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#456718 - 12/12/13 09:54 PM Re: Blaming my parents? [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 119
Loc: california
In reality my dad and mom divorced when I was 14yrs old I went with my mom but a few months later returned back to the old house my dads house to live back with him becouse he was crying that he was all alone to please forgive him all the times he beat my ass severely! So I felt bad and I did that's where I honestly fd up I went down hill fast I tjkught of using becouse my mom wasn't ever coming home and I could just get high all day becouse my dad was working most if the day.. ya I really never had bond with my father . Later on when I was wiser and older I become aware of my dads games he qanted me to be there with bim so I can try to bring mom back home... But long story short sorry I went out of topic is that my father really has different ways of doing things . So csa is a "GET OVER IT" CASE . And he will never know how I been feeling living this painful life


Edited by forgive777 (12/12/13 09:55 PM)
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#456720 - 12/12/13 09:59 PM Re: Blaming my parents? [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 119
Loc: california
Thank you!
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#456722 - 12/12/13 10:04 PM Re: Blaming my parents? [Re: forgive777]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
I get the rage Bert. Different story here, but same feelings about the perp and abusive parent(s). AND student therapists who have neither the experience or knowledge to do anything but toss a few book titles at you. Been there.

Nor - not what you want to hear prolly - do I have an answer, except that there's tons of empathy here, something like 11,000 of us on MS who have walked this path.

For now, just keep posting to get it out of your system. Sounds kinda useless, you and a keyboard, but I've found it actually helps a little.

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#456723 - 12/12/13 10:10 PM Re: Blaming my parents? [Re: Lancer]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 119
Loc: california
I really do have faith being here. And I do want all this problems I opened the door to again really leave out this time around. Iam gonna seek a proffesional source to get proffesional help. Thans you makes me feel better that its almost a pattern that most abusers go and struggle threw.


Edited by forgive777 (12/12/13 10:11 PM)
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#456822 - 12/14/13 08:45 PM Re: Blaming my parents? [Re: forgive777]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 611
Tough topic.

My definition of "forgiveness" has changed quite often. Lately, to me, it means accepting that things couldn't have been any different, that things happened according to a non-judgmental, benign fate. That being said, I'm also venturing to think that maybe it is possible to forgive someone, and be angry at him/her at the same time. Anger is a natural reaction to injustice; I think it should be inevitable it (re-)surfaces from time to time. I guess my stance now is more moderate - that even with forgiveness, there is space for anger (which hopefully can be translated into motivation to change things) and sadness, while at the same time allowing me to let go of more unhealthy, potent feelings like rage and hatred that I would otherwise feel...

My 2 cents, for what it's worth.
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#460401 - 02/09/14 04:52 PM Re: Blaming my parents? [Re: forgive777]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 300
forgive777. It is really tough stuff. And yes it all seems to happen at the worst possible time and ussally on top of a bunch of other crap that is going one. I am so sorry. What i would like to say and may not be the right thing so forgive me if i screw up and say the wrong thing or the right thing in the wrong way.

I can so relate. When my moment came to step out and start dealing with stuff it was really overwhelhing and of course at the worst possible time. But when i thought about why the onslote of emotions, awarrness, insight and all that came with it. I realized I was in a very good place. I had come to a point in my life where i had stepped out of denial and all the truths and wounds of my past where now clearly in my heart and mind. I came to realize it was denial of the wounds and damage done to me was exactly what was keeping me tied to my emotional truama and wounds. As long as my denial lived - i could not.

I believe you have entered the awarness stage of recovery. the first step in the recovery process. I found it to be the most liberating, frightening, painful, and out right overwhelming. But i also realized it was exactly where i needed to be. I was healing and healing is painful at first but it really got steadly better for me and i have recovered. What kept me going was my personal commitment to allow myself to recover and my determination to heal no matter what recovery brought my way. and i would accept the many truths it would bring. So while it may suck maybe it is not a bad place to be if you are truely committed to a better life and believe me it is very possible. I know I did it and so will you.

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com - i think you will relate and i hope you find my story helpful. It speaks very clearly to what you are going thru and how i dealt with it.

As to blaming your parents. i think it is normal. When i was at the awarness stage of recovery i to became angier and angier and also finding myself blaming my parents and everyone else. for me it was part of the process.

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com


Edited by jas4159 (02/09/14 04:53 PM)
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Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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