certainly seen at least a flicker of innocent joy or generosity in their face. We have puzzled over this person who hurt us, and considered the fact that they too were children once. And we know that many of them were also sexually abused as children. At some point in healing, we just know that there will never be, could never be enough jails to contain this – that it would never work anyway.

We are left with a problem: The greater the tenor of condemnation against these perps, the higher the stakes in telling our own stories, and the higher their own stakes in defending themselves.

If Woody Allen is now written into history as a monstrous child molester, child abuse is more likely to continue. Because if we are unable to stomach the fact that Woody is not a monster but a human being who did something monstrous, we will continue to stoke the fires of archetype, perpetuating the notion of the picture-perfect pedophile, the one whose evil shines through like a 100-watt black lightbulb.

I admire Woody for rejecting Hollywood awards culture and consistently churning out reasonably watchable films.

Yet I know too that Dylan Farrow is telling the truth. And it makes me sick to witness the vile double standard by which our society measures abuse survivors – questioning their credibility based on their behavior, when that behavior is likely the result of the trauma they have endured. Who in the world finds it plausible that Dylan was an emotionally disturbed kid who concocted a false memory from her inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality, rather than a kid who had been systematically traumatized within the sanctity of an otherwise reasonably stable home and so could not fully integrate the experience?

We don't really just condemn the sexualization of children. Instead, we condemn the very existence of child abuse altogether. It's as if the crime includes being victimized by it, or responsible for bringing it into the light. We take an ontological roach spray to the whole event, either denying its status in reality altogether, or competing with one another to proclaim the most exquisite forms of torture for the perpetrators. I can't count how many times I've seen the most strident liberal break character to loudly call for the prison rape of perpetrators.

That this darkness is actually woven into and throughout the fabric of our society—that these abusers are among us—is simply too much to bear. So the darkness is ignored except for the most distilled, theatrical, and viscerally repellent cases.

The loudest voices questioning Dylan's veracity sound uncannily like the same bloodthirsty mobs who seek the sadistic annihilation of confirmed, unambiguously guilty perpetrators. As though, were she able to proffer the forensic evidence they demand, they would swap out their moral subroutines and swarm Woody's doorsteps bearing torches.

There is an in-between, and it's where life is lived, for better and worse. The appropriate response toward someone who has molested a kid is not violence. And the primary concern when confronted with allegations of abuse shouldn't be to make sure that they justify the sacred level of condemnation we reserve for those we know for certain, without doubt, are wolves in sheep's clothing. Monsters.

My own father is a reasonably distinguished medical researcher. Neither of us is in the public eye, yet even if we were, there would be little risk of his contributions being marred by any of it. I can't picture a terminal cancer patient refusing an experimental therapy on the grounds that its inventor molested a child.

Years later, my father broke down on the phone, crying, and acknowledged what he had done. That, the simplest truth, was all I ever wanted.

Most of us would sooner discard all parties who have been tainted by this event than we would look at how tenuous the sanctity of children really is, how commonplace abuse is, or see the capacity for the mostly good to do periodic evil. We live in the same universe as those who abuse kids. We walk among them. If we want to end the sexual abuse of children, it will begin with the recognition that we are simply not that different from them.
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#460345 - 02/08/14 07:32 PM Re: Woody Allen Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: victor-victim]
randombreeze Offline


Registered: 02/03/14
Posts: 60
Loc: WNY
Victor,

Thanks for sharing that article. I'm suffering from a bit of overload regarding the sheer volume of stories and articles relating to this case, but this stunning piece by Mr. Warwick brings a refreshing victim's perspective on the issue of CSA. Incredibly eloquent and powerfully written.


Peace & Love, Paul
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"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky"- Rabindranath Tagore

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#460351 - 02/08/14 09:00 PM Re: Woody Allen Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Good links. Fascinating and relevant reads. I also am finding an overload, but each of the links I have clicked on have given me something that I find familiar and I am glad some in the media and in the mental health venues are showing support for the VICTIM.

Earlier, before the thread was started, I had watched an animated, frustrated, and strangely offended Barbara Walters clip in which she defended Allen and became rather ugly with her co hosts from "the View" when they discussed the Dylan Farrow reminder to the world that she had been abused.

I'll see if I can find the link to that clip just to add and support what we are saying here… which is that this is a world in which the victims of sexual abuse and assault have an overwhelmingly difficult time, even when all behaviors of the perpetrator point to predatory behavior. Walters actually declared she was a "good friend" and found it impossible to believe… or something along those lines.

Thanks, Jude, for establishing this thread.



