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#455507 - 11/29/13 10:08 PM I told her
Frustrated Offline

Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Holy shit I finally broke down and told her. I only told her a little bit that my uncle molested me when I was 3 and 4 years old and left it at that. She only asked a couple questions like why I didn't tell my parents and I replied I may have I just don't remember telling them. I told her I am remembering more things. I told her what my uncle did and how he did it did not get into any major details. She said she feels bad for me and asked why I didn't say anything 20 years ago I replied I am just now recalling things and putting it together. She said she wouldn't ask me a lot of questions. I think it has to sink in. Tomorrow will be interesting I know she will have to ask more questions. It's a start a grain of sand on a beach but it's a start

#455515 - 11/29/13 10:20 PM Re: I told her [Re: Frustrated]
freeze-on Offline

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 78
Loc: southeast
I think of it as a boulder on a beach. A very giant start. Hang in there man.

#455516 - 11/29/13 10:20 PM Re: I told her [Re: Frustrated]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3645
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Wow, F - !!!

that is a HUGE step - and i am so impressed that you went through with it. i hope it is a big weight lifted off your mind. and i believe it will be a significant transition to a new phase of being real and honest - not only with your wife - but also with yourself. sounds like she handled it really well. i'm sure that must have been a major worry for you. be prepared for some awkwardness at times - but just try to do what you can do. talk when you feel like it - ask for a pass when you need to. but it is great that you have another supporter. you may need to teach her what you need. maybe have some things for her to read to explain some of the common patterns of survivors' behavior, etc.

anyway - congratulations on your courage - and keep up the good work!
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho

#455517 - 11/29/13 10:25 PM Re: I told her [Re: Frustrated]
Frustrated Offline

Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Lee thanks it is a huge step just getting started. I will keep y'all posted. It's going to take years to tell her the majority of it. But I'm ready for whatever happens I can't hide any more

#455518 - 11/29/13 10:26 PM Re: I told her [Re: Frustrated]
Frustrated Offline

Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Mr freeze thanks

#455522 - 11/29/13 11:18 PM Re: I told her [Re: Frustrated]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 4257
Loc: O Kanada
holy cow!

you did it!

this is big.

i feel relieved, now that the truth is out there.

i really hope it all works out between you two.

she will need some time,
look how long you needed.

this is a few start, and a new beginning.

please keep us posted.


#455577 - 11/30/13 01:29 PM Re: I told her [Re: Frustrated]
OCN Offline

Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 336
Loc: Western Europe
Great job F!
Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

I now know who I am - I've never been anybody else!

#455598 - 11/30/13 05:15 PM Re: I told her [Re: Frustrated]
Dave PNW Offline

Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 122
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Good work F!! Now you have her working with you. It will help her understand your ups and downs and bad days. After knowing my wife for 30 years, we have been married 26, I told her for the first time just last June. I know how hard this is. Proud of you.

#455603 - 11/30/13 06:38 PM Re: I told her [Re: Frustrated]
Frustrated Offline

Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Thank you everyone

#455609 - 11/30/13 08:07 PM Re: I told her [Re: Frustrated]
don64 Offline

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 894
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Congratulations F!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy you have broken your own silence. Secrets are so poisonous for me. Don
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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