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#458312 - 01/09/14 04:34 AM calling all christian survivors
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
hopefully this does not offend anyone.
i was trying to do this before, but the thread got hijacked, and now it is blocked.
people were arguing with each other and they were ignoring my posts. i think the point was missed.

are there any Christian survivors out there?

i am a serious student of the bible who is seeking fellowship in the holy spirit with other survivors of sexual abuse.
in this specific thread, i would like to share my speculations about scripture, salvation, sex, sin and other spiritual matters within the context of Christianity, with other Christians, in the name of jesus, and glory to jhvh.

the bible is very important and helpful to me, and has become an integral and essential part of my healing and recovery.
my conversion and commitment to Christianity are currently complete.
the days and decades of doubt and debate are behind me, and i wish to move forward in faith.

for my sake, i humbly and sincerely beg and request...
to avoid wasting time on hostile debates, may we assume, strictly for the purpose of this thread only, that the bible is the word of god, written by men, but divinely inspired, jesus is the messiah, and jhvh is the creator of the universe.

those are declarations of belief, matters of opinion, religious doctrines, articles of faith, call them whatever.
they cannot be proven and i do not wish to doubt or defend or debate them in this thread.
in this thread, i just want to enjoy my scriptural journey of Christian self discovery and examination, without going backwards over well-travelled territory.
i do not wish to revisit old thought patterns.
i get tired of explaining and repeating myself.
it is not my job to convert or convince or coerce anyone into my corner.

i also do not wish to spend time in this thread blaming the bible and criticizing Christ and judging Jehovah for sins and crimes committed by Christian members of various Christian churches, corporations, congregations and cults.
that too has been sufficiently discussed in other forums and threads.

bad people are everywhere, especially in churches.
it behooves us to bathe the baby, flush the feces, dispose of the diaper, but keep the kid.
every secular or spiritual organization with authority and access to children is a target for undercover pedophile infiltration.

the christian religion does not own the rights to ignorance, intolerance, arrogance, negligence, prejudice, hypocrisy, or even evil.
that is a human problem.
humans are flawed, and social organisms are an order of magnitude worse.

ironically, i first learned to question authority from words attributed to jesus. just the little bit of bible i had read as a kid gave me the skill to recognize, and the courage to challenge the obvious hypocrisy and corruption i saw with my own eyes. i admired jesus as a rebel, but denied his divinity.

one thing i noticed was that very few christians i spoke to, knew what was in the bible.
hardly any of them read their own holy book.
it made me believe they were not serious or sincere about their belief.

i did not start with the bible, i ended up there.
i had run out of options.
it was my least favoured choice,
and it was my last choice.

surprise!

reading the bible gives me great joy and comfort, and i would like to share that experience with other eager bible students.
so, strictly for the sake of this thread, i would respectfully request that we assume that jhvh and jesus and the bible are not responsible for the sinful acts of free will committed by individuals or institutions.


this is not meant to insult.
i am only trying to establish parameters.

i repeat.
hopefully this does not offend anyone.

_____________________________
other christian threads on this website
Love in Scripture
Bible Study Notes
History of the Bible
The Gospels in History
The Bible - Believe it or Not
Meditations on Ecclesiastes
Book of Revelation
Calling All Christian Survivors
Bible Study for CSA
Food For Thought
The Devil is Real
Spiritual Armour
Matthew Movie
Baptism
Having Faith
Finding Strength Through Faith
Fear of God=Beginning of Wisdom
Power of Prayer
Healing Through Forgiveness
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#458336 - 01/09/14 12:32 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Sounds good.

I read often but post rarely. For reason I won't post here because it'll certainly raise issues.

Anyway, I'm on board. I avoid all manner of debates and arguments because honestly no one in an online debate is likely to change their mind. Usually it's more about throwing around anger and hurt more than anything. So I avoid it.

I'm serious in my faith and seek to know God more. I've has atheist/agnostic friends ask me how I know God is real and the reality is, I have indeed experienced God in a way that has taken away any and all doubt whatsoever. I can't give that experience to anyone else, they have to seek it for them self.

I've learned, taught and been in the Bible most of my life. Even gone to a Bible college for many years. I love learning apologetics and deepening my understanding.

Totally up for conversation in the name of Jesus, and glory to YHWH.

I'm game and if it can't be done out here, PM is good too.

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#458341 - 01/09/14 02:10 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
hi justscott.

thanks for your response.

I'm serious in my faith and seek to know God more.
Ask me how I know God is real and the reality is, I have indeed experienced God in a way that has taken away any and all doubt whatsoever. I can't give that experience to anyone else, they have to seek it for them self.

i am currently preparing for baptism.
i did not want to do it until i was completely ready to commit. have you done it?
any thoughts and scriptures you would like to share with me?

i have been engaged in deep honest conversations
with the pastor at my favourite church for over 2 years.
we have absolutely nothing in common,
yet he and i think almost indentically,
and i really enjoy our weekly conversations.

i am not an official member of any church.
i have found three different fellowships where i feel good when i worship.
the people are decent and sincere, the congregations are small,
the shepherds and sermons are scriptural, the prayers are plenty, the mood is loving.

if i don't feel the holy spirit in the fellowship or if i don't hear the holy word from the leader,
i am not interested.
if the service reminds me of work (i.e. entertainment, theatre, showbiz, performance, ego),
i am not interested.

after about 3 years of searching and prayer,
i have found 3 fellowships that i enjoy,
which i believe meet my scriptural standards.

one is labeled Lutheran with service in German.
one is labeled Pentacostal with service in Spanish.
and the one that is preparing me for baptism is
labeled Mennonite and service is in Japanese.

in a good week, i can visit all three at least once.

none of the three ministers has a problem with me doing this.
all three ministers are guiding lights and good shepherds to me.
after years of careful scrutiny, examination, investigation and interrogation, i am satisfied these men are genuinely good and wise.
i believe them to be true Christians, as i imagine the concept.
if they are hypocrites, they are the best actors i have ever seen in my 30 years of show business.
i cherish our conversations and these guys know all my secrets.
the members of these churches are friendly and sincere and treat me like a brother.

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#458343 - 01/09/14 02:32 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Wow, do you speak all those languages? I'm grew up and still in the US, so if it's not English, I'm lost, and now that I'm 38, I really regret never earnestly learning another language. I would like to learn spanish. I spent some time in the Dominican Republic and would love to live there someday and serve the Lord ministering to anyone who God brought my way.

I agree with you about needing to hear the Word preached in a church or if it's purely entertainment. I currently attend a United Methodist church, and our local congregation is pretty solid, although I have quite a few issues with the larger church organization.

I'm very much about studying how the "church" was in the book of Acts and I get frustrated with how different it is from the way it is done today. The two are so different.

I'm glad to hear you are looking to be baptized. It is Biblical and doing so is simply being obedient to the call of Christ is your life. You probably already know this, but it's simply the outward sign of the decision or faith in Jesus you have already professed.

I'm also a "member" of the church I attend, but such ideas of membership are more "organizational" than anything else. When one puts their faith in Christ they become a member of the body of Christ, the true Church. There really isn't any additional precedent for "membership" to a church to be found in the Bible.

As far a hypocrites are concerned, every human being I have met qualifies. We all say one thing and do another, or do something we say we shouldn't. It's part of our falleness for sure. Thank God for His Grace through Jesus.

Sadly presently in my life I don't have anyone that I'm close to that I can really open up and share with. I long for it. I pray for it. Maybe some day that person will arrive. Some days I feel I'm too broken to ever really get it and can only hold on as best I can until I can enter into God's physical presence.

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#458348 - 01/09/14 03:48 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: JustScott]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: JustScott
Wow, do you speak all those languages? I'm grew up and still in the US, so if it's not English, I'm lost, and now that I'm 38, I really regret never earnestly learning another language. I would like to learn spanish.


the bible is an excellent method of learning how to "speak in tongues" wink
pardon the pun, but i it is a fact that i am using the bible to learn Japanese and Spanish and Greek and Hebrew and Latin, and the results are amazing.
the other languages i learned from travelling and books.
German is my most fluent,
followed by minimal Thai, Indonesian, Polish, and French.
i even dabble in Punjabi because of our local demographic.


Originally Posted By: JustScott
I spent some time in the Dominican Republic and would love to live there someday and serve the Lord ministering to anyone who God brought my way.



that sounds exciting. i would love to travel some more after my children become adults, and i have been dreaming of it. but it's not likely for five years at least.

Originally Posted By: JustScott
I agree with you about needing to hear the Word preached in a church or if it's purely entertainment. I currently attend a United Methodist church, and our local congregation is pretty solid, although I have quite a few issues with the larger church organization.

I'm very much about studying how the "church" was in the book of Acts and I get frustrated with how different it is from the way it is done today. The two are so different.



i feel exactly the same way.

Originally Posted By: JustScott
I'm glad to hear you are looking to be baptized. It is Biblical and doing so is simply being obedient to the call of Christ is your life. You probably already know this, but it's simply the outward sign of the decision or faith in Jesus you have already professed.

I'm also a "member" of the church I attend, but such ideas of membership are more "organizational" than anything else. When one puts their faith in Christ they become a member of the body of Christ, the true Church. There really isn't any additional precedent for "membership" to a church to be found in the Bible.



amen

Originally Posted By: JustScott
As far a hypocrites are concerned, every human being I have met qualifies. We all say one thing and do another, or do something we say we shouldn't. It's part of our falleness for sure. Thank God for His Grace through Jesus.



Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.
Ecclesiastes 7:20 - For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.
1 Corinthians 10:13 - No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

i am still a hypocrite and a sinner and that is a big part of my prayer process. it was a lot easier being a rebel. that came naturally. submission takes a little work.

John 14:15 - If ye love me, keep my commandments.
2 Corinthians 7:1 - Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.


i do love god for he has kept his promises to me.
Ezekiel 36:26 - "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."
Psalm 34:4 - "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."
Philippians 4:19 - "God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
James 1:5 - "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."

i pray for the power of the holy spirit to strengthen me in spiritual warfare. i still have daily battles with demons to deal with, and i doubt the devil will retreat until he is defeated. god has kept all his promises to me, so far.

i am working on these now.