Barbara Walters defends Woody Allen video from "the View"




Edited by ThisMan (02/08/14 09:07 PM)
Edit Reason: video link added
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#460368 - 02/09/14 04:12 AM Allen vs. Farrow custody court documents. [Re: ThisMan]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada
i wonder if anyone has actually read the court documents.

i have the pdf document if anyone wants the link i can pm it to you.

i have taken some effort to transcribe some of the more relevant parts into text format.

here are some details.
written by New York State Supreme Court Justice Elliott Wilk

TRIGGER WARNING

Mr. Allen's relationship with Dylan remains unresolved. The evidence suggests that it is unlikely that he could be successfully prosecuted for sexual abuse. I am less certain, however, than is the Yale-New Haven team, that the evidence proves conclusively that there was no sexual abuse.

Both Dr.Coates and Dr.Schultz expressed their opinions that Mr.Allen did not sexually abuse Dylan. Neither Dr.Coates nor Dr.Schultz has expertise in the field of child sexual abuse. I believe that the opinions of Dr.Coates and Dr.Schultz may have colored by their loyalty to Mr.Allen. I also believe that therapists would have a natural reluctance to accept the possibility that an act of sexual abuse occurred on their watch. I have considered their opinions, but do not find their testimony to be persuasive with respect to sexual abuse or visitation.

I have also considered the report of the Yale-New Haven team and the deposition testimony of Dr.John M. Leventhal. The Yale-New Haven investigation was conducted over a six-month period by Dr.Levanthal, a pediatrican; Dr.Julia Hamilton, who has a Ph.D. in social work; and Ms.Jennifer Sawyer, who has a master's degree in social work. Responsibilty for different aspects of the investigation was divided among the team. The notes of the team members were destroyed prior to the issuance of the report, which, presumably, is an amalgamation of their independent impressions and observations. The unavailability of the notes, together with their unwillingness to testify at this trial except through the deposition of Dr.Levanthal, compromised my ability to scrutinize their findings and resulted in a report which was sanitized and, therefore, less credible.

Dr.Stephen Herman, a clinical psychiatrist who has extensive familiarity with child abuse cases, was called as a witness by Ms.Farrow to comment on the Yale-New Haven report. I share his reservations about the reliability of the report.

Dr.Herman faulted the Yale-New Haven team (1) for making visitation recommendations without seeing the parent interact with the child; (2) for failing to support adequately their conclusion that Dylan has a thought disorder; (3) for drawing any conclusions about Satchel, whom they never say; (4) for finding that there was no abuse when the supporting data was inconclusive; and (5) for recommending that Ms.Farrow enter into therapy. In addition, I do not think that is was appropriate for Yale-New Haven, without notice to the parties or their counsel, to exceed its mandate and make observations and recommendations which might have an impact on existing litigation in another jurisdiction.

Unlike Yale-New Haven, I am not persuaded that the videotape of Dylan is the product of leading questions or of the child's fantasy.

Richard Marcus, a retired New York City police officer, called by Mr.Allen, testified that he worked with the police sex crimes unit for six years. He claimed to have a intuitive ability to know if a person is truthful or not. He concluded "based on my experience", that Dylan lacked credibility. I did not find his testimony to be insightful.

I agree with Dr.Herman and Dr.Brodzinsky that we will probably never know what happened on August 4, 1992. The credible testimony of Ms.Farrow, Dr.Coates, Dr.Levanthal and Mr.Allen does, however, prove that Mr.Allen's behavior toward Dylan was grossly inappropriate and that measures must be taken to protect her.

Mr.Allen's request for immediate visitation with Dylan is denied. It is unclear whether Mr.Allen will ever develop the insight and judgment necessary for him to relate to Dylan appropriately. According to Dr.Brodzinsky, even if Dylan was not sexually abused, she feels victimized by her father's relationship with her sister. Dylan has recently begun treatment with a new therapist. Now that this trial is concluded, she is entitled to the time and space necessary to create a protective environment that will promote the therapeutic process. A significant goal of that therapy is to encourage her to fulfill her individual potential, including the resilience to deal with Mr.Allen in a manner which is not injurious to her.

Ms.Farrow, Casey Pascal, Sophie Raven (Dylan's French tutor), and Dr.Coates testified that Mr.Allen focused on Dylan to the exclusion of her siblings, even when Satchel and Moses were present.

Dr.Coates observed: "I understand why she was worried, because it [Mr.Allen's relationship with Dylan] was intense, ... I did not see it as sexual, but I saw it as inappropriately intense because it excluded everybody else, and it placed a demand on the child for a kind of acknowledgment that I felt should not be placed on a child."

