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#367171 - 08/01/11 12:58 PM Re: My True Identity (triggers) [Re: thefutureorbust]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 214
Loc: Tucson Arizona
Good call.

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

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#367181 - 08/01/11 07:48 PM Re: My True Identity (triggers) [Re: kinghenri]
thefutureorbust Offline


Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 171
Loc: NC
I notice when I go with it and allow SSA to happen it looses its power over me. Im not scared of it. I realize part of my SSA is a deep burning need for love attention, care, friendship.

_________________________
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"

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#367413 - 08/04/11 04:22 PM Re: My True Identity (triggers) [Re: kinghenri]
Logan81 Offline


Registered: 01/28/11
Posts: 42
Loc: Lubbock, TX
Originally Posted By: kinghenri
I didnt. Its there. Its always there.
I guess It was just wishful thinking.
Everything is so damn difficult.
I just want to be like the other guys but I hate them at the same time.


From what I've seen, other guys have their own issues, just like we do. I know that in my head, but sometimes it's hard to genuinely believe that's true, deep down inside.

Personally, I'm in a similar place as you when it comes to women. Although I'd describe myself as bi, I am typically more attracted emotionally to women than I am men. Whenever I meet a cute/nice girl, though, I always get thoughts of "If she ever really got to know me, she wouldn't want anything to do with me." Again, logically, I know that I'm a good, nice, attractive guy. It really doesn't feel that way on the inside, though.

It sucks, and I wish I knew a quick and easy way to get past it, but I don't. More than anything, I think it just takes time. In the meantime, I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you're not alone.


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#455341 - 11/28/13 10:26 AM Re: My True Identity (triggers) [Re: Logan81]
saint-of-Lost-Causes Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/13/07
Posts: 57
Loc: Michigan
I feel the same way...i am currently married and am in love with my wife, but have these impulse urges to act out with a man. Its difficult...to figure out if im having a sexual identity crisis or if its from the abuse.
_________________________
We accept the love we think we deserve!

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#455370 - 11/28/13 04:31 PM Re: My True Identity (triggers) [Re: kinghenri]
On The Fringe Offline


Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
I was a bit hyper sexual for a time. Definitely a consequence of my CSA and resulting deep feeling that I was not worthy of being loved.

I did learn there are plenty of women that want to love. That will be happy to help and encourage. They seem to take a whole bunch of crap as long as they feel loved and wanted. They tried hard to fix what was broken in me. Most were plenty wild. Brought up things I had thought of but did not mention.

On feeling SSA and worrying about what a woman would think... If you are in a relationship and share that as part of the fallout of your CSA, I think it would be something she would be understanding of. Help you with it.

Of course some women are just heartless, as men are, but so many are more understanding than we suspect. They want us to share our pain. Look at the women posting here. They have been thru plenty of crap and still want to help and restore the relationship.

God bless them.
_________________________
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

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#455453 - 11/29/13 01:30 PM Re: My True Identity (triggers) [Re: On The Fringe]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1648
Well said. It is important to find the right woman-one who can understand and love you for what you have lived and impacts your life. The world is full of good and compassionate people--both women and men--and full of closed minded people and as you say heartless.

As you have said there are many women here who want to help and support despite all they have been through in life. It is a testament to their courage, love and compassion. If you have one of these women--hold onto her and work hard to heal and rid yourself of the damage the abuser left us with. All talk to her about your abuse--also listen to her pain and fears. CSA impacts not only the survivor but people around them.

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