Isaiah 26:3 - "You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."

not totally there yet.

the bible promises me that i am a work in progress but i will be perfected.

Philippians 1:6 - Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Matthew 5:48 - Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
1 John 2:5 - But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.
1 John 4:12 - No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.


Originally Posted By: JustScott
Sadly presently in my life I don't have anyone that I'm close to that I can really open up and share with. I long for it. I pray for it. Maybe some day that person will arrive. Some days I feel I'm too broken to ever really get it and can only hold on as best I can until I can enter into God's physical presence.



some of the reasons i am here
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#458810 - 01/17/14 11:38 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
So, where do you want to begin? Shall we continue here? Or view a private chat? Who else to involve or invite if we do it privately?

I love a good discussion and I think the framework of your initial post is a good one.

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#458818 - 01/17/14 01:59 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 849
Loc: Kc,Mo
Quote:
Matthew 5:48 - Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.


my pastor has been pounding this and he keeps using a Vince Lombardi quote. We are to strive for perfection and in doing so we might fall short on excellence.

Jesus indeed sets the bar high and it should be in order for us to continuously have to grow and because we have an enemy that wants nothing more than to see us fall away from the higher call in Christ Jesus. So by setting the bar at perfection we will always have another level that we can reach because we are in the flesh we will inevitably fall but knowing that the goal is perfection this does not allow us to stay down or stay in our fallen state.
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#458835 - 01/17/14 07:20 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
nltsaved,
matthew chapter 5 is one of my favourite reads.

i strive for excellence in everything i do.
perfection is impossible, but worth the attempt.

p.s. i just finished reading isaiah and jeremiah again.
it took a couple of days.

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#458836 - 01/17/14 07:33 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: JustScott]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: JustScott
So, where do you want to begin? Shall we continue here? Or view a private chat? Who else to involve or invite if we do it privately?

I love a good discussion and I think the framework of your initial post is a good one.


we have already begun.
we shall continue here.
no private chat please, let the light shine.
anyone who agrees with the framework of the initial post is invited and involved.
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#458840 - 01/17/14 08:13 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
this scripture gives me great comfort in troubled times.

romans chapter 8

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,
God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.
And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us,
who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires;
but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.
The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.
The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.
Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you.
And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.
But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin,
the Spirit gives life because of righteousness.
And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you,
he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.
Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it.
For if you live according to the flesh, you will die;
but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.
The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again;
rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.
And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ,
if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.
For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice,
but by the will of the one who subjected it,
in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.
Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit,
groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies.
For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.
We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit,
because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son,
that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.


What, then, shall we say in response to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us?
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen?
It is God who justifies.
Who then is the one who condemns?
No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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#458841 - 01/17/14 08:24 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
psalm 44



We have heard it with our ears, O God;
our ancestors have told us
what you did in their days,
in days long ago.
With your hand you drove out the nations
and planted our ancestors;
you crushed the peoples
and made our ancestors flourish.
It was not by their sword that they won the land,
nor did their arm bring them victory;
it was your right hand, your arm,
and the light of your face, for you loved them.
You are my King and my God,
who decrees victories for Jacob.
Through you we push back our enemies;
through your name we trample our foes.
I put no trust in my bow,
my sword does not bring me victory;
but you give us victory over our enemies,
you put our adversaries to shame.
In God we make our boast all day long,
and we will praise your name forever.
But now you have rejected and humbled us;
you no longer go out with our armies.
You made us retreat before the enemy,
and our adversaries have plundered us.
You gave us up to be devoured like sheep
and have scattered us among the nations.
You sold your people for a pittance,
gaining nothing from their sale.
You have made us a reproach to our neighbors,
the scorn and derision of those around us.
You have made us a byword among the nations;
the peoples shake their heads at us.
I live in disgrace all day long,
and my face is covered with shame
at the taunts of those who reproach and revile me,
because of the enemy, who is bent on revenge.
All this came upon us,
though we had not forgotten you;
we had not been false to your covenant.
Our hearts had not turned back;
our feet had not strayed from your path.
But you crushed us and made us a haunt for jackals;
you covered us over with deep darkness.
If we had forgotten the name of our God
or spread out our hands to a foreign god,
would not God have discovered it,
since he knows the secrets of the heart?
Yet for your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.
Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep?
Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever.
Why do you hide your face
and forget our misery and oppression?
We are brought down to the dust;
our bodies cling to the ground.
Rise up and help us;
rescue us because of your unfailing love.
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#458976 - 01/20/14 09:45 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Ok, I'll be honest, the passages are awesome, but the volume of text is quite large, so I'm a tad overwhelmed and also unsure. Is there some specific part or section you want to talk about?

I'm going to go back and read your initial post to refresh my brain on your thoughts and feelings on all this.

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#459022 - 01/20/14 03:36 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
i have been studying romans chapter 8.
it led me to psalm 44.
these are comforting to me when i am feeling persecuted or paranoid.

i only posted them to share.

any comments are welcome.
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#459059 - 01/21/14 12:20 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 849
Loc: Kc,Mo
This is what I was talking about in the other thread about Romans 8
it is not all about Romans 8 but i brought it up while writing this for this thread


What are your thoughts on the sovereignty of God , how far do you take it. There are certain aspects of Calvinism I really enjoy. All salvation is of grace. I am leaning towards God does what he wants and because we being human want to know and understand and have reason revealed to us that we do want to believe in a God who predestines some to be saved and others to be raised up only to fall . God said he hardens Pharaohs heart in order that his glory would be displayed .There are many places in scripture where God raises up people for specific purposes. And than you have the whole Judas thing I mean some one had to do it . I am finding in my study that God does things that we will never be able to comprehend. Things that we might see as unfair or dare I say unjust and yet there are deeper more profound meanings behind his actions. Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

How far do we take the sovereignty of God ? I am almost to the point of thinking God is really sovereign in ALL things whether we understand him or his actions or not or whether we can reason our way into rejecting it or accepting.In the end I am just trusting God in all things for all things and committing to God being sovereign in all things because I think in my own opinion that in doing so it will put him in the highest place in my life that I can place him. Sovereign in all things trusting him in all things and whether i agree with it or not. Just knowing He is everything he says he is and really i have no reason not to believe this because for this verse 30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. I have seen in my life he has justified me and i feel predestined and he has glorified me in many ways and put me in positions to glorify him through me and has set me in places to do great things and areas that I could never have achieved without God. I have no high school diploma and work at a job that requires one and make more money than most people with college degrees I have held 3 management positions in my life with not high school diploma he has allowed me to go on the oprah show and have the local news paper do a story on me and God uses me to do a prison ministry to bring the gospel to prisoners some even being child molesters . I say ONLY the grace and glory of God could any of this have been possible. I feel a sense of predestination not in the sense of being better than anyone but I do feel that God does choose those whom he chooses and chooses to do other things for people that i will never understand. Does it mean some our destine for hell ? well if it means to further bring him glory than i would say yes . Hell is not a place of fire and burning it is simply life without God life knowing you could of had a relationship with God and live in his presence . Instead rejecting God and having to live eternity separated from his presence. You have to read scripture in light of scripture and as a totality . When doing this you are able to grasp God i believe more correctly . Scripture in light of scripture . Yes there is a lot God does that would make you scratch your head and some that has the appearance of contradiction but examined in light of all scripture it is not contradicted at all and in the totality of scripture it reveals God love his sovereignty and his compassion time and time again.

There is so much glory and majesty about god that truly we do not understand, although we see great evils and we see here on earth how we would handle some things and have our own ideas of what justice and fairness is. Yet God see's things past present future and knows exactly what the causes and effects will be not only that he knows the amount of people it will effect the most. Add in everything is for his ultimate glory.
example
I mean If you had to determined who lives and who dies and had to make a decision in a scenario of your son or someone you knew was in a house that was about to explode and you could only get one person out of 6 which one would you pick? Most would pick their loved one, But God who is omnipotent knows that one of those people would go on to find a cure for cancer God would know who would go on to bring him the most glory where we would most likely go off our feelings and emotions.


Edited by nltsaved (01/21/14 12:22 AM)
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#459065 - 01/21/14 02:57 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
amen and thanks for your thoughts.

glory to god!
hallowed be the holy name of Jehovah and his son Jesus the messiah.


as a responsible parent myself, having successfully raised three great children (so far smile ), i have come to understand and love "god the father".
as a rebellious child, i also understand "the fall".
it took a lifetime to get to this understanding, but by the grace of god, it all makes sense now.
i have finally learned how to accept his will, but it still takes daily effort.
as i said in another thread...

the biggest problem i had with god was that i wasn't god.

of course we can't comprehend the creator of the universe.

jhvh is in keter, we are in malkhut.
god is in heaven, we are on earth.
god is the holy spirit, we are only a reflection of his image.
blood and dust and dna with a whisper of divine breath.
god is the creator, we are the creature, trapped in the creation.

god is beyond my comprehension or criticism.
he does not need my approval or agreement.
he wants my confession, not my permission.

jesus and the word and the holy spirit have lifted me out of a state of fear and hate. the very definition of hell on earth.
my memories, my history, my previous life, my sexual abuse, my self abuse, everything that once was, has died.
it seems like trivia now.
my spirit has been washed in the precious blood.

i thought i would never be free.

this is something so incredible,
i hardly believe it myself.
but i am the living proof.


the experiment continues.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#459070 - 01/21/14 06:37 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
this was an eye opener for me.

book of job

38:
1 Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:
2 “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
3 Dress for action like a man;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.
4 “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
5 Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
6 On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
7 when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

8 “Or who shut in the sea with doors
when it burst out from the womb,
9 when I made clouds its garment
and thick darkness its swaddling band,
10 and prescribed limits for it
and set bars and doors,
11 and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,
and here shall your proud waves be stayed’?

