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#459796 - 01/30/14 06:55 PM Characteristics of Sexually healthy Adults
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 320
Found this online, thought it might help! smile

From a wholistic perspective, sexual health includes emotional, psychological, physical, intellectual and spiritual dimensions. The following are characteristics of sexually healthy adults however sexual health is developed over a life‐ span, from cradle to grave. Integrating sexuality into one’s life in a balanced way is a life‐time endeavor.

http://www.health.state.mn.us/topics/sexualhealth/characteristics.pdf

Communication

Interact with all genders in appropriate and respectful ways
Communicate effectively with family and friends
Ask questions of other adults about sexual issues, when necessary
Are able to communicate and negotiate sexual limits
Communicate respectfully their desires to have sex and not to have sex
Accept refusals of sex without hostility or feeling insulted
Can physically express feelings of attraction and desire in ways that do not focus on the genitals (ex: holding, caressing, kissing, etc.)
Talk with a partner about sexual activity before it occurs, including limits, contraceptive and condom use, and meaning in the relationship
Communicate with partners their intentions for the relationship (ex: only dating, want marriage)
Listen to and respect others’ boundaries and limits
Are sensitive to non-verbal cues of others’ boundaries and limits

Relationships

Develop friendships that do not have a sexual agenda
Avoid exploitative relationships
Choose partners who are responsible, trustworthy, safe and giving
Can be sexually intimate without being physical (ex: talk about sexual feelings, verbally express attraction, do things that awaken desire in partner)
Can express themselves in ways other than genitally (ex: holding, caressing, kissing, etc.)
Take personal responsibility for their own boundaries

Self-Esteem, Self-Worth

Appreciate their own bodies
Are sensually aware and able to stay conscious in their bodies
Can touch their own bodies without feeling shame or disgust
Allow themselves to experience pleasurable sensual and sexual feelings
Have the capacity to nurture themselves and others, and accept nurturing from others
Feel joy in sexual experiences of their choosing
Know when they need touch rather than sex and try to get their needs for touch met appropriately
Have a developed sense of self, an understanding of who they are
Enjoy sexual feelings without necessarily acting upon them
Accept refusals of sex without hostility or feeling personally insulted
Allow themselves to be vulnerable
Are comfortable with their sexual identity and orientation
Are becoming aware of the impact of negative sexual experiences such as sexual abuse, and the impact of negative cultural messages on their sexual development
Are taking steps to address issues that have arisen as a result of past experiences
Feel confident in their ability to set appropriate boundaries
Realize that, by working through sexual issues, individuals may heal psychological and emotional wounding from past experiences and damaging beliefs.

Education

Realize the consequences of sexual activity
Comprehend the impact of media messages on thoughts, feelings, values, and behaviors related to sexuality
Understand that the drive for sex is powerful and can be integrated into one’s life in positive and healthy ways
Respect the right of all people to enjoy and engage in the full range of consensual, non-exploitive sexual behaviors
Values

Decide on what is personally “right” and act on these values
Demonstrate tolerance for people with different values
Are not threatened by others with sexual orientation different from theirs
Show respect to others whose cultural values, ethnic heritage, age, socioeconomic status, religion, and gender are different from theirs

Contraception, Protection, Body Integrity

Take responsibility for their own bodies and their own orgasms
If sexually active, use contraception effectively to avoid unplanned pregnancy and use condoms and safer sex to avoid contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease
Practice health-promoting behaviors, such as regular checkups, breast or testicular self-exams, regular and routine testing for STDs

Spirituality

Honor the sacred aspect of sexual union
Understand that sexual energy is not separate from being human
Understand that sexual union is one way human beings connect body and soul

Created by Hadsall and Associates 2001, revised 2010


Edited by justplainme (01/30/14 06:56 PM)
_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

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#459797 - 01/30/14 07:03 PM Re: Characteristics of Sexually healthy Adults [Re: justplainme]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1410
Loc: California
That's quite a tall order.
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#459798 - 01/30/14 08:14 PM Re: Characteristics of Sexually healthy Adults [Re: justplainme]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 589
I don't think I could tick two in a row at any point...

Something to work on.
_________________________
Husky

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#459802 - 01/30/14 09:00 PM Re: Characteristics of Sexually healthy Adults [Re: justplainme]
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 320
Hey... a thousand mile journey begins with one step, trust me guy's I'm just as perplexed at the profoundness of health, but i think this list is equally difficult for people who have not been exposed to the sexual abusive situations we were. In any case we ALL struggle with this. But nonetheless why not have the list in handy? smile


Edited by justplainme (01/30/14 09:08 PM)
_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

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#459803 - 01/30/14 09:06 PM Re: Characteristics of Sexually healthy Adults [Re: justplainme]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 589
smile
_________________________
Husky

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#459805 - 01/30/14 09:45 PM Re: Characteristics of Sexually healthy Adults [Re: justplainme]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1714
Definitely comprehensive list. There was one line that is so near to my heart and has been a guiding force in my healing

"Choose partners who are responsible, trustworthy, safe and giving"

I think finding the right person will allow the other characteristics to be achieved.

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#459808 - 01/31/14 02:22 AM Re: Characteristics of Sexually healthy Adults [Re: justplainme]
kcinohio Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 338
Loc: Ohio
Great list, thanks.

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#459814 - 01/31/14 07:15 AM Re: Characteristics of Sexually healthy Adults [Re: justplainme]
bey Offline


Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 206
Loc: canada
I was quite pleased with how many of these I could say yes to! Some sections I did really "well" on, others I said no to all of them. I am far from sexually healthy, but I'm obviously not totally sexually broken either.
My partner looked at the list and he had to say no to almost as many as me, and he had a lovely, abuse free childhood. So ya, I think its something everyone can work on.
Thanks for sharing smile

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#459821 - 01/31/14 08:39 AM Re: Characteristics of Sexually healthy Adults [Re: justplainme]
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 320
My pleasure people smile
_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

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#459897 - 02/01/14 06:49 AM Re: Characteristics of Sexually healthy Adults [Re: justplainme]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2017
Loc: durham, north england
Lists like this pis me off since they asume everyone knows what they're talking about and can act on them. I'm sick and tired of reading about "choosing partners" and "dating" and no sodding idea how to do either since nobody has been sodding interested!

if you ask me the most "s/xually healthy" thing I could possibly do is not have a libido at all, and if you gave me a magic wand which would remove all that from me I'd take it.

S/x I just find disgusting or down right scary, it's something I don't want and it's dam unfare that my stupid body saddled me with it, particularly since there's sod all I can do about changing my attitude alone, but there's sod all I can to about finding someone else because of that very genophobia.


So, lists like this are dam stupid at least to me, and frankly I hate the assumption behind it that everyone has free choice and that the problem is just making the right choices, these lists are written by smug liberal idiots who sit their with their happy little relationships and honest discussions of nudity and multiple partners and modern art and post modern readings of literature and other ultra cool hip things that show how adult and trendy and with it they are, (believe me, I was president of my university's philosophy soceity and had to sit through several talks on stupid things like this, ---- which for a genophobe like me were horrible!).

Well hear's a news flash to all those self rightious
Well here's a news flash to all those self indulgent smug self rightious snobby pigs!

Some of us are just too damageed to "understand freely and share in the beautiful world of adult relationship crap!" so sod you! I hope you all get ciphalus and die horribly!

Oh and yes, another bad day, like all the others before, and reading such self satisfied ship doesn't help either!

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