A large part of my abuse was also very subtle and covert. I still have a hard time seeing things for what they really are, because the veil to cover the truth has been so well-crafted. Things really had to start coming out sideways before I even realized something was very wrong.
I hadn't come across Miletski's book yet, unfortunately. I just had a quick look at her website though and her prologue to her book. It seems really good - I'll be ordering it. Thanks for the heads-up.
"Only the solitary seek the truth, and they break with all those who don't love it sufficiently." - Boris Pasternak, Doctor Zhivago