12 “Have you commanded the morning since your days began,
and caused the dawn to know its place,
13 that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth,
and the wicked be shaken out of it?
14 It is changed like clay under the seal,
and its features stand out like a garment.
15 From the wicked their light is withheld,
and their uplifted arm is broken.

16 “Have you entered into the springs of the sea,
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
17 Have the gates of death been revealed to you,
or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?
18 Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth?
Declare, if you know all this.

19 “Where is the way to the dwelling of light,
and where is the place of darkness,
20 that you may take it to its territory
and that you may discern the paths to its home?
21 You know, for you were born then,
and the number of your days is great!

22 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,
or have you seen the storehouses of the hail,
23 which I have reserved for the time of trouble,
for the day of battle and war?
24 What is the way to the place where the light is distributed,
or where the east wind is scattered upon the earth?

25 “Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain
and a way for the thunderbolt,
26 to bring rain on a land where no man is,
on the desert in which there is no man,
27 to satisfy the waste and desolate land,
and to make the ground sprout with grass?

28 “Has the rain a father,
or who has begotten the drops of dew?
29 From whose womb did the ice come forth,
and who has given birth to the frost of heaven?
30 The waters become hard like stone,
and the face of the deep is frozen.

31 “Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades
or loose the cords of Orion?
32 Can you lead forth the Mazzaroth in their season,
or can you guide the Bear with its children?
33 Do you know the ordinances of the heavens?
Can you establish their rule on the earth?

34 “Can you lift up your voice to the clouds,
that a flood of waters may cover you?
35 Can you send forth lightnings, that they may go
and say to you, ‘Here we are’?
36 Who has put wisdom in the inward parts or given understanding to the mind?
37 Who can number the clouds by wisdom?
Or who can tilt the waterskins of the heavens,
38 when the dust runs into a mass
and the clods stick fast together?

39 “Can you hunt the prey for the lion,
or satisfy the appetite of the young lions,
40 when they crouch in their dens
or lie in wait in their thicket?
41 Who provides for the raven its prey,
when its young ones cry to God for help,
and wander about for lack of food?

39:1 “Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?
Do you observe the calving of the does?
2 Can you number the months that they fulfill,
and do you know the time when they give birth,
3 when they crouch, bring forth their offspring,
and are delivered of their young?
4 Their young ones become strong; they grow up in the open;
they go out and do not return to them.

5 “Who has let the wild donkey go free?
Who has loosed the bonds of the swift donkey,
6 to whom I have given the arid plain for his home
and the salt land for his dwelling place?
7 He scorns the tumult of the city;
he hears not the shouts of the driver.
8 He ranges the mountains as his pasture,
and he searches after every green thing.

9 “Is the wild ox willing to serve you?
Will he spend the night at your manger?
10 Can you bind him in the furrow with ropes,
or will he harrow the valleys after you?
11 Will you depend on him because his strength is great,
and will you leave to him your labor?
12 Do you have faith in him that he will return your grain
and gather it to your threshing floor?

13 “The wings of the ostrich wave proudly,
but are they the pinions and plumage of love?
14 For she leaves her eggs to the earth
and lets them be warmed on the ground,
15 forgetting that a foot may crush them
and that the wild beast may trample them.
16 She deals cruelly with her young, as if they were not hers;
though her labor be in vain, yet she has no fear,
17 because God has made her forget wisdom
and given her no share in understanding.
18 When she rouses herself to flee,
she laughs at the horse and his rider.

19 “Do you give the horse his might?
Do you clothe his neck with a mane?
20 Do you make him leap like the locust?
His majestic snorting is terrifying.
21 He paws in the valley and exults in his strength;
he goes out to meet the weapons.
22 He laughs at fear and is not dismayed;
he does not turn back from the sword.
23 Upon him rattle the quiver,
the flashing spear, and the javelin.
24 With fierceness and rage he swallows the ground;
he cannot stand still at the sound of the trumpet.
25 When the trumpet sounds, he says ‘Aha!’
He smells the battle from afar,
the thunder of the captains, and the shouting.

26 “Is it by your understanding that the hawk soars
and spreads his wings toward the south?
27 Is it at your command that the eagle mounts up
and makes his nest on high?
28 On the rock he dwells and makes his home,
on the rocky crag and stronghold.
29 From there he spies out the prey;
his eyes behold it from far away.
30 His young ones suck up blood,
and where the slain are, there is he.”

40:1 And the Lord said to Job:
2 “Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty?
He who argues with God, let him answer it.”
3 Then Job answered the Lord and said:
4 “Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
5 I have spoken once, and I will not answer;
twice, but I will proceed no further.”


there is more, but this pretty much sums up how god put me in my place.
this thing happened to me before i ever read the book of job.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
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#459096 - 01/21/14 02:06 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Similar to the Job passage, we have in Romans, chapter 9:

Quote:

14 What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God's part? By no means! 15 For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” 16 So then it depends not on human will or exertion,[b] but on God, who has mercy. 17 For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” 18 So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.

19 You will say to me then, “Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?” 20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” 21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? 22 What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, 23 in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory— 24 even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles?

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#459098 - 01/21/14 02:10 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Similar to the Job passage, we have in Romans, chapter 9:

14 What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God's part? By no means! 15 For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” 16 So then it depends not on human will or exertion,[b] but on God, who has mercy. 17 For the Scripture says t

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#459099 - 01/21/14 02:10 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Similar to the Job passage, we have in Romans, chapter 9:

14 What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God's part? By no means! 15 For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” 16 So then it depends not on human will or exertion,[b] but on God, who has mercy. 17 For the Scripture says t

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#459111 - 01/21/14 05:42 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 849
Loc: Kc,Mo
There are so many places it talks about God pretty much doing what he wants even if we can not comprehend what or why he is doing.

1 Kings 11:12 “But I will not do that while you are still living. Because of your father David I will wait. I will tear the kingdom out of your son’s hand. 13 But I will not tear the whole kingdom away from him. I will give him one of the tribes because of my servant David. I will also do it because of Jerusalem. That is the city I have chosen.”
The Lord Brings Enemies Against Solomon

14 Then the Lord brought an enemy against Solomon
another bible says God raised up an enemy to go against Solomon.

Sovereignty is at the heart once again. God purposefully raising up someone to go against Solomon.


The bottom line for me is getting to the ultimate place for excepting his will no matter what it in tales. If he is who he says he is and I believe he is than he will do what is in the best interest of his creation whether I happen to agree with it or not. When i obey the word of God than his blessings are very evident just as when i walk outside of his word than there are consequences for those actions.
God

(Deuteronomy 11:26-28) In the New Testament Jesus says, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” (Luke 11:28) If people choose to reject God’s ways and not follow Him, the Bible tells us that God “will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of His power.” (2 Thessalonians 1:8-9) This to me speaks of the term hell and what it means in the totality of scripture. Not a lake of burning fire . When the word speaks of weeping and gnashing of teeth I also thing this is a more direct line of thinking what hell is like . Weeping and gnashing of teeth because you would know the many opportunities you had to deny and by pass in order to do your own will and now knowing you are separated from his presence for eternity.
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#459112 - 01/21/14 05:44 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 849
Loc: Kc,Mo



more on obeying and receiving God plainly tells us what it is like when we obey and when we do not
I have seen nothing but All of this to be true in my life
Psalms 1 1-6
1Blessed is the one

who does not walk in step with the wicked

or stand in the way that sinners take

or sit in the company of mockers,

2but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,

and who meditates on his law day and night.

3That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither—

whatever they do prospers.

4Not so the wicked!

They are like chaff

that the wind blows away.

5Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Jeremiah 17 5-8
Cursed is the one who trusts in man,

who draws strength from mere flesh

and whose heart turns away from the Lord.

6That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;

they will not see prosperity when it comes.

They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,

in a salt land where no one lives.

7“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,

whose confidence is in him.

8They will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit.”


this lesson came from here

God appeared to Solomon in a dream and asked him what he wanted. What did Solomon ask God for? (Wisdom) How did God answer Solomon’s request? (He gave Solomon wisdom and also riches and honor 1Kings 3:12-13) God made a promise to Solomon when He said He would give him those things.

Choose a volunteer to read 1 Kings 3:14. Some of God’s promises are conditional. What was God promising Solomon? (A long life) What was the condition? (If Solomon walked in God’s ways and obeyed His commands)

As Solomon walked with God and obeyed His commands God blessed him and the people of Israel. Let’s look at some examples of God’s blessings on Solomon.

1 Kings 4:20 (The people were numerous, ate drank and were happy)
1 Kings 4:24b-25 (Peace on all sides)
1 Kings 5:4 (Lived in safety)
1 Kings 10:1-9, 23-24 (Famous for the wisdom and riches God gave Solomon)

If Solomon were living in our day he would probably own a t-shirt or two that says “Life is Good”. As he walked with God and obeyed his commands Solomon experienced a life full of blessing. He had more than he could ever ask for.

If you have believed in the Lord Jesus to save you from your sins, you are God’s child and have His promise of blessing for obedience in your own life. (Luke 11:28, John 8:51) As believers we have more than we could ever ask for. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” Ephesians 1:3 We may not completely understand what this verse means but if we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing we can be assured that we are richer than Solomon!

God has given us everything we need to live a life of obedience to Him. He has given us His Word to teach us how to live. His Holy Spirit lives in us to guide us and direct us in our lives to continue to live a life that pleases God. (2 Peter 1:3-4)

Let’s turn to 1 Kings 11:1-6. What happened to Solomon? (Allow students to respond) How does this make you feel as you read about Solomon? It is disappointing when we see a person blessed by God turn their heart away from Him.

