At my last therapist visit, we were discussing a recent flashback and the feelings it produced. When I tried to formulate a description of them, the words were just out of reach. I stared into space trying to concentrate but other feelings would arise to distract me away from it. “Over here... No, over there! No, down here! Here... no, here... over there!”
It was like a whole army of feelings was attacking me to shut me up from expressing it, and whatever words I might grasp to use would soon dissipate into confusion like swiftly being washed away in a violent torrent. It felt like someone was reaching their hands underneath my ribs and trying to pull me apart.
From my therapist's perspective, I was merely in thought, but under the surface, I was drowning in a river. Muscles tense and breathing heavily, I was trying to think, but my mind became too numb for words and overwhelmed in feelings.