Newest Members
Barracuda312, Just Hanging, mossTI, E35, 1975
12339 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
GeneF48 (66), kun wang (32)
Who's Online
3 registered (3 invisible), 18 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12339 Members
74 Forums
63436 Topics
443444 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Topic Options
#457687 - 12/31/13 11:47 AM New Guy
north51 Offline

Registered: 12/30/13
Posts: 7
Loc: Ontario
Hey everyone, this is my first time to this site and I'm hoping that with sharing it will help me deal with my abuse. I was 11 when it happened and have held onto it for 42 years and finally admitted that I was molested. How does this site work?

#457701 - 12/31/13 04:44 PM Re: New Guy [Re: north51]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3333
Loc: O Kanada
first of all...
i wish to welcome you to this on-line community of survivors.

how does this site work?

good question.

it works for me, when i am ready to receive.
it works for me, when i am prepared to give.
it works for me, when i am willing to share.
it works for me, when i am driven to disclose or discuss disgusting details.

it works.

it is no miracle cure.
but it'll help, i am sure.
it is not a magic pill.
but it'll help, i know it will.
it is no substitute for therapy,
but it can improve your recovery.

this site means many things, to me.
i just hope it works for you, too.



#457703 - 12/31/13 04:50 PM Re: New Guy [Re: north51]
gettingstronger Offline

Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 158
Loc: Virginia
Hi north51,

Welcome. There are lots and lots of us here who got molested at a young age, but who couldn't/didn't deal with it until much later. It's not the least bit unusual. The MS site has all sorts of great things about it for guys like us.

First, there's the postings. If you can imagine it, someone has posted on it. Everyone here is really supportive and understands what you've been through. Since we're all in the same boat in one way or another, we've all been through the gamut of feelings, emotions, issues, and so on. You name it, it's here somewhere. My advice (as someone who's also dealing with this decades after the fact) is to click around and see what's on the site.

Second, there's the chat room. You never know who will be there, but they're always really supportive. You can bring any topic you want up for discussion (just be sensitive to those who could be triggered by something, so some discretion is wise,) and everyone will support you, give you their take on it, or at least encourage you. Sometimes everyone just talks about their day, so it's not always about recovery issues.

Third, there is the Healing Circle, every Wednesday and Sunday night. This is hosted by a moderator. It's awesome. There are rules that ensure that everyone gets a chance to speak uninterrupted (i.e., there is some structure) but you can bring up anything you want. I love it.

Sorry for the long message and I don't mean to pre-empt any messages the admin people or greeters might have sent, but this is part of what the site offers. Most of all, there are thousands of us who are all pulling for each other.

I'm glad you found the site, though sad that you found it necessary to come here in the first place. It's all about healing in a safe environment where you're among your peers. Again, welcome aboard.

Don't let "three steps forward and two steps back" bother you. Thirty steps forward and twenty back are still ten steps in the right direction.

#457710 - 12/31/13 05:50 PM Re: New Guy [Re: north51]
une.vie.d.espoir Offline

Registered: 12/06/10
Posts: 106
Loc: Quebec-Canada
Just take your time and look around this site.

I want to wish you patience, I want to wish you time, I want to wish you care for yourself.


#457719 - 12/31/13 07:58 PM Re: New Guy [Re: north51]
Suwanee Offline

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 706
Loc: Southeast USA

Welcome to MaleSurvivor. Of course, I'm sorry for the reasons you sought us out, but all the same I'm glad you found us.

There are a lot of resources here that are available to aid the healing process. I always suggest that newcomers spend some time reading other posts since we often make interesting self-discoveries after reading others' stories and responses.
Share as much or a little of your own story as your comfort level allows.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Again, welcome to MS.

Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

#457776 - 01/02/14 12:41 AM Re: New Guy [Re: north51]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1513
Loc: New England
Welcome North51,

Many of us have tried to bury what happened to us as boys, only to have it erupt in our lives in middle age. As others have said, just take your time. Read what you feel comfortable taking in. Don't overdo it. Post what you feel, your experiences, and your struggles.

No its not a cure. But there's something about being free to talk about it with others who get it, and don't judge or condem, that can be very healing. Good Luck.

I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me, doctor?.
The Who


Moderator:  ModTeam, Publius, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.