If you and I are obeying God and enjoying His blessings can our hearts turn away from God? (Yes) How does such a terrible thing happen in our hearts when we know and believe that God loves us and His plans for our lives are best? (Sin)

What happened in Solomon’s life happened in the Garden of Eden. God created Adam and Eve and gave them everything they would ever need. He gave them one rule. What was that rule? (Not to eat from the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil) With the multitudes of fruit to choose from how did Adam and Eve end up eating from the one tree God told them not to? (The serpent tempted Eve and told her she wouldn’t die but she would become like God)

Because Adam and Eve sinned every person born after them is born with a sinful heart. (Jeremiah 17:9, Romans 3:23) Satan is God’s enemy and he knows that God created His most special creation (man and woman) so He could have a close relationship with them. Satan hates God and he knows the only way he can hurt God is by turning His most special creation (people) away from Him. Satan tried to destroy Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and has worked hard throughout history trying to destroy God’s people. (Revelation 12:9)

Solomon began his reign with his heart following God and obeying his ways. When he obeyed God, he experienced God’s blessing. Somewhere along the way Solomon stopped guarding his heart and was drawn away from God’s ways and he began to do evil.

God promises to bless those who obey Him. He also says He will punish those who disobey. Read 1 Kings 11:9-13. Because Solomon disobeyed, God was going to take away His Kingdom. The remainder of the chapter tells us how God raised up enemies against Solomon. When Solomon was obedient he and the Israelites were living in peace and safety. When Solomon’s heart turned away from God his disobedience became punishment instead of God’s blessing. this lesson came from here


Edited by nltsaved (01/21/14 05:49 PM)
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#459115 - 01/21/14 05:50 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 849
Loc: Kc,Mo
Thank you for this thread it is invigorating . Studying all this scripture uplifting and praising God . It is AWESOME !!
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#459121 - 01/21/14 10:10 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
glory to god!

i just stumbled across this jewel today!

"Let not the one who puts on his armour boast like the one who takes it off."

1 KINGS 20:11


i was in that book reading one of my favourite parts when
that hit me like a bullet between the eyes.

i wonder why i have never noticed it before.

another reason why i love reading the bible.
i am never finished.


i feel like including the part i was reading.
because i love this part...

Then He said: “Go out and stand on the mountain before Jehovah.”
And behold! Jehovah was passing by, and a great and strong wind was splitting mountains and breaking crags before Jehovah, but Jehovah was not in the wind.
After the wind, there was an earthquake, but Jehovah was not in the earthquake.
After the earthquake, there was a fire, but Jehovah was not in the fire.
After the fire, there was a calm, low voice.

1 KINGS 19:11


that was the voice of god!
what a beautiful image.

i love this part because of the isolation and terror and despair that Elijah was feeling, running for his life, hiding from a death sentence in a cave, hunted, hated, absolutely alone, and zealous for god!
he was so depressed that he asked god to let him die.
then he has this supernatural encounter which really parallels many of my own spiritual experiences.

the still, small, quiet, calm, low voice of god.
speaking with certainty and authority.
always saying what i don't want to hear, but need to know.

that tiny voice has saved my life many times.

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#459228 - 01/23/14 04:43 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
i just survived another car accident today.
that is the 3rd time i was in a car that was wiped out in the last 18 months.
the first 2 were not my fault.
this one was.

the irony is...
i was about two blocks away from my doctor's office.
i was on my way to my therapist for my final appointment.
it was going to be our last session together for treatment.
as far as she was concerned, i was fully recovered from the PTSD
which i had been diagnosed with because of the previous two accidents in a row.
i missed the appointment, because they hauled me away to emergency in an ambulance.

i was already about 90% recovered, physically, and i was already back to work.
now i am sitting here with back pain, neck pain, shoulder pain, money pain, mental pain.

ambulance, hospital, no broken bones, no blood.

major setback...
every time i start to get some traction, the ground falls out from under my feet.

so this time...
instead of having a smoke to ease the pain and stress,
or sliding back into my usual pity party,
or losing my mind and temper.

i turned to my bible...

this is what i found in JAMES 1:2-27

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.
When down-and-outers get a break, cheer! And when the arrogant rich are brought down to size, cheer! Prosperity is as short-lived as a wildflower, so don’t ever count on it. You know that as soon as the sun rises, pouring down its scorching heat, the flower withers. Its petals wilt and, before you know it, that beautiful face is a barren stem. Well, that’s a picture of the “prosperous life.” At the very moment everyone is looking on in admiration, it fades away to nothing.
Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.
Don’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way. The temptation to give in to evil comes from us and only us. We have no one to blame but the leering, seducing flare-up of our own lust. Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin! Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer.
So, my very dear friends, don’t get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures.

Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.
But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.
Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.


exactly what i needed to hear at this moment.

glory to god the creator!
i praise Jehovah.
in the name of Jesus Christ.

of course, before i found this scripture, i was on the edge of the abyss.
for the first few hours after the accident, i was in shock and pain, so i did have an emotional turmoil,
which included a lot of anger and despair and i blamed god and cursed him and i begged him for an explanation.
but all that came and went very quickly.

in the past, this crisis state of mind would last for weeks and months following disasters and catastrophes.
even minor delays could put me in a foul headspace for days.
i am very used to getting what i want when i want it.
snags never stopped me, i never quit,
but i really resented it when i had to work harder than i thought absolutely necessary
to achieve or obtain my heart's desires.
my wish was always my command.
the more obstacles i had to overcome, the more aggressively determined and stressfully stubborn i would become.
if something beyond my control occurred,
which proved to be beyond my power to fix,
which forced me to fail, or abort a mission,
well...
that was the end of the world and the start of a deep dark depression, punctuated with punches and tantrums.
whatever the case, lots of THC would be required.

this time... thanks to the epistle of james...
i was in a good mood, laughing it off, without any chemical help, prescription or otherwise, within 3 hours of the actual impact.
it is now almost 12 hours later, and i am still feeling emotionally solid. body is sore, but mood is bright.

if you knew me, you would not believe it was the same person.
i can hardly believe this myself.

the power of prayer and scripture cannot be denied!
glory to god.

i sure hope i don't feel worse tomorrow.
we will have to see.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
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#459245 - 01/23/14 09:16 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Praises Be. The world cannot understand. The Spirit of God reveals and teaches us, and we can look back and see growth.

THAT is the stuff that testifies that we are indeed children of God.

I smile for you. I love James. The Half-Brother of Jesus, once a mocker and un-believer whose eyes and heart were opened to the truth of Jesus.

Count it all joy.... Hard Hard truth, but it's the refining fire that reveals the reality or the falsehood of our faith.

To God be the Glory. Yahweh, Adonai, Elohim!

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#459275 - 01/23/14 01:51 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: JustScott]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
well, after a good night's rest.
i feel pretty good.
a little stiff and sore, but safe and sound.
i was more upset than anything else.
looks like i was not injured enough to worry about.

the last accident kept off my feet and stopped me from working for months.
thank god this was not as severe!

now i just have to deal with the financial fallout frown

I HATE MONEY!!!
_________________________
Victor|Victim

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#459583 - 01/28/14 09:06 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
great advice from Jesus.
definitely wise words worth remembering, in my humble opinion.

LUKE 12

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life,
what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.
For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.
Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap,
they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them.
And how much more valuable you are than birds!
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life ?
Since you cannot do this very little thing,
why do you worry about the rest?
Consider how the wild flowers grow.
They do not labor or spin.
Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field,
which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire,
how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!
And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.
For the pagan world runs after all such things,
and your Father knows that you need them.
But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.
Sell your possessions and give to the poor.
Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out,
a treasure in heaven that will never fail,
where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.



MATTHEW 6

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,
where moths and vermin destroy,
and where thieves break in and steal.
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where moths and vermin do not destroy,
and where thieves do not break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
No one can serve two masters.
Either you will hate the one and love the other,
or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.
You cannot serve both God and money.
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life,
what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink;
nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on.
Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Behold the fowls of the air:
for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns;
yet your heavenly Father feedeth them.
Are ye not much better than they?
Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
And why take ye thought for raiment?
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow;
they toil not, neither do they spin:
And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field,
which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven,
shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat?
or, What shall we drink?
or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:)
for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you.


even when i wasn't a Christian, i loved these ideas.
they gave me strength and support throughout my entire life.
i took them to heart, and lived by them as best as i could, whenever possible.
this scripture definitely had a huge influence on my decision making process.
it helped me cope with loss, fear, failure, worry, anxiety, poverty, greed, need, frustration, ambition.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

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#459597 - 01/28/14 01:06 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
I know I should be active in posting and responding. Just really struggling here lately and when I'm struggling it's so utterly difficult to do much more than just read.

Was stupid and shared a bit about my struggle with connecting with others. Well someone who obviously has never had that issue gave advice that would be really simple for someone who doesn't have the issue, and when I replied and shared that this issue with connecting and feeling like I fit in or belong has been a struggle my whole life.... the reply was basically a statement that they doubt my "relationship" with God because if I did, then I wouldn't feel that way.

I hate this work of trying to connect with others. So far it's always been more work and pain that it's been worthwhile.

Takes me back to place where I want to just want to give up entirely and keep to myself.

I realize more and more that the only one who CAN provide for my needs and heal my hurts is God. Yet everyone insists we're not supposed to be alone. Frustrating.

The passages you've posted are certainly true. For all my seeking and striving and working it's produced nothing but more hurt and emptiness.

Been looking for love, acceptance, belonging, care, compassion, understanding, etc in all the wrong places.

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#459610 - 01/28/14 03:55 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: JustScott]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
Quote:
I realize more and more that the only one who CAN provide for my needs and heal my hurts is God. Yet everyone insists we're not supposed to be alone. Frustrating.


exactly!!!

i can't even get one drop of comfort from human beings.
never could, and now i am certain i never will.
i cannot even rely on myself for compassion.
i can be my cruelest critic.
god has given me EVERYTHING i need.
the sad part is, now that i have been saved and cured through my relationship with Jehovah through Jesus Christ,
the people in my life are actually starting to attack or abandon me.
they don't want me to have this beautiful relationship with my creator.
some even say they prefer the old me.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!

i would not go back to my old personality for all the money in the world.

