The monsters come out at night the demons follow close behind the dark shadows that stalk me come to life sleep is not an option. My csa is magnified at night. Darkness is the fuel that feeds my mind and keeps me frozen in time of a little boy being violated. Soon I will surrender to sleep and be haunted by the memories that my mind can not handle while awake. Peace is all I need that's all peace
Perfect. Sorry it is you and sorry it is happening but perfect way to capture and express the nightly torment. I understand and relate to your post very well. I wake nearly every night between 3am and 5am - the hours between which he would take me from my bed, lead me to another room, violate me and return me - shaking quivering dying - back to my bed. And today decades later sleep is not rest, it is not peace.
Damned if you sleep. Damned if you don't - no amount of coffee is going to hide your sleep deficit. The night terrors are waiting for us again. Aside from a prescription for trazadone, my T suggests when I wake, breathe, remind myself 'now not then' and do not look at the clock.
Sorry you are awake but you are not alone.