Its always tragic when there is another added to our numbers and he becomes # Survivor +1.
Sometimes we and I was one for the longest time (50 years) could not ever dream of talking of CSA. It was only when I finally just couldn't do it anymore, facing my world crashing down that I told my ex about the abuse.
After much work by me and more importantly for our family the work she did with a T who luckily specializes in this field, did she come to understand more about the effects of CSA on men.
Her job is to coordinate students working from a university program in our province and one student was struggling. She went and visited him in the town he is training in and spent some time with him asking why he was failing to finish the practicum, she knew he is smart. He said he just hated the town but when she said she would be happy to call him weekly to check up, he still insisted he f*cking hated the place. I don't know how she knew but she did, slowly she just encouraged him as his story didn't make sense. " I can't help you unless i know the truth " she told him, and she said she would do every in her power help.
Finally he broke down and told how he had been abused at the cadet base in that town. How the place triggered him and sent him into a spiral. She immediately told his parents he was coming home for a break and helped him pack. She told him she would find him another practicum placement with full credit. She told him about this place, about the services available and encouraged him to get help he didn't know was available. She told him about me, and how even though it was hell, there can be light at the end of the tunnel. It truly can get better.
( I f*cking wish I had known of this place when i was young)
I know its awful when there are more of us, but I thankfully before a man does something truly desperate, If he can see he is not an island, there is HOPE.
IT is painful and embarrassing to talk about CSA, and the costs can be huge. I understand not everyone is in a place or time where they are capable. She said i was courageous to finally talk but that wasn't it at all. I was just f*cking tired of the bullshit to be honest. I am just grateful that by telling my painful story, it helped another survivor to maybe not have to live most of his life as a shell, a facade, as I did for far too long.
That's why talking can be the right thing to do. A butterfly effect that we may never fully understand. I am sad he becomes statistic # Survivor +1, but I am not sad he is no longer alone.
Edited by 1lifenow (01/27/14 12:43 PM)
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama
WoR Barrie 2011