GALATIANS 1
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?
Or am I trying to please men?
If I were still trying to please men,
I would not be a servant of Christ.


i have lost all of my former friends.
one guy i have known for forty years just told me last week that he can't hang out with Christians and asked me to stop calling him.
our last two conversations was him telling me that i was a fool.
another friend (20 year friendship) has told me that he does not want to talk about spiritual matters, and gets irritated the minute the subject comes up.
that has made our conversations dull and difficult. i have not seen him since i told him i don't smoke pot anymore.

MATTHEW 5
Blessed are you when people insult you,
persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven,
for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
You are the salt of the earth.
But if the salt loses its saltiness,
how can it be made salty again?
It is no longer good for anything,
except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
You are the light of the world.
A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.
Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before men,
that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.


good riddance if they cannot handle my love of god.
the up side is, i have new healthy relationships with other believers.
the conversations are exciting and serious and meaningful and fruitful.

REJOICE!

JAMES 1
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.



i have never been happier in my life.
everything is better, and it stays that way.

of course, when i experience misfortunes, some fears, doubts, worries, anger start to set in,
like the car accident i had last Wednesday.
we all get kicked in the teeth.
that is life.
the troubles of this world, the tortures and torments, the trials and tribulations, the temptations...
those things will never end IN THIS WORLD OF FLESH.
in fact, the enemies of god are all against me now,
and they don't want me to quit the cult of evil.
people keep trying to drag me back down into the mud pit whenever i reach back in to pull them out.

ROMANS 8

What shall we then say to these things?
If God be for us, who can be against us?
He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all,
how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect?
It is God that justifieth.
Who is he that condemneth?
It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again,
who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


i have learned how to protect and defend my self and my soul.
every attack against me is an opportunity for growth in god.
he delivers and fulfills, i receive and heal.
my down days are now only minutes to hours long,
minor distractions to my joy.
the depression and dark moods cannot grow in the light of my lord and his infinite love.
bad feelings do not take hold, they disappear, they flee.
the weeds cannot grow without my permission.
prayer... bible... fellowship.

life is a war! and i am a warrior!

EPHESIANS 6

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers,
against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit,
and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel
.

_________________________
Victor|Victim

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#459628 - 01/28/14 08:34 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 849
Loc: Kc,Mo
when you become a christian your life begins to resemble a pyrimid the base is laid the foundation of christ.As you grow and begin to gain strength and faith your pyrimid gets small as you go up friends get weeded out even some family memebers. The higher you go the less people are around becuase your begin to realize the love for god begins to trump all of the worldy people and unspiritual people begin to fall away and you are eventually left with only those god would have you be around
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#459633 - 01/28/14 09:06 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
thank god for that wink

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?
Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6


And be not conformed to this world:
but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,
that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12

I have given them your word,
and the world has hated them because they are not of the world,
just as I am not of the world.
I do not ask that you take them out of the world,
but that you keep them from the evil one.

John 17

If ye were of the world, the world would love his own;
but because ye are not of the world,
but I have chosen you out of the world,
therefore the world hateth you.

John 15

For though we walk in the flesh,
we are not waging war according to the flesh.

2 Corinthians 10
_________________________
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#459712 - 01/29/14 04:14 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Here I am.

I am one of you.

I haven't read everything said here (yet) but I'm pretty sure I know what you're talking about.

Yes I'm one two.

Following is my statement about God's activity in my life. It is a quotation from the Psalm of David, no. 34, New Living Translation

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.


Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (01/29/14 04:37 PM)

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#459753 - 01/30/14 03:42 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
just finished the ACTS of the Apostles (again)

what an adventure!

very inspiring.

confidence in the face of conflict.
perseverance in the face of persecution.
determination in the face of deterrence.
courage in the face of corruption.
resolve in the face of resistance.
obstinance in the face of obstruction.
strength in the face of stress.
faith in the face of failure.
hope in the face of horror.

1 Corinthians 4
This, then, is how you ought to regard us:
as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the mysteries God has revealed.
Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.
I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court;
indeed, I do not even judge myself.
My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent.
It is the Lord who judges me.
Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes.
He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.
At that time each will receive their praise from God.

When we are cursed, we bless;
when we are persecuted, we endure it;
when we are slandered, we answer kindly.
We have become the scum of the earth,
the garbage of the world—right up to this moment.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

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#459833 - 01/31/14 12:05 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
i have just started to really pay close attention to Proverbs and Psalms.

divinely inspired common sense... wisdom.

for gaining wisdom and instruction;
for understanding words of insight;
for receiving instruction in prudent behavior,
doing what is right and just and fair;
for giving prudence to those who are simple,
knowledge and discretion to the young—
let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance—
for understanding proverbs and parables,
the sayings and riddles of the wise.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Out in the open Wisdom calls aloud,
she raises her voice in the public square;
on top of the wall she cries out,
at the city gate she makes her speech:
“How long will you who are simple love your simple ways?
How long will mockers delight in mockery
and fools hate knowledge?”
PROVERBS 1

-------------------
The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.
They are corrupt, they have done abominable works,
there is none that doeth good.
PSALM 14

-------------------
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
PROVERBS 26


i was such a fool, for so long.
i can barely remember who i was, or why i was.
all i can remember is a cloud of confused thought and pain.

studying the bible, praying to Jehovah the creator in the name of Jesus Christ, and true Christian fellowship, has dramatically and drastically improved my life and lifestyle.

the best part is the quality of my emotional state.
we are talking orders of magnitude, not percentages.
we are talking total transformation.

this is what i always dreamed recovery would feel like.

thank you god!
i praise your holy name.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

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#459856 - 01/31/14 06:04 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: nltsaved]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: nltsaved

Psalms 1 1-6
1Blessed is the one

who does not walk in step with the wicked

or stand in the way that sinners take

or sit in the company of mockers


"Do not keep company with a hot-tempered man
Or get involved with one disposed to rage,
So that you never learn his ways
And ensnare yourself
."
Proverbs 22:24-25


I sure wish I had taken this advice a looooooong time ago.
Now it is too late.
I am a hot-tempered man, disposed to rage!
I learned those ways, and I have ensnared myself.

all i can do now is work harder to get better.
Matt 5:48: "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.”
2 Cor. 7:1: “Therefore, having these promises, beloved,
let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.”
1 Thessalonians 3:10: “Night and day praying exceedingly that we might see your face,
and might perfect that which is lacking in your faith?”
1 Peter 5:10: “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus,
after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect,
establish, strengthen, settle you.”
Philippians 1:6: “And I am convinced and sure of this very thing,
that He who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ,
developing and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.”
2 Cor. 13:11: “Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind,
live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.”


_________________________
Victor|Victim

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#459894 - 02/01/14 06:36 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
the biggest problem i have always had with god is that i am not god.

then i realized...
what kind of fool would engage in a power struggle with the creator of the universe?

I said in my heart,
“I will ascend to the heavens;
I will raise my throne
above the stars of God;
I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly,
on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon.
I will ascend above the tops of the clouds;
I will make myself like the Most High.”

In the pride of my heart
I said, “I am a god;
I sit on the throne of a god
in the heart of the seas.”
But I am a mere mortal and not a god,
though I think I am as wise as a god.

Will I then say, “I am a god,”
in the presence of those who kill me?
I will be but a mortal, not a god,
in the hands of those who slay me.

this i do confess and repent.

I admit I am powerless—that my life is unmanageable.
Things happened, happen, and will continue to happen that are beyond my control.
I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him.
I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.
I came to realize that I have no right to criticize anyone,
least of all the creator of the universe.
I admit to God, to myself, and to other human beings the exact nature of my wrongs.
I continue to confess and repent.
I pray to God to forgive and remove all these defects of character.
I humbly ask Him to forgive and remove my shortcomings, every day.
I pray for the power to forgive myself and others for these shortcomings and defects in all of us.
I acknowledge all persons I have harmed,
and I am willing to make amends to them all.
I make direct amends to such people wherever possible.
I continue to take personal inventory,
and when I am wrong, I promptly admit it.
I seek through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God as I understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I have tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all my affairs.

I thank god that I was never trained or programmed or pressured religiously as a child.
I thank god that I have come to my own conclusions by my own free will.
My belief system is not based on indoctrination, ritual, intimidation, manipulation, geography, family, convenience, conformity, etc, as it is with most labels.
I rely on research, prayer, and fellowship.
I adopt only methods and techniques that work for me.
I am free to abandon or correct those methods that no longer work or, having already worked, are no longer needed.
My curiousity has led me to where I currently am.
I like where I am.
Grateful to God.

----------------------
SPIRITUAL

1) of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit : incorporeal

2) a: of or relating to sacred matters
b: ecclesiastical rather than lay or temporal

3) concerned with religious values

4) related or joined in spirit

5) a : of or relating to supernatural beings or phenomena
b: of, relating to, or involving spiritualism


RELIGIOUS

1) relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity

2) of, relating to, or devoted to religious beliefs or observances

3) a: scrupulously and conscientiously faithful
b: fervent, zealous

----------------------------

i never made much of a distinction between the two myself,
but at least now i have some idea.

i looked into the etymology of the root words.

-----------------------
Religious: "state of life bound by monastic vows," also "conduct indicating a belief in a divine power," from Anglo-French religiun, Old French religion "piety, devotion; religious community," and directly from Latin religionem (nominative religio) "respect for what is sacred, reverence for the gods; conscientiousness, sense of right, moral obligation; fear of the gods; divine service, religious observance; a religion, a faith, a mode of worship, cult; sanctity, holiness".

Spiritual: "of or concerning the spirit" (especially in religious aspects), from Old French spirituel, esperituel or directly from a Medieval Latin ecclesiastical use of Latin spiritualis "of or pertaining to breath, breathing, wind, or air; pertaining to spirit," from spiritus "of breathing, of the spirit". Meaning "of or concerning the church".

