Don't feel bad about yourself. Esposa is absolutely right-- you didn't force him to do anything. He told you, so even if nudged slightly, it's a good sign he is ready. My wife (of almost 20 years) and I had to deal with this a couple of months ago when I disclosed what happened to me, so I know what you're going through.
My wife recently told me that, about a year ago, she was thinking about asking for a divorce. That's the level to which our relationship had deteriorated (especially as far as intimacy and sex.) That was part of the "nudge" I needed to finally get over the fear and shame and tell my wife what happened. Not the details, just that I was molested over a period of years.
If I may, let me offer what my wife has offered for me. Once she got over the initial shock, she told me she would be there to talk about it if I wanted to, but she left the decision to talk about it in my hands. In other words, I am free to talk about it, or not.
One of the worst problems abuse survivors face is the shame of what happened-- even though we were the ones victimized, we still often feel like it was somehow our fault. This, and the degrading nature of what generally happens at the hands of abusers, makes it practically impossible to talk about. Let's just say that what happened to your husband is something he never should have experienced.
Some other suggestions, if I may. I'm not a therapist, but these have helped me.
First, he should consider getting a therapist trained in dealing with male sexual abuse survivors. It may take a try or two to do this, but believe me, good ones are out there.
Second, I strongly encourage him to read the posts on this site. There are thousands of them, so he's bound to find lots of information he can relate to. I only see my therapist every several weeks, but I've found an enormous amount of healing on this site, courtesy of the guys here at MS.
Third, encourage him (gently) to make healing a priority. It can't be rushed and it won't happen overnight, but the more he is willing to dig into it (including the really ugly stuff) the sooner he'll be made whole. I've tackled some truly nasty stuff in the couple of months since I started dealing with this, but I'm glad. Now I'm making progress!
Fourth, I would encourage you to be as supportive as you can. You've been through a lot too, and it's probably as hard on spouses as it is for the survivor. It will get better as he addresses it, heals from it, and puts it behind him. Little by little.
Finally, if it would help you to seek therapy or a support group for yourself, please do so. You have very
legitimate needs as a spouse, so the trick is to balance your needs with his need to heal. That might take some expert guidance. If so, don't feel bad about it. In a way, your husband's abuser has hurt you too.
Again, welcome. You've come to the right place. There are close to 12,000 of us who want you and your husband to heal.