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#45599 - 11/20/06 08:30 PM 3 weeks sober...
mark250676 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 310
Loc: England
Not a lot I know but after many years drunk it seem's strange more than anything else.

My consultant has advised I never drink again. This seem's the hardest thing to grasp for me. It seem's to say I'm weak and can't have alcohol in my life. I know I need to take it one day at a time but part of me can't settle with the thought of never drinking again.

_________________________
Survivor and fighter!

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#45600 - 11/21/06 12:28 AM Re: 3 weeks sober...
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
If you keep it in the day you can.
When I left the rehab I remember walking up to the house on a nice April day and the thought came to: The rest of my life? Beyond comprehension and I paid the price. Over and Over. So I thought, 'what have I got to lose?'
I tried.I'm sober today, still visiting from Uranus,and tomorrow is another day.

Froggy 12
froggy12

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#45601 - 11/21/06 03:03 AM Re: 3 weeks sober...
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
best thing i did quit drinking 4 years sober now....there was a time i said to myself i would never quit...why.....yet i hit bottom real bad..everythinmg was comming in real quick....so i quit...first 2 years was hell now thgings are mellowing out...so much to learn..that i never did..being drunk all of the time...i get mad at myself for wasting the major part of my life..yet grateful for finally waking up....so now i am going to try and make the best out of what time i have left steve


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#45602 - 11/21/06 03:04 AM Re: 3 weeks sober...
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
best thing i did quit drinking 4 years sober now....there was a time i said to myself i would never quit...why.....yet i hit bottom real bad..everythinmg was comming in real quick....so i quit...first 2 years was hell now thgings are mellowing out...so much to learn..that i never did..being drunk all of the time...i get mad at myself for wasting the major part of my life..yet grateful for finally waking up....so now i am going to try and make the best out of what time i have left steve


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#45603 - 11/21/06 03:05 AM Re: 3 weeks sober...
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
sorry for doubble post stupid puter


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#45604 - 11/21/06 04:21 AM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Halibut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/06
Posts: 228
Loc: Alaska
Congrats!!!! You're not weak, you strong enough to have a sober life. Day at a time Mark. I'm glad for you.

Halibut


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#45605 - 11/21/06 02:33 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
mark250676 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 310
Loc: England
Thanks guys. Xmas is my first massive hurdle!!

_________________________
Survivor and fighter!

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#45606 - 11/21/06 04:10 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Mark, its not easy, but at least you have made the step to recovering your life.

Congrats,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#45607 - 11/21/06 05:09 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
Great job! The early times are indeed the hardest but don't allow yourself to become complacient eithter. I woudl have to think about it but off the top of my head I think it's been seven years for me.

The problem I had was I could say no to alcohol nine times out of ten but that tenth time... I wouldn't be able to stop. Friends would tell me I didn't have a problem and that was easy for me to believe but I know I'm better off without it.

Good work man.


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#45608 - 11/21/06 06:28 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Prog tonite BBC2 rain in my heart, a story of alcoholics and just how bad it can get.

Only available in UK,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#45609 - 11/21/06 07:32 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
Mark,
Congrats! One moment and one minute at a time. Get on chat here if you need help.
Paul


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#45610 - 11/23/06 12:33 AM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Ste
I watched that last night, and it was one of the most depressing things I've ever seen.
But it was also a superb documentary that needed to be seen by everyone.

I know a few alcoholics, I went to my friends funeral last year even though the last time I saw him alive he ignored me. He died painfully and a very lonely man, about 5 or 6 people were at the funeral.

My dad's alcoholic, but he's 87 and doing remarkably well by keeping the drinking under some control. Giving up is pointless, so together we keep him topped up but not falling down drunk.

I also have a nephew in AA, and a few friends who are either sober or struggling. One good friend is about to lose his job because he's been caught drink driving again.
It's a teribble thing for everyone concerned, the fallout from one alcoholic spreads far and wide.

Possibly it's the easiest addiction to fall into?
Over here we can buy drink so easily and cheaply, and it's also socially acceptable, and easy to hide.

My dad's been drinking secretly for over 30 years, possibly since before I left home to get married 33 years ago. But we've only just discovered the severity of his problem in the last year.