On August 4, 1992, Mr.Allen travelled to Ms.Farrow's Connecticut vacation home to spend time with his children. Earlier in the day, Casey Pascal had come for a visit with her three young children and their babysitter, Alison Strickland. Ms.Farrow and Ms.Pascal were shopping when Mr.Allen arrived. Those present were Ms.Pascal's three children; Ms.Strickland; Kristie Groteke, a babysitter employed by Ms.Farrow; Sophie Berge, a French tutor for the children; Dylan; and Satchel.

Ms.Farrow had previously instructed Ms.Groteke that Mr.Allen was not to be left alone with Dylan. For a period of fifteen or twenty minutes during the afternoon, Ms.Groteke was unable to locate Mr.Allen or Dylan. After looking for them in the house, she assumed that they were outside with the others. But neither Ms.Berge nor Ms.Stickland was with Mr.Allen or Dylan. Ms.Groteke made no mention of this to Ms.Farrow on August 4.

During a different portion of the day, Ms.Stickland went to the television room in search of one of Ms.Pascal's children. She observed Mr.Allen kneeling in front of Dylan with his head in her lap, facing her body. Dylan was sitting on the couch staring vacantly in the direction of a television set.

After Ms.Farrow returned home, Ms.Berge noticed that Dylan was not wearing anything under sundress. She told Ms.Farrow, who asked Ms.Groteke to put underpants on Dylan.

Ms.Stickland testified that during the evening of August 4, she told Ms.Pascal, "I had seen something at Mia's that day that was bothering me." She revealed what she had seen in the television room. On August 5, Ms.Pascal telephoned Ms.Farrow to tell her what Ms.Stickland had observed.

Ms.Farrow testified that after she hung up the telephone, she asked Dylan, who was sitting next to her, "whether is was true that daddy had his face in her lap yesterday."

Ms.Farrow testified: "Dylan said yes. And then she said that she didn't like it one bit, no, he was breathing into her, into her legs, she said. And that he was holding her around the waist and I said, why didn't you get up and she said she tried to but that he put his hands underneath her and touched her. And she showed me where... Her behind."

Because she was already uncomfortable with Mr.Allen's inappropriate behavior toward Dylan and because she believed that her concerns were not being taken seriously enough by Dr.Schultz and Dr.Coates, Ms.Farrow videotaped Dylan's statements. Over the next twenty-four hours, Dylan told Ms.Farrow that she had been with Mr.Allen in the attic and that he had touched her privates with his finger.

After Dylan's first comments, Ms.Farrow telephoned her attorney for guidance. She was advised to bring Dylan to her local pediatrician, which she did immediately. Dylan did not repeat the accusation of sexual abuse during this visit and Ms.Farrow was advised to return with Dylan on the following day. On the trip home, she explained to her mother that she did not like talking about her privates. On August 6, when Ms.Farrow went back to Dr.Kavirajan's office, Dylan repeated what she had told her mother on August 5. A medical examination conducted on August 9 showed no physical evidence of sexual abuse.

On December 30, 1992, Dylan was interviewed by a representative of the Connecticut State Police. She told them--at a time Ms.Farrow calculates to be the fall of 1991--that while at Mr.Allen's apartment, she saw him and Soon-Yi having sex. Her reporting was childlike but graphic.

Ten days before Yale-New Haven concluded its investigation, Dylan told Ms.Farrow, for the first time, that in Connecticut, while she was climbing up the ladder to the bunk bed, Mr.Allen put his hands under her shorts and touched her. Ms.Farrow testified that as Dylan said this, "she was illustrating graphically where in the genital area."

findings of New York State Supreme Court Justice Elliott Wilk



please read the entire court document. before you commit to any comments or conclusions.

i was unable to transcribe it all.

this is an official court document which includes the findings and conclusions of an actual Judge.

it also includes witness testimony.
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#460371 - 02/09/14 06:46 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada


"It is my opinion that Woody Allen is an incestuous pedophile and I believe Dylan Farrow. In general, I am opposed to psychological commentary on stories in the news because one doesn't know the story behind the story. I am certainly opposed to false accusations and often defend people when they are the subject of witch hunts. This too is a serious problem. But in this case I make an exception. Of course I can’t draw this conclusion with absolute certainty because that is not possible. I wasn’t there. But I do conclude that sexual molestation did happen. This had already been my conclusion prior to reading Dylan Farrow’s letter, on the basis of his marriage to Soon-Yi.

