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#457724 - 12/31/13 09:44 PM Giving Voice....
Rich918 Offline

Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 45
At my last therapist visit, we were discussing a recent flashback and the feelings it produced. When I tried to formulate a description of them, the words were just out of reach. I stared into space trying to concentrate but other feelings would arise to distract me away from it. “Over here... No, over there! No, down here! Here... no, here... over there!”

It was like a whole army of feelings was attacking me to shut me up from expressing it, and whatever words I might grasp to use would soon dissipate into confusion like swiftly being washed away in a violent torrent. It felt like someone was reaching their hands underneath my ribs and trying to pull me apart.

From my therapist's perspective, I was merely in thought, but under the surface, I was drowning in a river. Muscles tense and breathing heavily, I was trying to think, but my mind became too numb for words and overwhelmed in feelings.

#457742 - 01/01/14 06:21 AM Re: Giving Voice.... [Re: Rich918]
OCN Offline

Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 373
Loc: Western Europe
Did you discuss the 'drowning in a river' with your therapist?

Perhaps its good to bring this up the next time you see her.

And concerning the anxiety, it might be that something is trying to get to the surface.. stay with your anxiety, dont be afraid of it. You dont have to nurture it, but just be aware of it. It might help you to calm down. Sometimes it helps with me.
Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

I now know who I am - I've never been anybody else!

#457753 - 01/01/14 10:51 AM Re: Giving Voice.... [Re: Rich918]
Rich918 Offline

Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 45
Next week, we're going to try drawing.

#457755 - 01/01/14 11:57 AM Re: Giving Voice.... [Re: Rich918]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3888
Loc: somewhere in Africa
sounds like what i went through at the beginning of working with a T. there was so much to get out that it was overwhelming. lots of confusing and mixed up intense emotions that i could not express or identify or explain. i called it "soup" - many ingredients that were hard to isolate and separate.

so - the good part is that you are aware of this - and that you are feeling something and are ready to work on it. you will do it. keep at the work and you will figure it out. let us know how the drawing goes.

"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"


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