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#452268 - 11/02/13 06:43 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Lancer,
It's so very good to read your postings again.
Hope you are feeling better and stronger.
And I love the cats. Just love them.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#452296 - 11/02/13 11:27 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1510
Loc: New England


Seems Appropriate. Welcome back Lancer. You're the best.
_________________________
I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me, doctor?.
The Who

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#452305 - 11/03/13 01:35 AM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3373
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Good to hear from you again, Lancer - better than good - a relief!

don't leave us in the dark for so long - we worry about you.

the feline friends sound - and look - like a positive step!

LEE
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#454469 - 11/19/13 05:49 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Just an update fwiw.

When I had the heart attack a couple weeks after losing Ricky - and when my mood permitted it - I started thinking of recovery well underway by Thanksgiving. I gotta say the past three months have been tougher than I'd have ever imagined.

The meds issue is coming around. Feel better having dumped most of them except for the cholesterol med and a BP med (jury's still out). Claratin has helped the sinus somewhat. Tylenol - my only pain reliever option - helps a bit, too. Things aren't as resolved as I'd like, but I'm no longer in agonizing pain most of the day. And I suddenly noticed the other day I've not had even a hint of angina lately.

Change of seasons here in the South has helped because I can now work outdoors without being soaked in sweat after five minutes. Consequently, I'm back to digging, weeding, trimming, pruning, fertilizing, etc. Physically I feel more resilient than I have in over a year. Three months, however, has felt agonizingly slow, like an eternity.

Getting back into the photo side of my business has been frustrating. Have had a couple awful, embarrassing, subpar shoots. Currently trying - have a week to do it - with an extensive product shoot of few thousand dollars' worth of designer eyewear sitting on my dining room table. (Guess it says something that I have a client who trusts me with that much inventory). Just a few months and I feel like I've lost a lot of my skill. I feel like I'll eventually get it back, but I'm nowhere near that point. Feels almost like learning to walk all over again. (Hospital bills aside, I nevertheless invested in a 24MP upgrade on one of the camera bodies I'll admit was partially to get my juices flowing again, screw the expense).

The pair of cats have been my primary road to recovery. I still miss 16 years with Ricky and, painful to admit because I'd do anything to have Ricky back, these guys can't replace him or the depth of our relationship. But these guys have grown on me, though I've only had them a month.

Charlie (went ahead with secret nickname of "Kitler") is more of an exuberant youngster - even at 2 - but has quickly developed his trust with me. Nero (a "butch pussy") talks a lot (identical voice to Ricky's sister Lucy, another black cat I had years ago), follows me almost everywhere, trusts me with his stomach (as a Ragdoll cat, Buddy, had done in my past) and gladly spoons with me...I go to bed with him beside me and 4-5 hours later wake up with him in the same position. Interesting he spoons on my right while Ricky would spoon on my left. Both of them are completely relaxed and secure with being carried - they know they won't be dropped or restrained against their will, every "landing" is a gentle one - and enjoy the view. Lots of emotional healing all the way around...and it helps these guys are paired like big brother/little brother.

...and, as all of my kittehz have done - thx for the spelchk Falcon - they're now bringing in lizard presents for me with lots of fanfare. In cat language, that's a compliment.

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#454524 - 11/19/13 11:46 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3373
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Lancer -

good to hear of progress - sorry it is slow - but at least it is something.

the cat news makes me smile. glad you went ahead on that.

and the garden stuff sounds really healthy.

keep at it - the work skills are still there. just a little dusty.

LEE
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#454586 - 11/20/13 09:09 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL
Hi Lancer. It's good to hear that you're doing a little better. Also to hear that you've got some awesome new kittehz to give snugglez to. When I lived in FL, my old kittehz used to kill lizards that got inside my apartment all the time. Always lovely to find one of those little presents lying around.

Hope you continue to heal in as quick and resilient a manner as possible. Thanks for the update. Peace,

Ken


Edited by BraveFalcon (11/20/13 09:09 PM)

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#454587 - 11/20/13 09:31 PM ! [Re: Lancer]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 10:35 PM)

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#454730 - 11/22/13 02:39 AM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Thx guys. I guess it's somewhat like breaking an arm or something. I'm cautious, not quite sure of my ability to function, amazed that I can function and, for some reason, surprised it's still taking so long (from my POV).

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#454734 - 11/22/13 03:15 AM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3327
Loc: O Kanada
good to know you are still in the fight, lancer.
nobody wants to fight,
but getting beat is worse.
i am cheering for you.

sometimes healing hurts.

hope this helps.




_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#454989 - 11/25/13 04:11 AM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
And, fwiw, kinda getting my chops back on the photography.

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