----------------------------------

i would say that i fall under both these labels from time to time,
depending on who's making the definition.
but i am a severe skeptic, a bible believer,
a follower, a doubter, a repentant rebel,
a sinner seeking salvation, a hypocrite,
doing my best to be better.

prayer, study, and fellowship.
loving, learning, and sharing.


i love the bible.
i read it every day.
i love to pray.
i do it every day.
i worship the creator.
i praise the creator.
i thank the creator.
i fear the creator.
i love the creator.
i love the creation.
i love the creatures.
i love jesus.
i love myself.
i love mankind.
i love life.
i love.

i will let others decide what to label me.

i traded in sex n drugs and punkrock for
bible n prayer n fellowship.
so far it has been the best thing that has happened to me in my 52 years of life.

way better people.
way better party.

i believe the universe was designed and created by some intelligent being for a purpose.
there is simply not enough time left in my life to explain how i arrived at that conclusion.
it took me a lifetime to get to this point.
i cannot prove it and do not intend to defend that position.
this is an opinion that i currently hold, based on my own personal knowledge and experience.
the only god i am interested in worshipping is the god that created and designed everything.
the source.
the cause.
the purpose and will behind, beneath and beyond whatever exists.
when i used the word 'god' at the beginning of this thread, that is what i meant.
the point of posting was to share a personal breakthrough in my own ongoing quest for meaning and purpose in my life.

it may be that all kinds of invisible/undiscovered/supernatural/extraterrestrial/interdimensional beings exist outside or within our time/space continuum.
whether such sentient entities are really real does not require my consent.
i would consider any and all of these spirits to be creations and creatures, not the creator.
it really does not matter what god i believe in.
what matters is which god i choose to give my submission, devotion and worship.

the creator i pray to is still beyond my definition or comprehension.
the creator might even be beyond my prayers,
but i will continue to be grateful to god.
i enjoy expressing that joy.
it is genuine and sincere.

after decades of denial, defense, doubt and due diligence, soul searching struggles, skeptical subjective scientific studies, subconscious spiritual self seeking, extreme emotional esoteric experiences and experiments, rebellion, resistance, rituals, rigorous reading and research, and careful contemplative consideration, i finally became an expert on my own ego.

i never wanted to believe in god or anything supernatural or spiritual.
life after death is about as interesting to me as life before birth.
lifestyle and quality of life on earth is what motivates me.
my deepest wish has always been that none of it is true,
but i don't make the rules.
as i said earlier... i am not god.

despite my desires and efforts,
against my own judgement and wishes,
counter to my own intuition and instinct,
i believe in a creator who cares.

anything less does not interest me.
anything less would not be interested in me.
anything less does not deserve my adoration or attention.

a mechanical universe without personality, purpose, intelligence or design does not interest me infinitely.
a god i cannot contact or communicate with does not interest me in any way.


the point of my post was this.

i have tried god.
denied god.
decried god.
destroyed god.
despised god.
demonized god.
criticized god.
cursed god.
hated god.
debated god.
negated god.
voided god.
avoided god.
ignored god.
abhorred god.
judged god.
sentenced god.
begged god.
blasphemed god.
blamed god.
defamed god.

i was unable to find emotional/philosophical/psychological/psychic/psychedelic/physical/pharmaceutical/medical/mental solutions to my spiritual problems.
if the spirit is a product of the imagination,
then i needed imaginative imaginary solutions to my imagined problems.
it was tragic.
my logic was no match for magic.
i was unable to pretend or reason or imagine my imagination into nonexistence.

if the holy spirit is imaginary, then i have the best imaginary friend i have ever had.
if this is trading one addiction for another,
then i have definitely traded up.

the bible has helped me understand my situation better than any other holy book or ancient text or self help system or therapy session i have ever encountered, employed, or embraced.

i read the bible every day,
and i apply the techniques,
and i get the results, as advertised.
to my skeptic surprise.

i will let you know when it lets me down.

i don't concern myself with the ideas behind Christianity.
i am not interested in the traditions of man.
i am a child of god.
i seek the light.
i read the bible.
i praise jhvh the creator.
i love jesus as intercessor.
i seek fellowship in the holy spirit and the body of christ.
not only has my life improved,
my personality has completely transformed.

i resisted Christianity my entire life because i thought it was illogical nonsense.
i would have much rathered a belief system that fit my preferred lifestyle and worldview,
but after a lifetime of errors, i will settle for something that works.
And Christianity works...
but if and only when i:
- read the bible.
- surrender to the will of JHVH.
- obey the commandments.
- follow JHSVH.
- confess, repent, and forgive.
- praise JHVH the creator in the name of his son JHSVH the Messiah.
- love all his children as siblings.

that is what i consider Christianity.
that is what i am trying to achieve.
with the help of prayer, study and fellowship, it is being achieved, much easier than i ever thought possible.

i was betrayed by "christians".
it made me hate the church, god, man, and myself.
but those undercover pedophiles have infiltrated every organization on the planet, especially where there are vulnerable children and gullible parents.
after decades of searching, i did not find one single secular or spiritual social group that did not contain the same hidden hazard, especially when children were involved.

wherever there are people engaged in social activity,
there will always be abuse and ignorance and dishonesty and corruption.
rejecting god did not make the evil go away in my life.
avoiding church did not protect me from predators.

if the diaper is dirty, i don't dispose of my baby,
i wash my child and flush the crap.
the diaper is not the baby.
the church is not god.
empty rituals are a waste of time.
form without content.
without sincere prayer and bible study,
the church is nothing more than a social club.

the bible tells me to:
1) trust in the father.
2) believe in the son.
3) receive the holy spirit.
4) forgive my brother.

although i am commanded "thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself",
it does not tell me anywhere to trust my fellow human.
(if i have overlooked that scripture, someone please correct me.)

instead, i get the opposite.
the bible tells me that i am like a sheep among wolves, some of which are wearing sheepskins, and i should be as harmless as a dove, and as wise as a serpent.

How much of my faith is truly my own?
all of it.
100% self taught, ego filtered, life tested and experience based.
How much is influenced, expected and demanded by all those around my who are immersed in it?
none of it. i am currently seeking and building a fellowship support network.
If i was born somewhere else where my family and neighbors and all around me were followers of a different faith, would i become Christian?
i cannot answer that one directly, but i can tell you that i was raised without religion in a multicultural society.
any contact i had with christians and churches was completely negative, my rapist was a "christian", my fondler was a "christian", my friends were being abused by "christians".
jesus did not "save" me from sexual abuse.
i rejected religion, for pretty much the reasons you have outlined, holy wars etc, and began a lifelong journey to find inner peace and joy without god.
naturally, i started with hedonism and nihilism.
any time god crossed my mind, my immediate reaction was rebellion and rage.
if god existed, he deserved my disdain.
after this experiment ended in disaster, i felt compelled to seek some spiritual answers.
i experimented with every spiritual system,
giving each one a serious and skeptic study.
i found solace in atheism, agnosticism, secular humanism, and many other isms. my favourite was hedonism.

i got involved in everything from the occult to eckankar.
really wanted to be a Buddhist, moved to the jungles of Thailand for some time.
chanted to hindu gods, dabbled in dianetics,
got really serious about my native aboriginal roots,
worshipped the sun, the earth, and the cosmos.
i even gave satan a shot.
when all else failed, i gave the bible a try.
i thought, why not?
i had already studied all the other ancient texts and holy books.
i might as well read the whole thing from cover to cover.
i suspected/expected i would find all the flaws in it and be able to ridicule and reject christianity on a more informed basis.
the exact opposite happened.

i found a new foundation.
an undercurrent of love and joy.

my current belief system has come as a complete surprise to me, but believe me, it is based on unexplainable events that actually occurred. if i did not have other eye-witnesses to corroborate these events, i would doubt my senses.
i still don't want to believe what i know to be true.
so, in my opinion, if you had asked me ten years ago, whether i would believe in jesus the messiah, i would have laughed at you.
the answer would not have been "highly unlikely" but rather a sincere and emphatic "impossible".
my knowledge of the bible at that time, was based on a few aborted attempts to get past genesis chapter 3 before losing interest. i skipped over all the begats in matthew, scoffed at the virgin birth, but totally liked what jesus had to say.
remembered the ones that i liked and agreed with, and ignored the parts i didn't. did not buy into the messiah myth and the miracles. i paid no attention to the resurrection.
didn't even notice the salvation.
all the crucifixion meant to me was this...
even if you are innocent, you can still be tortured and put to death if you don't keep your mouth shut.
how did i ever become a follower of jesus and a believer in christ?
i will call it a miracle.

for me...
faith is not a suspension of reason.
faith is not a substitute for logic.
faith fills in the gaps between the facts.
spirits and gods do not play by our rules.

jesus christ did not condone or endorse violence.
he taught the opposite.
in fact, one of the reasons i rejected church was because of what little i had read in matthew.
jesus constantly criticizes and even condemns traditional temple teachings, holy hypocrites, corrupt churches and ritual religion.
the first part of the book of revelation is a scathing attack on churches.
later in that same book, it refers to "synagogues of Satan".
most of the new testament is advice, accusation and admonition addressed to christian churches and congregations.
both john the baptist and jesus the messiah called the pious religious leaders a "generation of vipers".
how about this... from the book of job:
Job 15:34 For the congregation of hypocrites shall be desolate, and fire shall consume the tabernacles of bribery.
Matthew 6:2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
Matthew 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

in my opinion, a church is wherever 2 or more believers are gathered in the worship of the creator.
Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Hebrews 4:12 - For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Jeremiah 23:29 - Is not my word like as a fire? saith the LORD; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?
Ephesians 6:17 - And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

the word of god can be a dangerous weapon.
a double-edged sword that cuts both ways.
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#459895 - 02/01/14 06:40 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
There are six things that Jehovah hates;

Yes, seven things that he detests:

Haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart plotting wicked schemes,
and feet that run quickly to evil,
A false witness who lies with every breath,
And anyone sowing contentions among brothers.


