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#456952 - 12/17/13 10:21 AM Your best memory?
OCN Offline


Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 219
Loc: Western Europe
Hi guys

A bit strange introduction perhaps :P but i was reading a story about a person being accused of taking pictures of little children and it made me think of my number one healing experience story in therapy from this year.

I was on a sailing vacation with 3 friends and we just got to a small harbor and i was sitting on a bench with a beer and a sigaret. A young girl came out of the cabin of a boat which was lying in the harbor and we started looking at each other. Soon we started smiling to each other. We had a great time and later she brought her Teddy, sister and parents to come and see this. So they smiled too and then it kinda stopped.

I think it took about twenty minutes in total but it was amazing. It really felt like we were both open and transparent, that there was no boundary in the laughter. It was one laughter.

Somehow young children sometimes respond in a very special way to me, its intruiging! They smile and stare at me for no reason and i must say i love it. Not because of the children, but because of the connection in these moments. It always leaves me with a feeling of spaciousness and lightness.. and it makes me realize children are not just children wink

i was wondering, what is your best memory? smile

Pieter


Edited by OCN (12/17/13 10:22 AM)
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#456966 - 12/17/13 07:59 PM Re: Your best memory? [Re: OCN]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11055
Loc: Denver, CO
Honestly, there's seems to be more than one to pick from, but one stands out tonight.

I went into the hospital for surgery back in 1999 that made my stay at the hospital last a few days. Most of that time consisted of me sleeping or staring up at a TV while I recuperated.

One good thing came out of that hospital stay, and that was the visitors who came to see me. Someone from every walk of life was there, from the barely-acquainted to close friends to family to coworkers. One of those nights saw eleven visitors, but I could not for the life of me tell you who they were!

I did not care what my hair looked like or how I felt, I was so happy to see people come to visit. That was all that mattered that week - seeing people who cared.
_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#456975 - 12/17/13 10:50 PM Re: Your best memory? [Re: OCN]
Cthulhu Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/13/13
Posts: 134
Loc: Cascadia
I have been thinking on this topic a lot recently. Grade two or three - reading my first book. I just picked up The Hobbit and decided I would learn to read via it. I did. I remember the elves in the woods so keenly. It ignited all my senses - It was like living in a watercolour but with sights and smells. It started a love affair with reading, fantasy and gave me some great escapism from all my problems later in life.
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“what matters most is how well you walk through the fire”
-Charles Bukowski

some context

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#457096 - 12/19/13 09:16 PM Re: Your best memory? [Re: Cthulhu]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL

This is easy. October the 28th 1995. The Atlanta Braves were playing the Cleveland Indians in the World Series I got to go to game six at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium. Second row of the upper deck behind third base. That night Tom Glavine pitched a historic one hit shut-out against one of the most feared lineups of that era in MLB. I believe it was the sixth inning when David Justice hit a solo home run that would be the only run we needed. Mark Wholers closed the game and the Braves won 1-0, winning the series 4 games to 2. I'll never forget it as long as I live. Still have the ticket framed and hanging on my wall in the living room. As a life-long Braves fan and a lover of the game of baseball, it was one of those nights I would tell my grandkids about someday if I ever were to have any. Of course, I don't and won't have relationships or have sex with anyone, so the telling grandkids about it someday isn't going to happen. So, when I'm old, I guess I'll just have to tell anyone who will listen. Ha ha! Peace,

Ken

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#457103 - 12/19/13 11:08 PM Re: Your best memory? [Re: OCN]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1513
Loc: New England
I've been holding off on this thread, trying to conjure something up that fits. My favorite memory is actually a period of my life, from birth to about 8 years old, when life was stable, parents were present, and I felt safe and loved.

We lived in a suburb outside NYC. One of the many housing developments built after WWII, with the houses all exactly alike, and built close together with small yards. But there was also a forest, and the nearby school playground. This was the early 1960's and it was normal for families to have 4-6 kids (yes, the baby boom), so there were lots of families living close together, and LOTS of kids. The families were mostly Irish and Italian Catholic, and they tended to have even MORE kids. We were one of the few Jewish families in the neighborhood, but there were absolutely no blacks or hispanics.

There was no internet, no computers, no video games. Transistor radios were a new invention. TV was black & white, and there were four channels. Staying indoors was boring. We never even HEARD of sex, had no idea where babies came from, and didn't care.

You could go out to play every day from morning till suppertime without stopping. There was always something going on. Pickup football games, basketball games, streetball, and a game we invented called "Kill the Guy". Huge games of Dodgeball, Simon Says, Red Light-Green Light 1-2-3. Kids were riding bikes, riding skateboards (a new invention), going fishing, catching polywogs, finding baby birds that had fallen from their nests, going to town to buy comic books, going to the school yard to play on the swings, see-saw, merry-go-round, monkey-bars, and slides. Staying in on rainy days and listening to stories on records. We built forts and tree houses in the woods, fired cap guns, or took out the caps and hit them with rocks to set them off, set off fire crackers. Had battles with Crab Apples or acorns (they sting when they hit you). And in the winter building giant snow forts, having snowball wars, building snow men. It was all just plain FUN! with no worries at all except for the dreaded moment that our Mom's would finally call us in.
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I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
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#457114 - 12/20/13 08:33 AM Re: Your best memory? [Re: OCN]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1307
...


