Newest Members
RodrigoBR, MJ545, Marant, BeingFound, journey4two
12332 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueelectron9 (48), Grunty1967b (2014), highflight (42), jocks44 (54), kitm1 (47), Porrick (44)
Who's Online
2 registered (VASurvivor, 1 invisible), 17 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12332 Members
74 Forums
63414 Topics
443364 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#459487 - 01/27/14 01:41 AM Survivor +1
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 398
Loc: west coast
Its always tragic when there is another added to our numbers and he becomes # Survivor +1.

Sometimes we and I was one for the longest time (50 years) could not ever dream of talking of CSA. It was only when I finally just couldn't do it anymore, facing my world crashing down that I told my ex about the abuse.

After much work by me and more importantly for our family the work she did with a T who luckily specializes in this field, did she come to understand more about the effects of CSA on men.

Her job is to coordinate students working from a university program in our province and one student was struggling. She went and visited him in the town he is training in and spent some time with him asking why he was failing to finish the practicum, she knew he is smart. He said he just hated the town but when she said she would be happy to call him weekly to check up, he still insisted he f*cking hated the place. I don't know how she knew but she did, slowly she just encouraged him as his story didn't make sense. " I can't help you unless i know the truth " she told him, and she said she would do every in her power help.

Finally he broke down and told how he had been abused at the cadet base in that town. How the place triggered him and sent him into a spiral. She immediately told his parents he was coming home for a break and helped him pack. She told him she would find him another practicum placement with full credit. She told him about this place, about the services available and encouraged him to get help he didn't know was available. She told him about me, and how even though it was hell, there can be light at the end of the tunnel. It truly can get better.
( I f*cking wish I had known of this place when i was young)

I know its awful when there are more of us, but I thankfully before a man does something truly desperate, If he can see he is not an island, there is HOPE.

IT is painful and embarrassing to talk about CSA, and the costs can be huge. I understand not everyone is in a place or time where they are capable. She said i was courageous to finally talk but that wasn't it at all. I was just f*cking tired of the bullshit to be honest. I am just grateful that by telling my painful story, it helped another survivor to maybe not have to live most of his life as a shell, a facade, as I did for far too long.

That's why talking can be the right thing to do. A butterfly effect that we may never fully understand. I am sad he becomes statistic # Survivor +1, but I am not sad he is no longer alone.


Edited by 1lifenow (01/27/14 12:43 PM)
_________________________
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

Top
#459494 - 01/27/14 04:10 AM Re: Survivor +1 [Re: 1lifenow]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Thank you for this story!


Pero
_________________________
My story

Top
#459501 - 01/27/14 09:53 AM Re: Survivor +1 [Re: 1lifenow]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
well done, 1!

thanks for sharing this - and thank you for shining a light that can help others find their way to the beginning of healing. it does help you feel better too, doesn't it? silence brings continued defeat. in truth there is power!

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.