Sorry in advance, my thoughts are a bit muddled these days, so hopefully I will make some amount of sense.
People who know about my abuse usually ask why i didn't physically stop it once I was big enough (quick background - abused by mother from young - 16). Certainly i wasn't being physically forced or even threatened, not really since I was very little. Even by 12, 14, for sure by 16 I was big enough to at least try to stop it. Some people don't get how it can be abuse if there was no physical threat, and worse if you look like a willing participant. I think I get a bit of a pass because my perp was my mom, so people do see that as 'wrong', but I imagine if she wasn't it might not be as clear. I guess my point is that some people see abuse as being a threat, real or imagined, making people do things they don't want to do. In my case it was less of a threat and more manipulation, subtle but just as damaging. My father also abused me, but was more physically threatening. Its clearer to people how that can happen. The manipulation, the lies, the playing the victim - thats what gave my mother power as the abuser.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.