We already know that he married a daughter. The idea that Soon-Yi was adopted and this is used to vindicate him is absurd. The explanation that he and Mia did not live together does not change anything. They adopted a number of children together. This was a family, albeit not traditional, but a family. This is not a stretch. This is fact. I have never heard of any father marrying a daughter or daughteroid. But Woody Allen did. America’s celebrity obsession actually rationalized that this was OK. Uhmm, this is not OK. It was disturbing that he got away with this in the first place. What about the poor girl? Is there any possibility that he and Soon-Yi didn’t have sex before marriage? Perhaps she had been the Platonic love of his life?

The reason why I believe its important to take a stand here is because incestuous pedophilia is very, very destructive to the victim. I have treated a number of such patients. I have also treated incestuous abusers. And its almost impossible to prove. And they never admit it. Most of the time the men who commit incestuous pedophilia get away with it and the child is destroyed. And these men do not have as much power, prestige, money and devoted followers, as Woody Allen. He’s a very powerful man.

On the basis of my experience with both victims and victimizers, Dylan Farrow’s letter rings true, as well as the support of the rest of the family. The whole story has the familiar hallmarks that pertained to cases that I have treated. How could Hollywood, his bevy of actresses (who support a very puzzling form of feminism), never mind their personal betrayal of Dylan, and America at large support such a travesty? It makes no difference that he is a successful ‘artist’. As is typical of the rich, celebrity, and famous, he gets a pass.

Why do we idolize and admire actor celebrities who make their living pretending they are other people. I’m not sure that this qualifies them to be our moral guides. And as always, the true victim, this innocent little girl, who he destroyed, is steamrolled by rich male celebrity power. The victims never have a voice. She is vilified and attacked along with the rest of the Farrow family as if they are some kind of sore sports.

An incestuous pedophile is a common criminal. We in the psychiatric, psychological community need to stand up against this evil. To remain silent is to condone it. I love Dylan Farrow’s first and last line “What’s your favorite Woody Allen movie?” This ought to generate disgust.
"

written by Robert A. Berezin
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#460587 - 02/12/14 11:29 PM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
Hey,

I've been thinking about this for the past week. Spoke to my T about it. Been wondering, why am I so drawn to this story? I am not a "celebrity watcher". Don't read People magazine. Don't watch Entertainment Tonight. Don't usually give a shit about who's banging who.

I guess I've realized that this story makes me angry. Angry that a little girl got molested. Angry that the perp got away with it, and kept his reputation intact. Angry that even 20 years later when that girl is a woman and tries to tell her story, she's dismissed as being just a pathetic creature, manipulated into telling a lie by a vindictive mother. Angry that the public is so gullible that they choose buy into this.

But on a personal level, its me who feels abused and dismissed. Its me who finds no justice. Its me who cannot even have the satisfaction of publicly shaming my abuser. Its me who has to live with its effects on me. I feel sympathy for Dylan Farrow, and am proud of her for speaking out. But its me feeling this pain and anger. Dammit, I am so tired of these feelings.
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Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
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#460595 - 02/13/14 12:08 AM Re: Dylan Farrow Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3598
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: Jude
Hey,

I've been thinking about this for the past week. Spoke to my T about it. Been wondering, why am I so drawn to this story? I am not a "celebrity watcher". Don't read People magazine. Don't watch Entertainment Tonight. Don't usually give a shit about who's banging who.

I guess I've realized that this story makes me angry. Angry that a little girl got molested. Angry that the perp got away with it, and kept his reputation intact. Angry that even 20 years later when that girl is a woman and tries to tell her story, she's dismissed as being just a pathetic creature, manipulated into telling a lie by a vindictive mother. Angry that the public is so gullible that they choose buy into this.

But on a personal level, its me who feels abused and dismissed. Its me who finds no justice. Its me who cannot even have the satisfaction of publicly shaming my abuser. Its me who has to live with its effects on me. I feel sympathy for Dylan Farrow, and am proud of her for speaking out. But its me feeling this pain and anger. Dammit, I am so tired of these feelings.


me, too.
the ignorance and hostility toward the victim is astounding, outrageous, and triggering.
i have had to separate myself from it.
truly, it is the, at best dismissive, and at worst abusive, treatment of dylan that is deeply disturbing.
unacceptable. disappointing. etc. etc.
there is no end to the negative feelings.
i just keep reminding myself, this is not about me,
this is not about woody, this is not about the trolls,
this is about a courageous young adult survivor of child abuse speaking out and breaking the silence,
and that is a good thing!
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