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#455070 - 11/26/13 12:48 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 195
I plan to write it down and rehearse it. When I say it out loud to myself I still can't believe it's happening. I'm going to wait till the right moment maybe this weekend I don't want to tell her this close to thanks giving. I will keep y'all posted for sure. It's a crazy time.

Thanks Guys
James
_________________________
I will never be safe I will never be sain I will always be weird inside I will always be lame

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#455079 - 11/26/13 01:53 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5514
Loc: O Kanada
also, my congratulations and good wishes go out to tbkkfile and gettingstronger for finding the courage to share with their partners.

honesty=intimacy

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#455081 - 11/26/13 02:29 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: Frustrated]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5514
Loc: O Kanada
good plan, frustrated.

that is how i did it.

the script should help you stick to the story.
your partner may need some time to digest and respond,
so please be gentle and patient.

you might feel a combination of relief and apprehension after disclosing,
but the recipient could also be experiencing extreme emotional reactions as a result.

i also discovered that once i had spoken the words,
they lost their power over me.
there was no need to ever have that conversation again with my wife.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#455082 - 11/26/13 02:36 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 343
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Victor is right honesty = intimacy, the whole dynamic of our marriage changed with that one act of me telling all, suddenly all of the things that my wife could never quite square fell into place, links were made and realizations occurred.

Its not a panacea but you know what? its a damn good place to start.

Good luck James and hope that it goes well for you
_________________________
To look up and not down,
To look forward and not back,
To look out and not in

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#455083 - 11/26/13 02:47 AM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: tbkkfile]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5514
Loc: O Kanada
honesty=vulnerability=intimacy=empowerment

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#455597 - 11/30/13 05:03 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
OCN Offline


Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 342
Loc: Western Europe
Superb work Lee! smile
_________________________
Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

I now know who I am - I've never been anybody else!

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#456304 - 12/07/13 12:08 PM Re: NO MORE SECRETS! [Re: traveler]
Luademel Offline


Registered: 12/05/13
Posts: 6
Loc: nj
This is wonderful! Congratulations on your bravery!

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