PROVERBS VI
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#459917 - 02/01/14 10:59 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
pufferfish Offline
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Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
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I like that one

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#459922 - 02/01/14 11:20 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
the sad thing is...

my eyes are haughty,
my tongue lies,
my hands have shed innocent blood,
my heart plots wicked schemes,
my feet run quickly to evil,
i have been a false witness,
and i have sown the seeds of discontent among my brothers.

just admitting that was difficult, almost impossible, but by accepting the guilt, i got rid of my shame.
of course, i would rather be perfect,
and i would settle for excellent,
but i am willing to work for it, and i have.

i have such pride issues, that i started getting proud of my humility.
this Christian commitment is harder than i thought,
but the results are worth it.
i have improved... massively, immensely, immeasurably.

the improvements have been dramatic, and permanent so far.

the work continues.

bible study,
prayer to Jehovah in the name of Jesus Christ.
fellowship with real Christians.
obedience, submission, worship, praise, gratitude.

glory to god!
life is beautiful.
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#460097 - 02/04/14 04:05 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else,
for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself,
because you who pass judgment do the same things.
Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth.
So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things,
do you think you will escape God’s judgment?
Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience,
not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?
...

All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law,
and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law.
For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight,
but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous.
Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law,
they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law.
They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts,
their consciences also bearing witness,
and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.


ROMANS CHAPTER 2

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#460103 - 02/04/14 08:35 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
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Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Romans is such a fantastic book. So much depth. I learn something new every time I read through it.

I love when people wonder why God doesn't just swoop down and destroy all the "evil doers". It's right there... "His Kindness, forbearance and PATIENCE, not realizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?"

God longs for reconciliation. To that end, He is patient. Justice and Judgement will come some day, but in the mean time, He is offering Grace and Mercy, desiring us to come to Him and enter again into relationship.

I'm reading a book currently. Hoping to get a men's discipleship group going at my church. It's called, "No Matter the Cost". It's good so far and even has a 6 week group study in the back.

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#460178 - 02/05/14 01:12 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
JustScott Offline
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Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Quote:
18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 19 And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. 20 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. 21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. 22 And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. 23 And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.


Highlight mine of course...

Basically.... If you struggle with guilt or shame, if your heart condemns you.... No worries, God is greater than what you feel in your heart and He knows everything about what you are dealing with.

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#460454 - 02/10/14 05:37 PM Psalm 1 [Re: JustScott]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
Happy is the man who does not walk according to the advice of the wicked
And does not stand on the path of sinners
And does not sit in the seat of scoffers.
But his delight is in the law of Jehovah,
And he reads His law in an undertone day and night.
He will be like a tree planted by streams of water,
A tree that produces fruit in its season,
The foliage of which does not wither.
And everything he does will succeed.
The wicked are not like that;
They are like the chaff that the wind blows away.
That is why the wicked will not remain standing in the judgment;
Nor will sinners remain standing in the assembly of the righteous.
For Jehovah is aware of the way of the righteous,
But the way of the wicked will perish.

PSALM 1

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#460506 - 02/11/14 05:46 PM Ecclesiastes 7 [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
god's advice for me today.
___________________________

A wise person thinks a lot about death,
while a fool thinks only about having a good time.

Better to listen to a wise man’s rebuke than to listen to the song of fools.
For as the crackling of thorns burning under the pot, so is the laughter of the fool; and this too is futility.
But oppression can drive the wise one into madness, and a bribe corrupts the heart.

Finishing is better than starting.
Patience is better than pride.
Control your temper,
for anger labels you a fool.
Don’t long for “the good old days.”
This is not wise.
Wisdom is even better when you have money.
Both are a benefit as you go through life.
Wisdom and money can get you almost anything,
but only wisdom can save your life.
Accept the way God does things,
for who can straighten what he has made crooked?
Enjoy prosperity while you can,
but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God.
Remember that nothing is certain in this life.

I have seen everything in this meaningless life,
including the death of good young people and the long life of wicked people.
So don’t be too good or too wise!
Why destroy yourself?
On the other hand, don’t be too wicked either.
Don’t be a fool! Why die before your time?
Pay attention to these instructions, for anyone who fears God will avoid both extremes.
One wise person is stronger than ten leading citizens of a town!
Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins.
Don’t eavesdrop on others; you may hear your servant curse you.
For you know how often you yourself have cursed others.
I have always tried my best to let wisdom guide my thoughts and actions.
I said to myself, “I am determined to be wise.” But it didn’t work.
Wisdom is always distant and difficult to find.


Ecclesiastes 7
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#460532 - 02/11/14 10:23 PM 2 Corinthians 4 [Re: JustScott]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
The word of God gives me Hope.
________________________________

Therefore, since God in his mercy has given us this new way,
we never give up.
We reject all shameful deeds and underhanded methods.
We don’t try to trick anyone or distort the word of God.
We tell the truth before God,
and all who are honest know this.
If the Good News we preach is hidden behind a veil,
it is hidden only from people who are perishing.
Satan, who is the god of this world,
has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe.
They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News.
They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ,
who is the exact likeness of God.
You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves.
We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord,
and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake.
For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,”
has made this light shine in our hearts
so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.
We now have this light shining in our hearts,
but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.
This makes it clear that our great power is from God,
not from ourselves.
We are pressed on every side by troubles,
but we are not crushed.
We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.
We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God.
We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus
so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus,
so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies.
So we live in the face of death,
but this has resulted in eternal life for you.
But we continue to preach
because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said,
“I believed in God, so I spoke.”
We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus,
will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you.
All of this is for your benefit.
And as God’s grace reaches more and more people,
there will be great thanksgiving,
and God will receive more and more glory.
That is why we never give up.
Though our bodies are dying,
our spirits are being renewed every day.
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!
So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now;
rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.
For the things we see now will soon be gone,
but the things we cannot see will last forever.

2 Corinthians 4

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#461207 - 02/21/14 02:49 AM Matthew 9:23-24 [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
I found something new in matthew, that really hit home for me.
the tears of a father, for his child.

Jesus said unto him, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."
And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief."

Matthew 9:23-24

i am going through some stuff with my children right now,
and this was more than a trigger, it was a bullet.
it really expresses my desperation and doubt.
i have prayed these thoughts many times,
speaking them out loud to the sky,
and softly into my pillow.
i have received some powerful answers.
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#461399 - 02/24/14 04:58 PM Re: Matthew 9:23-24 [Re: victor-victim]
Marinan Offline
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Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
I feel like no one cares about me sometimes, and just want me to fit in instead of believing the truth about myself, the world around me, and others. Like a damned cog in the wheel instead of a person.

"Lord, I believe, please help me in my unbelief". That's what I have to think to myself so often when I'm constantly brain washed and conditioned to think of myself as nothing all the time."

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#461401 - 02/24/14 06:14 PM Re: Matthew 9:23-24 [Re: Marinan]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
"lord, i believe, but help me with my unbelief" is included in almost every one of my prayers. instead of wiping out my doubts, he answers my questions, one at a time, as i slowly become more able to receive understanding.

whenever i get low on love and faith... i get it from god.
a good honest prayer can really recharge my batteries.
but sometimes it is hard to pray.
sometimes doubt gets in the way.
i rebel. i disobey.
i turn my back. i curse his name.
i struggle with a sense of shame.
there are no secrets and nothing is hidden from the eyes of god.
it can get to the point where i feel like i am not worthy to worship my creator.
i might even stop praying.
get busy with life and work.
this can go on for days and weeks,
and the longer it takes for me me to make things right between me and the lord, the harder it hurts.

so i get started with some scripture.
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=436782

faith is a choice.
an action. a force.
it feels right.
but it's hard to do,
the results are good.
but the rewards are few.
faith promotes love in me,
which i can share infinitely,
through acts of charity,
so christ commanded me.
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#468204 - 07/30/14 04:23 AM the game of THORNS [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
current topic of study for me…

thorns.


in my flesh------------------------------------------
So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,
a thorn was given me in the flesh,
a messenger of Satan to harass me,
to keep me from becoming conceited.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.
But he said to me,
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses,
in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12)

the curse of thorns------------------------------------------
To Adam he said,
“Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree
about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’
“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.”
(Genesis 3)


the crown of thorns------------------------------------------
The soldiers led Jesus away into the palace and called together the whole company of soldiers.
They put a purple robe on him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on him.
And they began to call out to him, “Hail, king of the Jews!”
Again and again they struck him on the head with a staff and spit on him.
Falling on their knees, they paid homage to him.
(Mark 15 - Matthew 27 - John 19)


the seed among thorns------------------------------------------
“Listen! A farmer went out to sow his SEED.
As he was scattering the SEED, some fell along the path,
and the birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil.
It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow.
But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched,
and they withered because they had no root.
Other SEED fell among thorns,
which grew up and choked the plants,
so that they did not bear grain.
Still other SEED fell on good soil.
It came up, grew and produced a crop,
some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.”
(Mark 4)

“Listen then to what the parable of the sower means:
When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it,
the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart.
This is the SEED sown along the path.
The SEED falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word
and at once receives it with joy.
But since they have no root, they last only a short time.
When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.
The SEED falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word,
but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word,
making it unfruitful.
But the SEED falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word
and understands it.
This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred,
sixty or thirty times what was sown.”
(Matthew 13)



the path of thorns------------------------------------------
The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway. (Proverbs 15)

the crackling of thorns------------------------------------------
It is better to heed the rebuke of a wise person
than to listen to the song of fools.
Like the crackling of thorns under the pot,
so is the laughter of fools.
This too is meaningless.
(Ecclesiastes 7)




the fruit of thorns------------------------------------------
"By their fruit you will recognize them.
Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?
Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.
A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.
Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them."
(Matthew 7)


the field of thorns------------------------------------------
It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened,
who have tasted the heavenly gift,
who have shared in the Holy Spirit,
who have tasted the goodness of the word of God
and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away,
to be brought back to repentance.
To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again
and subjecting him to public disgrace.
Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it
and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed
receives the blessing of God.
But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless
and is in danger of being cursed.
In the end it will be burned.
(Hebrews 6)


slashing through the thorns with the sword (word) of god.