Edited by Chase Eric (12/21/13 06:12 PM)
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#457121 - 12/20/13 10:33 AM Re: Your best memory? [Re: OCN]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 150
Loc: Chicago
As a young boy: I was either three or four years old on Christmas Eve. My parents went ballistic giving me presents. My mother was on her knees giving me one present after another for me to unwrap. All she kept doing was smiling and laughing at me, because I couldn't keep up unwrapping the gifts.

It wasn't the amount of gifts that stood out. Rather, it was the look of joy and love my mother had towards me. She wanted my Christmas to be so special. I didn't care about the presents, I just was happy that I had a family who loved me. I was grateful to see a look of pure love extended to me. I will always cherish that memory.

As an adult: Sunday, September 9, 2001. I baptized my little nephew. I was so happy to help another human being become a Christian. I felt that he was being inducted into the best community club possible. He never cried, and he was smiling the whole time. During the dinner I held him in my arms. He looked up at me, smiling. At that moment in a room filled with people, it was just he and I and God. I felt honored in so many ways that day.

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#457149 - 12/20/13 09:09 PM Re: Your best memory? [Re: OCN]
gettingstronger Offline


Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 155
Loc: Virginia
One of my happiest childhood memories, actually carrying over well into adulthood, involves visiting (and belonging to) a large railway museum in Southern California. At the time when the molestation was going on, while I was getting relentlessly bullied, while I was an outcast at school, while my parents were fighting and clueless, and so on, I could go out there with a friend, stay all day, and have a wonderful time.

Railroads were always something I knew lots about. It may have been the impersonal nature of the hobby, its mechanical (as opposed to human) aspects, and so on, but there was something that really drew me to them. Looking back, it may well have been the fact that they're machines, not people, and as such couldn't hurt you unless you stepped in front of one.

I've seen the museum grow from a few old rail cars to a huge campus, with over two hundred exhibits, period buildings, miles of track to run the trains on, and wonderful restoration facilities. Though I'm now on the East Coast, I still think of that place as the place that really saved me.

Finally, I suppose the greatest aspect of that place is that it was the one place where no one could hurt me. My molester didn't even know of it. My parents (with whom I was in a codependent relationship for decades) couldn't reach me there to bother me. The neighborhood bully was far away. So were the kids at school, my sister, and most of all, my fear.

I could forget the pain for a while, the depression would lift, I was safe, and I was actually free to have a good time, by and for myself, without having to worry about someone else's "needs." It was just me, my best friend, and an enormous number of trains. I helped on restoration for years and acquired a great deal of mechanical skill, as well.

My plan when I pass away one day is to have my ashes sprinkled there. It's still that special to me.


Edited by gettingstronger (12/26/13 09:58 AM)
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Don't let "three steps forward and two steps back" bother you. Thirty steps forward and twenty back are still ten steps in the right direction.

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#457151 - 12/20/13 09:32 PM Re: Your best memory? [Re: OCN]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 706
Loc: Southeast USA
Like Jude, I have fond memories of impossibly long days roaming the neighborhood until dusk when I got the call to come home.

I have several memories that compete for the top spot. Like many others, the most memorable aren't staged--and to the contrary are spontaneous and serendipitous.

A number of years ago between my junior and senior years in high school, a friend of mine decided to have a party while his parents were out of town. The guy lived in a huge house on Habersham Road (Atlanta). I envisioned a huge anything goes Risky Business-esque party replete with hookers, a Porsche 928, and (if lucky) a midnight ride on a MARTA train.

I was home for the summer and cutting grass for a landscaping company to make some money. Even though I was petty nasty from working all day, I still made it to his house only to find three other people there. All were good friends--my best friends, so we hung out and listened to music while we waited on the expected crowds to arrive. For whatever reason, nobody else showed up. After the obligatory jokes about a "sausage party" we relaxed a bit around the pool, drank beer like adults and just talked---not like teenage boys, but like young men who contemplated life and where we were headed.

Being July, it was broiling hot in Atlanta even at ten pm. In the days before Pandora and iTunes, we just listened to the radio but the music was just about perfect. As we finally let our guard down and talked about hopes, dreams, and fears, "Under the Milky Way" by The Church played in the background. Katydids clicked in the trees over the pool and I for once thought about the future.

Will
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My Journal

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#457420 - 12/26/13 08:28 AM Re: Your best memory? [Re: OCN]
OCN Offline


Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 219
Loc: Western Europe
Wow thank you all for sharing!
Interesting to read what is dear to you guys!

Cheers!

Peter
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Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

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