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#454838 - 11/22/13 10:37 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 151
Loc: Chicago
I am very happy for you. I also admire what you did.

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#454843 - 11/22/13 10:48 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
focusedbody Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 359
Loc: NY
Lee:

The thing about memories is that they can keep dogging us until a moment arrives for them to feel the light of day. As you know, many of us still struggle to get there.

Thank you for sharing your precious journey. It inspires me to hold hope alongside the pain of what feels undone. It also reminds me of the gentleness and kindness that helps the next step not seem like a nightmare.

Peace,

FB
_________________________
Lose the drama; life is a poem.

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#454926 - 11/24/13 02:09 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 235
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Hey Lee, around a month or so I ago I had the same talk with my wife, like you I'd outlined what had happened but this time told her every nasty detail, it hurt, I cried, she cried, she was angry (boy was she angry) but wow what a star she was, our relationship is so much better, I feel better, I feel like I'm healing.

Good luck
David
_________________________
To look up and not down,
To look forward and not back,
To look out and not in

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#455055 - 11/25/13 11:03 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3463
Loc: somewhere in Africa
David, FB, CafeMan, Frustrated, Jeff, sugarbaby, MB, Lucy, Matt, Esposa, Victor, VC -

thank you all for the validating comments. a year ago i would not have believed that i would be where i am today.

i feel like i know each of you and can recall "conversations" that each of you participated in that have helped to get me to this new and better place. and there are so many others who have given of themselves, too.

i guess what i am saying is that none of us can do this alone. we need each other. and i thank each of you for being part of the process for me - and for one another.

LEE
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#455057 - 11/25/13 11:09 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Lee because of you I am going to take a chance and tell my wife some of what happened to me. I will never be able to tell her everything do there will always be secrets but if I tell her some it's a start and will help her understand why I am the way I am. The worse that can happen is she leaves if that happens I guess it's meant to be that way. But I can't live with this it's killing me every minute of every day. Thanks for sharing

James

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#455061 - 11/25/13 11:24 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3463
Loc: somewhere in Africa
hey, James - let me know how it goes. PM if you like.
i'll be glad to take some part of the credit - if it works well for you - but not sure i want the blame if it doesn't!
seriously - i understand what it takes to do this - and what the risks are.
hope you don't mind if i pray for a good outcome.
LEE
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#455062 - 11/25/13 11:28 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Lee I welcome that. It's going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. Will be a life changer for sure. Thanks again

James

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#455064 - 11/25/13 11:59 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
gettingstronger Offline


Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 181
Loc: Virginia
Hey James,

Just told my wife recently too. (A few weeks ago.) She's been really, REALLY supportive. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for ya.

Bob
_________________________
Never worry about "three steps forward and two steps back." Thirty steps forward and twenty back are still ten steps in the right direction.

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#455065 - 11/26/13 12:03 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
i just prayed for you, frustrated.

it might help you to write down what you plan to say first.
get your thoughts in order.
take your time, and wait until you are ready.
a little preparation and rehearsal.
professional consultation would not hurt either.

she may already have some notion or suspicion,
that could soften the impact.

i am supporting your decision.

please keep us posted.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#455068 - 11/26/13 12:40 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3463
Loc: somewhere in Africa
V's suggestion is a good one. I read what I wrote to her to make sure I said all I wanted to and nothing that I didn't want.
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
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