I get it ITW. Don't know that I have an answer except it sounds like we're riding in the same boat a lot. Often have the same feelings, some days better than others. Problems are somewhat different (HIV, heart attack, losing two beloved cats since Aug, dead end on a lot of projects). And, honestly, when this shit comes up, I don't get it. I don't get why I seem to be singled out.
Particularly on projects, I seem to be completely ignored by many potential clients. Good portfolio, plenty of web exposure, decades of experience, (hell) intelligent and literate. I don't get it. It's like I'm invisible. It's like I don't exist. It must be something about me, but I don't know what.
Same with the HIV. Especially this past year, just as one infection is addressed and healing, another one pops up. Going thru another one of those bouts (though minor) right now.
And the MS guys know I get damned sick and tired of it. And so sick and tired, I really just want to give up on the whole thing. Particularly when I'm hit by more than one of these things at once. Sometimes two, three or four.
So, I don't have an answer ITW. For some stupid reason I just keep on. Maybe it's because I don't know how to do anything else and I can't deal with the alternative.
Stupid answer, huh?