Ephesians 6> "Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

2 Corinthians 4> “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.”

1 Peter 4> “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.”

Hebrews 12> “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

James 1> "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."

1 Corinthians 10> "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

2 Corinthians 4> “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”



anyone else have some courage and comfort to contribute?
looking for similar scripture to inspire strength.
anything to add?

is there anyone out there
with wisdom to spare
and willing to share?

stuck in some thick thornbushes.
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#468207 - 07/30/14 05:55 AM Re: the game of THORNS [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
more gardening by god.


i wrote a poem.
as i read this poem a day after i wrote it,
i realized where the images in my mind originated.

first… the poem: GENESIS REVELATION
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=468206


next… the scripture: GENESIS to REVELATION
“A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.”
“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.”
(LUKE 8 - MARK 4 - MATTHEW 13)

“The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’ He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’ But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn.”’”
“He who sows the good seed is the Son of Man. The field is the world, the good seeds are the sons of the kingdom, but the tares are the sons of the wicked one. The enemy who sowed them is the devil, the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are the angels. Therefore as the tares are gathered and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of this age.”
(MATTHEW 13)


"Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these."
(LUKE 12 - MATTHEW 6)



“All people are like grass,
and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of JHVH blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God endures forever.”
(ISAIAH 40 - 1 PETER 1)


"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Against such things there is no law."
(GALATIANS 5)

Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
“I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food."
(GENESIS 1)


“You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
(GENESIS 2)

"When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves."
(GENESIS 3)

"From the mouth of the righteous comes the fruit of wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be silenced."
"The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and the one who is wise saves lives."
"From the fruit of their lips people are filled with good things, and the work of their hands brings them reward."
"From the fruit of their lips people enjoy good things, but the unfaithful have an appetite for violence."
"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
"The one who guards a fig tree will eat its fruit."
(PROVERBS)


"Tell the righteous it will be well with them,
for they will enjoy the fruit of their deeds."
"And the desert becomes a fertile field,
and the fertile field seems like a forest.
The Lord’s justice will dwell in the desert,
his righteousness live in the fertile field.
The fruit of that righteousness will be peace;
its effect will be quietness and confidence forever."
"Though hail flattens the forest
and the city is leveled completely,
how blessed you will be,
sowing your seed by every stream."
(ISAIAH 3 & 32)

"This is what the Lord JHVH says: I myself will take a shoot from the very top of a cedar and plant it; I will break off a tender sprig from its topmost shoots and plant it on a high and lofty mountain. On the mountain heights of Israel I will plant it; it will produce branches and bear fruit and become a splendid cedar. Birds of every kind will nest in it; they will find shelter in the shade of its branches. All the trees of the forest will know that I the Lord bring down the tall tree and make the low tree grow tall. I dry up the green tree and make the dry tree flourish."
(EZEKIEL 17)

"I looked, and there before me stood a tree in the middle of the land. Its height was enormous. The tree grew large and strong and its top touched the sky; it was visible to the ends of the earth. Its leaves were beautiful, its fruit abundant, and on it was food for all. Under it the wild animals found shelter, and the birds lived in its branches; from it every creature was fed."
(DANIEL 4)

"Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek JHVH, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you. But you have planted wickedness, you have reaped evil, you have eaten the fruit of deception.
(HOSEA 10)


“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
(JEREMIAH 17)


"The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."
"By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them."
“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit."
(MATTHEW 3 & 7 & 12) (LUKE 3 & 6)


"Continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience."
(COLOSSIANS 1)


"Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations."
(REVELATION 22)


Originally Posted By: Anais Nin
"The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
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#468512 - 08/04/14 10:38 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: nltsaved]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: nltsaved
There are certain aspects of Calvinism I really enjoy.


Please tell me more. i know little to nothing on calvinism.

Originally Posted By: nltsaved
How far do we take the sovereignty of God ?


in my humble opinion, we take it as far as he permits.
the absolute sovereignty of the creator of the universe is invulnerable to any action of his creatures.
free will is a finite gift, it has limited power.


god is generous with his grace and mercy, and his patience is obvious,
but it appears that scripture says that patience will end.

as for the rest of your question...

i have come to the same conclusion as you. there is nothing i disagree with in your original post (reposted below).

i can only agree with an amen and an additional scripture.
god does what god wants, but what does god want, and what do we need to know?

Exodus 33:19
"And JHVH said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, JHVH, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."

Jer 21:14 (NIV) "I will punish you as your deeds deserve, declares the Lord."


Revelation 4:11
Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.

Genesis 1:26-28
Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

Ecclesiastes 12:13
Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.

Matthew 22:36-40
Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. and the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.


Matthew 5:48
Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

there you have it. fairly simple in a sense.
mission impossible!
i welcome the challenge.

Originally Posted By: nltsaved


What are your thoughts on the sovereignty of God , how far do you take it?

All salvation is of grace. I am leaning towards God does what he wants and because we being human want to know and understand and have reason revealed to us that we do want to believe in a God who predestines some to be saved and others to be raised up only to fall.

I am finding in my study that God does things that we will never be able to comprehend. Things that we might see as unfair or dare I say unjust and yet there are deeper more profound meanings behind his actions. Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.


How far do we take the sovereignty of God ? I am almost to the point of thinking God is really sovereign in ALL things whether we understand him or his actions or not or whether we can reason our way into rejecting it or accepting.In the end I am just trusting God in all things for all things and committing to God being sovereign in all things because I think in my own opinion that in doing so it will put him in the highest place in my life that I can place him. Sovereign in all things trusting him in all things and whether i agree with it or not. Just knowing He is everything he says he is and really i have no reason not to believe this because for this verse 30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. I have seen in my life he has justified me and i feel predestined and he has glorified me in many ways and put me in positions to glorify him through me and has set me in places to do great things and areas that I could never have achieved without God. I have no high school diploma and work at a job that requires one and make more money than most people with college degrees I have held 3 management positions in my life with not high school diploma he has allowed me to go on the oprah show and have the local news paper do a story on me and God uses me to do a prison ministry to bring the gospel to prisoners some even being child molesters . I say ONLY the grace and glory of God could any of this have been possible. I feel a sense of predestination not in the sense of being better than anyone but I do feel that God does choose those whom he chooses and chooses to do other things for people that i will never understand. Does it mean some our destine for hell ? well if it means to further bring him glory than i would say yes . Hell is not a place of fire and burning it is simply life without God life knowing you could of had a relationship with God and live in his presence . Instead rejecting God and having to live eternity separated from his presence. You have to read scripture in light of scripture and as a totality . When doing this you are able to grasp God i believe more correctly . Scripture in light of scripture . Yes there is a lot God does that would make you scratch your head and some that has the appearance of contradiction but examined in light of all scripture it is not contradicted at all and in the totality of scripture it reveals God love his sovereignty and his compassion time and time again.

There is so much glory and majesty about god that truly we do not understand, although we see great evils and we see here on earth how we would handle some things and have our own ideas of what justice and fairness is. Yet God see's things past present future and knows exactly what the causes and effects will be not only that he knows the amount of people it will effect the most. Add in everything is for his ultimate glory.
example
I mean If you had to determined who lives and who dies and had to make a decision in a scenario of your son or someone you knew was in a house that was about to explode and you could only get one person out of 6 which one would you pick? Most would pick their loved one, But God who is omnipotent knows that one of those people would go on to find a cure for cancer God would know who would go on to bring him the most glory where we would most likely go off our feelings and emotions.


Romans 9
It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.
For Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”
Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.
One of you will say to me: “Then why does God still blame us? For who is able to resist his will?”
But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”
Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?

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#468566 - 08/05/14 10:40 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I need to say more a bit later when I have a bit more time.

But I didn't find God until I was at the end of my own resources.

This happens easily as a child when I don't have resources to defend.

But beyond being a small child, I had to be at the end of myself to be open to God, who is beyond.

Puffer


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#468568 - 08/05/14 11:16 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: nltsaved]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: nltsaved
Jeremiah 17 5-8
Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord.



i can't trust man.
i am a man.
i can't trust myself.
i catch myself lying to myself all the time.
i am flesh. the flesh is weak.
a flower among thorns.

Originally Posted By: Apostle Paul
"What if some were unfaithful?
Will their unfaithfulness nullify God’s faithfulness?
Not at all!
Let God be true, and every human being a liar.
"
Romans 3


true,
i am flesh,
but i am spirit,
and the spirit is willing.

in god's image.
i am honoured.

thanks, nltsaved.
you got me thinking again.



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#468569 - 08/05/14 11:34 PM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: pufferfish]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: pufferfish
I need to say more a bit later when I have a bit more time.


looking forward to it smile

Originally Posted By: pufferfish

But I didn't find God until I was at the end of my resources.
Puffer



same here.

christianity and the bible and jesus and salvation was the absolute last resort for me.
no other discipline produced such a profound transformation in my paradigm.
the inner peace seems genuine and durable.
still a skeptic. still a seeker.
if there be something better, i say, "show me."
until then...

Joshua 24:15 New International Version (NIV)

"If serving JHVH seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve JHVH.”
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#468951 - 08/15/14 04:26 AM Re: calling all christian survivors [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
just lived through some serious nightmare sh!t,
but kept my spirits up and my soul on track with some excellent scripture.
which i have shared below.

the lesson from this recent injury was all about letting go and letting god work in me through me.
putting principles into practice.
once again the power of the inspired word of god has proven true.
all promises were fulfilled.
christianity, (prayer, bible study and fellowship) was 100% effective as a coping mechanism. this trauma was not so traumatic. i did dive into the deep end of the pool but i did not drown.

i found faith in failure.
patience in pain.
strength in suffering.
comfort in chaos.
grace in grief.
dignity in disaster.

please enjoy these words as much as i did.


James 1
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.


James 5
Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!
Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.


Ecclesiastes 3
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.



full background story of recent injury and recovery.
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=467984#Post467984
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