Like so many people who have gone before me I've tried everything from losing my temper, searching the house and pouring his booze down the toilet to reasoning with him.
I took his car away so he wouldn't drive drunk AND get more booze, but one night I went over to see him and found him walking down the street in the rain at 8-00pm. This was unusual because his legs and knees are knackered, some days he can barely get out of his chair to go to the bathroom.
But he'd down town to the supermarket, about a mile each way, and was striding home with his pockets bulging from beer cans!

Then, I understood. And it had taken me a long time to get to that point.
I had refused to accept the severity of his problem, or the actual cruelty of my attempts to stop his drinking.
I've not returned the car, there were other reasons for that although the possibilty of drink driving was the main one, but I now take him to the supermarket and we buy 'just enough'.

It's hard for the alcoholic, and for all of us around them as well.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#45611 - 11/26/06 07:55 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
mark250676 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 310
Loc: England
Tough day today. Have started to play mind games with myself.

"What will happen if I have a drink. I mean come on I'm not going to turn into a werewolf or something!"

"So your not drinking now but surely I'm not going to NEVER drink again. Why not get in first and just try a drink"

Over and over.

Was invited to a friends house with my kids to watch the football. Decided to stay at home as it's a place I would have got totally out of it a couple of months ago. Sitting at home alone drinking diet bloody lemonade now!

One month soon.

_________________________
Survivor and fighter!

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#45612 - 11/26/06 08:03 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Kirk Wayne Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/05
Posts: 499
Loc: Shrewsbury UK
Mark

A second, a minute and hour at a time if need be, stinking thinking leads to drinking .... its the old denial factor at work .... it will pass I promise ..... give yourself a pat on the back for getting through the weekend.

Take it easy

Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"


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#45613 - 11/26/06 08:28 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Mark,
I'm in the program. I don't give a rat's ass who knows (anonomity). I was always hospitalized because I was so drunk and a danger to myself. After that I had no problem, until I had the 1st drink and then it was all downhill on a skate board. Depression and isolation were the usual culprets, paranoid about rejection from others (trust issues you say?)and fear. With alcohol I was numb, no feelings, drowning in despair. I have been sober this time almost 3 years and many times the rejection fear returns and start to isolate again. I want to tell those I am close to how I feel but they shut me out. And if I keep sitting in my hole I will drown and I think that might not be such a bad idea. I have no joy today.

froggy12

_________________________
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#45614 - 11/26/06 08:36 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
mark250676 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 310
Loc: England
Froggy,
I share so many of the feelings you describe. Kirk cheered me up by saying I should pat myself on the back and you've both provided me with inspiration to get to 3 years and beyond.

Mark

_________________________
Survivor and fighter!

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#45615 - 11/26/06 08:46 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
"As The Frog Turns" - a maudlin sopa opera. I noted that I am not taking my own advice from above 'keep it in the day' because the cynic self seems to rule. The moon must be in hysterectomy again, or in mars, plato or my favorite: Uranus. Being alone is a killer and to reach out and get no response, deadly. As if I called the "Samaritan Hot Line" and was put on hold. Again. I won't drink, but the emptyness is draining my hope and resistance and that is cause for concern. I have not eaten, taken any of my meds (I thought I failed that course in 'Drama Queen 1A?")so I'll have more coffee, go for a ride and see what happens.

froggy12

_________________________
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#45616 - 11/26/06 10:23 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Halibut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/06
Posts: 228
Loc: Alaska
Mark-- those thoughts are the temptation to dring kicking in. No, you're not going to turn into a werewolf, because Nobody turns into a werewolf. what will happen is you'll lose all of the hard work and effort of the past few weeks and your life will grow more unmanagable. Right now it's hard to manage b/c sobriety is new-- but you'll get there.

Fight the good fight!

Halibut


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#45617 - 12/08/06 03:08 AM Re: 3 weeks sober...
mark250676 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 310
Loc: England
5 weeks plus now. Or 700 units that haven't gone into my body and 350 that's still in my bank account!

I heard a quote that hit a button for me about giving up smoking

"I haven't given up anything, I've taken up not smoking"

Helps for some reason. Can't sleep very well though. Think I've lost the ability to drop off to sleep unless I'm 100% exhausted or drunk.

_________________________
Survivor and fighter!

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#45618 - 12/08/06 04:15 AM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Halibut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/06
Posts: 228
Loc: Alaska
Congratulations Mark!!! your body is adjusting to a new life, the hard time trying to sleep will pass. I'm glad for you. What a great present to give yourself. Keep up the good work....one day at a time.

