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#457514 - 12/27/13 11:06 PM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 334
Loc: Iowa, USA
Sven,
Please take care of yourself. You are in a precarious position. Right now you're still in a place where you can get out, but that could change at any moment. Again, look out for you. You have so much value and you deserve better. Help is out there, take advantage of it.

Dave

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#457516 - 12/27/13 11:16 PM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 300
I did tell him a couple of times but he obviously doesn't care.
My mind blurs when I see him though, so I can only recall bits and pieces. Can't say I know why it's a recent thing and I've been seeing him for years. It's been over a year since I've tried to cut him out of my life though. So I feel the police is the only option left. But idk if I can. I mean what if I zone out there too or just don't get anything out of my mouth. Maybe I should try to write it down..
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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#457522 - 12/28/13 02:29 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
AndyS87 Offline


Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 303
Loc: sorry, but I don't say on the ...
Definitely would suggest trying to write if you can't get it out otherwise. Whether you write or type, there's something about putting words on paper that seems to let your mind be more automatic.

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#457524 - 12/28/13 04:53 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3617
Loc: South-East Europe
Please Sven talk with someone about all this. You need to find support and someone who would stand beside you and giving you feelings of protection and safety, someone who went trough similar situation and who knows how to handle it and give you advice.
Every survivor of abuse could be filled with negative feelings, insecurities and vulnerabilities and that is the reason why we were caught with abusive persons in first place and why we can't exit such relationship easily. We could need additional confidence to be able to make step forward.

You mentioned mails/chat with some professional institution that offers help to survivors of abuse?
Please ask there for help. Did you talk with them more?

There is so much to be done and I'm sure you could get the best advice only from experts dealing with abuse.
Also please keep all records from hospital about your injuries, that is evidence and could be important if you'll go to police/court.

In the cases when dealing with very abusive persons as your father and B are, the only solution is complete removal from their presence and stopping any communication with them.

You need support and a lot of knowledge and experience for such task, and you need it this moment.

I wish if I was closer I would go with you wherever is needed (police, or somewhere else) and be there for you.
It is much easier if you are not alone.

Please in first place look where to find such support and than you can think what are your options and how to get courage to do something.

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#457684 - 12/31/13 11:33 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 300
Well, something happened alright.
I had come back from work this morning, i'm not entirely sure what happened, but i was forced into his car and from there only remember bits and pieces.
Except this time i went to the hospital myself and im not sure what i said but it was enough. So finally a good thing this blackimg out because i can imagine what would be needed to get the evidence. Such ugly word, but they called it a r.pe kit.
It must have been worse what he did then i remember because appereantly i cracked some ribs. They are having me stay the night as well. And the police is all over it ofcourse.. Im not sure how to do this anymore
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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#457686 - 12/31/13 11:40 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 300
I took a piece of paper and gave the police his name and adress. I even wrote down a few lines of how i met him and of how ive been truing to get rid of him for the past year orso.
Im feeling so terribly anxious now im starting to regret the whole thing.
I dont know whats going to happen now and im dreading everything thats about to come now.
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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#457689 - 12/31/13 01:03 PM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3488
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Sven - i am hoping for a place of safety and protection for you. i can only imagine that happening if your attackers are taken out of your life. whatever happens, please hold on to hope and try to find a way of helping yourself to heal. i sincerely hope that the legal process turns out to be a help and advocate for you.
LEE
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#457692 - 12/31/13 01:43 PM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1428
Loc: California
Sven I am praying for you (and I'm not religious).
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#457697 - 12/31/13 04:16 PM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 300
I went home couldn't stand that hospital 1 minute longer.
Hopefully the police will be able to put him in jail soon...
I don't understand why i feel so conflicted about this.
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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#457780 - 01/02/14 01:18 AM Re: So the secret is out... [Re: Sven]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1584
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: Sven
I don't understand why i feel so conflicted about this.

Maybe your ambivelence comes from not being sure that you deserve to be safe. Maybe inside you feel like you are only good for being used as somebody's sex toy.

There are 12,000 guys on this web site who will agree that you DO deserve to be safe, and you were NEVER meant to be a sex toy for anybody. Trust us Sven, we've all been there.

Jude
_________________________
Can't be bothered with sorrow
And I can't be bothered with hate, no, no
I'm using up the time but feeling fine every day
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate another day of livin'
Rare Earth

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