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#455070 - 11/26/13 12:48 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
I plan to write it down and rehearse it. When I say it out loud to myself I still can't believe it's happening. I'm going to wait till the right moment maybe this weekend I don't want to tell her this close to thanks giving. I will keep y'all posted for sure. It's a crazy time.

Thanks Guys
James

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#455079 - 11/26/13 01:53 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3321
Loc: O Kanada
also, my congratulations and good wishes go out to tbkkfile and gettingstronger for finding the courage to share with their partners.

honesty=intimacy

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#455081 - 11/26/13 02:29 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: Frustrated]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3321
Loc: O Kanada
good plan, frustrated.

that is how i did it.

the script should help you stick to the story.
your partner may need some time to digest and respond,
so please be gentle and patient.

you might feel a combination of relief and apprehension after disclosing,
but the recipient could also be experiencing extreme emotional reactions as a result.

i also discovered that once i had spoken the words,
they lost their power over me.
there was no need to ever have that conversation again with my wife.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#455082 - 11/26/13 02:36 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
tbkkfile Online   content


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 163
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Victor is right honesty = intimacy, the whole dynamic of our marriage changed with that one act of me telling all, suddenly all of the things that my wife could never quite square fell into place, links were made and realizations occurred.

Its not a panacea but you know what? its a damn good place to start.

Good luck James and hope that it goes well for you
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#455083 - 11/26/13 02:47 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: tbkkfile]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3321
Loc: O Kanada
honesty=vulnerability=intimacy=empowerment

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#455597 - 11/30/13 05:03 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
OCN Offline


Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 217
Loc: Western Europe
Superb work Lee! smile
_________________________
Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

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#456304 - 12/07/13 12:08 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
Luademel Offline


Registered: 12/05/13
Posts: 6
Loc: nj
This is wonderful! Congratulations on your bravery!

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