Halibut


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#45619 - 12/08/06 04:36 AM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Mark, in my 37 years I've known 2 types of drinkers, the ones that can function in our society and the then their are the ones that simply can't.

It doesn't make you "weak" if you can't drink ok? We all come with a huge range of talents/abilities/limitations. My major limitation is that I can't improve my career/working life, although I can drink alcohol and function just fine. But ask me to work on or fix my car? Ha!! I would wreck whatever I was working on and even if somehow I did not destroy the engine or whatever I was working on, there is no way that I could ever figure out how to put it back together! It's all about being different and recognizing your limitations.

So........I'm never going to apply for a job as a mechanic. Does this make sense to you?


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#45620 - 12/22/06 02:24 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
mark250676 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 310
Loc: England
Just passed the 7 week mark and would have drunk 1,000 units by now if I hadn't have given up.

But good it's hard today. Work finishes for Xmas today and everyone is talking about how they deserve a drink and can't wait to get into the festive spirit.

Grrrr Even my secret santa present was 2 bottles of beer!

Part of me thinks 'Go one have one drink tonight you deserve it. Everyone else is having one you deserve it to. It's only one. You can have another one after tommorow when you reach another 'landmark''.

But I worry the landmarks will become smaller and smaller again. Only at xmas - Only every 1,000 undrunk units - Only every friday - Only weekends - Only one bottle a day etc etc.

_________________________
Survivor and fighter!

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#45621 - 12/22/06 03:29 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Stay in the day, not tomorrow. It will get here soon enough.

froggy12

_________________________
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#45622 - 12/22/06 03:47 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Mark, keep at it, Christmas drinking is out for me, it just makes you groggy.
I watch all the idiots drinking themselves silly, not for me.

Best wishes,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#45623 - 12/22/06 04:08 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
Mark,

Congratulations for taking care of yourself! It must feel good to know that you are in charge of things. We are all proud of you!

Recovery is Possible!

Brian

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Recovery is Possible!

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#45624 - 12/22/06 06:30 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Chairman201 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/13/06
Posts: 17
Loc: Midwest
Mark250676,

Keep up the good work! It is especially important during the holidays to go to AA meetings - as many as you can attend. This is the roughest time of the year, for many people and for many reasons.

I don't mean to sound preachy, but go to lots of meetings. Read the AA literature when you're feeling down. Get a sponsor, even a temporary one. Work Step 1 by using prayer and meditation. Try and get a AA meditation book and have that all-important "Morning quiet time" of prayer and meditation. Keep the book with you and say some prayers and read something at lunchtime. Then go to a meeting after work (if your working). You'll be amazed how peaceful your day goes after taking that morning quiet time. And get phone numbers of people at the meetings who seem like they've got some sobriety time. Call them when you get the urge. Oh, and last but not least - exercise! I didn't bother when I first got sober - big mistake, 'cause it really improves your mental state by providing more energy and less depression as the what's called 'dopamine' gets released into your brain after 40 minutes of exercise. Its a natural anti-depressant. Plus exercise will help clean out your system as well.

Good Luck,

Chairman201


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#45625 - 01/12/07 09:45 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
mark250676 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 310
Loc: England
OK guys 9 weeks twice not sober. Sorry.

Having a fall out with my wife now and part of me realises that I've blown it out of proportion for an excuse to have a drink.

Ah this stuff sucks!

Was gonna type why can't I be normal but I know the answer.

Probably shouldn't be posting as I'll write some stuff I'll regret in the morning.

All the best guys.

Mark

_________________________
Survivor and fighter!

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#45626 - 01/12/07 10:06 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Mark, from one of the heaviest drinkers, you have done well thus far.
Taking it out on the wife, hurts the kids also, so be careful of their welfare.

You have done well, but make it up to her,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#45627 - 01/13/07 03:27 AM Re: 3 weeks sober...
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
mark no reason to be sorry...hang in there steve


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#45628 - 01/13/07 05:35 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
mark250676 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 310
Loc: England
Made up with the my wife and feel good today.

Thanks guys as ever your support and advise was great.

Mark

_________________________
Survivor and fighter!

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#45629 - 01/13/07 05:57 PM Re: 3 weeks sober...
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
Mark,

I'm glad that you are doing better... One day at a time.

Recovery is Possible!

Brian

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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